TEEN-AGE VALENTINES

February 21, 2022Love

WERE YOU EVER A TEEN-AGER IN LOVE? VALENTINE’S DAY has come and gone. Rather than posting,  pre-holiday, I took some extra time to contemplate  about romance,  and about where it all begins: In-love feelings are even more difficult to manage at an age when bodies and brains are still maturing and at a rate not […]

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WHAT LOVE MEANS NOW

December 1, 2021Happiness

When you become a Senior, “LOVE” will pretty much mean what it always has meant…. with a few additions and accommodations. The challenge of SELF-LOVE, still has to come first. A new widow told me, during a therapy session, that she had forgotten who she was. “I can’t even remember what I liked to do […]

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HOW CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR KILLS LOVE

October 27, 2021controlling men

“I’ve had too many false love-starts,” said ‘Josh,’ 35. “Josh” is a tall, pleasant man, with a bright smile who looks like he takes good care of himself. Have you even consulted with a love-coach or a psychologist before? “No,” he said, looking away from me. “Doc,” I’m ready to get married… to the right […]

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ADVICE YOU SHOULDN’T FOLLOW

September 7, 2021Love

If you are a female, chances are you mother gave you some lessons about how to get and keep a man. Or maybe you got your “LOVE INFO” from friends… or from a book. “THE RULES,” was first published in 1995 during a time when women …. and men were beginning to feel free from […]

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PANDEMIC ‘BREAD-CRUMBING” AND “LOVE-BOMBING”

April 17, 2021bread-crumbing

If you are single, chances are you made your last so-called “connection,” “on line”. Two out of every five single people aged 24 – 50 currently use, or have used an online dating service. Yes, you read that correctly – it’s 40%! Those older than 50 are not immune to itching for a love-connection either. […]

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MORE ABOUT “IMAGINARY CUPCACKES

MORE ABOUT “IMAGINARY CUPCACKES

April 2, 2021IMAGINARY CUPCAKES" AND KEEPING YOUR COOL

Time to think about giving a gift of some of those  “IMAGINARY CUPCAKES” to ease what is probably a hurt behind the anger or frustration of a loved one or a colleague. Last time I encouraged you to focus on your own emotions, and skip the temptation of quenching your own anger with empty calories. IMAGINARY […]

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LOVE … AT ANY AGE

January 14, 2019ANOTHER LOVE CHALLENGE

It’s a shiny New Year. Love is in the air.  Like the sunshine, as my mom always said, there’s enough love to go around for everyone. Doesn’t even matter how old you are. I heard a charming make-me-smile story about a romantic, creative eleven year old, too old really, to believe in Santa, who wrote […]

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LOVE AND “ANALYSIS PARALYSIS”

August 25, 2018ANALYSIS PARALYSIS AND LOVE

We all know the bleak stats. So why would anyone ever get married… or have kids… or love and/ or engage in any kind of committed relationship?  How does one muster up the nerve to take a chance and dare to choose a person… a PATH… and expect to walk on, straight ahead, with blinders, […]

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DOES IT MATTER WHO YOU MARRY ANYWAY?

February 23, 2018Alain Botton

       IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU MARRY, according to philosopher Alain de Botton.  “If you like them at the beginning, you probably won’t like them at the end. And if you start off hating them, there’s always the chance you’ll end up thinking they’re all right.” IS HE A CYNIC? AN ANTI-ROMANCE KIND […]

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DID YOU MARRY THE WRONG PERSON?

February 9, 2018Alain Botton

   “Tall, dark and handsome?  Nice but not necessary. I’m fifty and single for the first time in twenty five years.” What is it you are looking for, I asked “Jennifer,” who owned up to searching for a new and perfect mate.  “He’s going to hate football, love the beach, detest camping, and … oh… […]

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WONDER WOMAN AND LOVE

August 3, 2017empowering yourself

WONDER WOMAN,  the fictional chick, with the perfect body who is out to save the world, relies on an arsenal of advanced technology which includes the Lasso of truth, a pair of indestructible bracelets and a head piece which serves as a projectile. Hard to believe she sprung from the brain of a man. (Then […]

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JOY’S LEGACY LIVES ON… WITH KINDNESS

May 27, 2017A TRIBUTE TO JOY

KINDNESS, LIKE HAPPINESS AND LOVE, IS LIKE THE SUNSHINE…. there really is ENOUGH TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYONE. In my last blog, I celebrated the short, but wonderful life of my daughter-in-law Joy, from whom I learned so much about emotional generosity. So many of you responded. “How can I improve?” It sounds like a […]

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LOVING COUPLES… WHO FIGHT

March 28, 2017Commitment

Couples who verbally fight with each other, seem to love more than couples who don’t ever seem to disagree.  “Really?” Really. Nobody agrees with anybody all of the time. JUST THINK ABOUT THIS: You have to really trust in the glue that binds you, in order to take on inevitable differences with someone you love. […]

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“LUST” AT THE CAR WASH: A CAUTIONARY TALE

May 20, 2016challenged by your own moral compass

I spoke to a new dad who was challenged by his own moral compass, enough so, that he shared his story with me, which in turn, inspired me to write  a short, “cautionary” screenplay Everyone who has ever had a baby knows what is feels like to be too exhausted to do much more than […]

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LOVERS, FRIENDS AND NASTY SHOUT-OUTS

April 22, 2016"cracked" communication

At a point of anger, have you ever out and accused your spouse, or someone else close to you, of  “MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING?” Have you ever blown off a loved one, with a sarcastic, “GOOD LUCK,” to mean, that there would be nothing short of miracle that will make whatever he/she […]

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ROACHES, REVENGE… AND QUIRKY ROMANTIC MOVIES

February 12, 2016BRONX ZOO VALENTINE IDEA

You know, and so does she, that it’s a  “Hallmark Holiday,” but when you love somebody, you probably pay attention to “VALENTINES DAY.” You don’t need this love doctor to tell you that it’s a good idea to give in to some romantic gesture. “I’ve included some quirky movie-picks which may inspire romance… but first: […]

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WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

January 28, 2016Blog

Know any  “SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW” people? You know who I mean…. those   OPTIMISTIC souls, who like “Annie,” somehow manage to be happy anyway, even when things don’t seem to be going so well. Try not to hate them. Instead… learn from them.   Remember how everyone loved “Annie”? When life throws you a few […]

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JANUARY: “BREAK-UP” MONTH

January 17, 2016angry spouse

“Nicole” waited until January to ask her husband “Jason” for a divorce. “Nicole” is not alone… January is famous for being “BREAK-UP” month. Ask any family law attorney and you’ll hear about how calendars fill up after the holidays.  Same for marriage counselors, psychologists and love-doctors. The couples we see, though, are usually still open […]

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#1: PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE “GOTCHAS”

December 20, 2015"Gotchas"

                                                                       1. Does your spouse says or do mean things with a smile on his face? 2. Does your “loving” partner verbally comply with your requests but miss the mark, when it comes to follow-through? 3. Does he drive you crazy by consistently postponing or procrastinating doing something that he has promised to do? 4. […]

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“I’M SORRY”

November 10, 2015apology

You did something wrong, for sure… and you really are sorry. Perhaps you’ve gossiped without knowledge, broke a confidence, let somebody down, or acted selfishly. Maybe you’ve broken a promise. Not to worry; everyone’s been guilty. But for now what you want, is for whatever you did to go on automatic re-wind… and quickly. To […]

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A “BRUIN” IN BALANCE

October 11, 2015BALANCE

My sister’s hubby, a loyal  BRUIN, was one of my favorite people. Not because he’s bowled a 300 game. Never mind that he was professionally successful, adored by his family, proficient in most sports, maker of the best margaritas. He was a guy who knew how to be a good friend and how to have […]

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EVERYONE HAS “EROGENOUS” ZONES

September 11, 2015Blog

The book Dr.Wayne Dyer wrote in the 70’s, had nothing to do with sex. Look fast and “ERRONEOUS” could READ, “EROGENOUS.”      The title is what sold this book… at least initially. Dr .WAYNE DYER   tricked us into paying attention. His book had absolutely nothing to do with sex. And then… we discovered that it […]

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MAUREEN SAYS SHE WANTS A DIVORCE

September 1, 2015Blog

A wife I’ll call “Maureen” told “Russell,” her husband of eighteen years, that she wanted a divorce… Only then did they make an appointment with this love doctor! They came in fighting. I could hear them through the walls, in my waiting room. I knew this wasn’t going to be much fun. They glared at […]

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CHEAPER THAN THERAPY

August 22, 2015Blog

Do you feel ignored by your wife? Do you feel like a nuisance around her? Perhaps your relationship has hit a giant snag? In case you haven’t noticed, romance busters are everywhere. Kid-problems and managing extended family relationships don’t inspire much passion. Perhaps, there are money challenges. Or maybe your issues have to do with […]

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dr. zhivago

Her “Dr. Zhivago” Guy on Tinder

August 9, 2015Blog

 August 9, 2015 Click on the green heart if you like how she looks… to the red “X” if you’re not interested. “Tinder,” the electronic dating app makes it so easy to find your soul mate… or someone you’d like to hang out with, anyway “Tricia” swooned when she looked at “Cameron’s” photo. “He looks […]

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manners

Learning Manners From a New Yorker?

July 12, 2015Blog

July 12, 2015 I couldn’t wait to share my city of origin with my seven-year-old grandson. Aidan with his giant back-pack, rolled his suitcase into our hotel in New York City, to begin our wonderful adventure. It was just the two of us. Which meant, of course, he needed to be in charge of some […]

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nice guy

“Nice” Guys Have More Sex

June 7, 2015Blog

June 7, 2015 When’s the last time you winked at your spouse across the room? Or thanked him/her for all the things he does for you? Those would be really nice things to do. For marital happiness, I believe being “nice” is even more important than knowing the right way to “listen” and to communicate. […]

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wife

George’s Jealous Wife

May 26, 2015Blog

May 26, 2015 A man I’ll call “George,” called me several months ago. “Help,” he said. “My wife thinks I’m having an affair. She’s obsessed with everything I do. She checks out what I’m wearing. She checks out my underwear. No kidding. I bought new underwear because the old ones were tearing and she got […]

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too much texting

Etiquette For Over-Aged “Texters”

April 5, 2015Blog

April 5, 2015 “Carol,” 53, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she talked about how texting had almost led her to “romantic” folly. Newly single, “Carol” hadn’t been on a date for twenty-five years. . Then, walking her dog on Balboa Island, she met “Hal,” who invited her to coffee. She thought he […]

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narcissist

Fifty Shades of Good Guy / Bad Guy

March 3, 2015Blog

March 3, 2015 “In a super-hero movie, its typically good guy and bad guy… and bad guy attacks. In real life, evil seduces.” —Joaquin Phoenix Not always, but sometimes, these evil seducers are narcissists with over-inflated ideas of their own importance and talents, like the fictional Christian Grey in the story, “Fifty Shades of Grey.” […]

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two karate chop break ups

Two “Karate Chop” Break-Ups

February 16, 2015Blog

February 16, 2015 More couples are likely to split up in January than in any other month. The resulting chaos is great for February magazines at super-market check-stands. “Un-love” stories of the 99% of us who aren’t especially tabloid-worthy can be just as devastating… we are just not as likely to hear about them. Unless […]

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Drama junkie

Drama “Junkies” and Their Partners

January 31, 2015Blog

January 31, 2015 “At midnight, on New Year’s Eve, my wife, the ‘Drama Queen’ kissed me passionately and then screamed, so loud that the whole neighborhood could hear. She told me that last year was the worst year of our marriage and that I should pack my things and leave. This wasn’t the first time. […]

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questions

36 Magic Questions

January 18, 2015Blog

January 18, 2015 Want to feel more connected to someone? Ask each other these 36 questions — but not all at once. Even if you are not currently coupled, it may serve you well to think about your own answers. And about how much you would be willing to share. 1. Given the choice of […]

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2015

“WOOP” It Up In 2015

December 29, 2014Blog

December 29, 2014 Do you “wish” some part of your life were different? Around the turn of a new year, most of us at least, think about, thinking about these kinds of things. Unless you believe in magic, you also know that you are going to have to do something different if you want things […]

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kissing

Kissing Lessons… Movies and Mistletoe

December 19, 2014Blog

December 19, 2014 “How to Kiss,” beat out “How to crochet,” barely, as the most frequent “how to” question asked, according to Google. “How to crochet” came in as a close second this year. I’m not making this up. With so much mistletoe around, I thought it was worth mentioning. Do people really need kissing […]

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steamy

Ticket Back to Hot Sex

November 3, 2014Blog

November 3, 2014 Interested in hot sex? –“RE-KINDLING” has to come first. That is… if you’re thinking about having it with the same old partner. Think “campfire”. You have to start slow to reach the big flames. Talking is a very good place to start. Don’t roll you eyes, Gentlemen. Women are always claiming that […]

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girl

“Gone Girl” … A Mirror of Marriage

October 23, 2014Blog

October 23, 2014 “Gone Girl” was a smash hit as a book and now as a movie. Why do you think? The story is about a beautiful, once happily married wife, who mysteriously disappears on her fifth anniversary. We do get some early hints about “Amy’s” manipulation skills, but mostly, there is room for imaginations […]

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love

Love and Hope in New York City

October 3, 2014Blog

October 3, 2014 My credentials as a love doctor are stretched on every trip I make to New York. I’ve often been accused of having a love affair with this city, my original “hood.” There are lots people here who look, sound and dress like me. I see a reflection of myself everywhere. Can you […]

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predictors

Divorce Predictors

September 4, 2014Blog

September 4, 2014 Once, Holly’s life with Jeff was enviable, filled with all kinds of adventure and anticipation. They invested an enviable amount of time in their relationship. “Once upon a time,” she says, “things were perfect.” These days,” she says, she feels like he’d rather be with anyone, but me. I have become a […]

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quote

He Can So Change

August 10, 2014Blog

August 10, 2014 “Larry,” 46, is on a mission of self discovery. A mid-life crisis? Maybe. In any event, his therapy has been centered around re-thinking his own self-image. I first met Larry six months ago. He was, by his own admission, twenty pounds, over-weight. His exercise program was “stalled,” he says, because of a […]

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13 and 23

Cool at 13, Adrift at 23

June 29, 2014Blog

June 29, 2014 It must be true… I read it in the newspaper: Thirteen-year-old middle school “stars,” who dabble in stuff that most parents don’t approve of, fall off the popularity wagon in fairly short order. You know who they are.. the ones who at thirteen, only hang with attractive people, have many “romances,” … […]

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friendships

Friendship On Fire

June 8, 2014Blog

June 8, 2014 I was challenged by a man who considers himself an expert when it comes to all things, romantic. “I want to know, how you, the ‘Love Doctor, define “Romantic Love.” He wasn’t talking about “family love, or brotherly love, about institutional love, or of the unconditional love we feel for our offspring.” […]

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What Happy People Don’t Do

May 23, 2014Blog

May 23, 2014 We look in awe at people who seem to be really happy. Are they messing with us? Not always. Some people know how to be happy and we can just wonder how they do that. Don’t hate them… learn from them. Happy people know how to laugh and relish a moment. They […]

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paris

The Best City For Love: Paris? New York?

April 28, 2014Blog

April 28, 2014 Paris is the city of LOVE; I’m sure you’ve also read that somewhere. Paris is beautiful and inspiring … lovers can do well when they share the experience of what it has to offer. For me, when it comes to LOVE, however, New York is still the real deal. One sunny but […]

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scary

“Love” Can Be Scary

March 23, 2014Blog

March 23, 2014 “Love” is so powerful that it can turn your world upside down and inside out. It can be downright scary. When it works, though, there’s nothing quite like it and makes even a bumpy ride seem worthwhile. If you’ve ever loved, surely you agree. But should you become single again, chances are […]

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idea

What Awe-Inspiring Love Idea Did You Have Today?

March 1, 2014Blog

March 1, 2014 When daughters who say they are marriage-minded, get sick of hanging out with undependable, bad-boy, boyfriends, they’re likely to pay more attention to Mom’s advice: “In this turbulent ever-changing world, safe and predictable men have always made the best husbands.” Flash forward ten or twenty years and these same daughters (and some […]

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ny

New York, Salvation Army Ladies and Phony Weddings in Paris

December 8, 2013Blog

December 8, 2013 I’m on an airplane, on the way home from New York. Yes, again. The pull to spend time in my hometown remains persistent. For me, it is energizing to pound the pavement… beats a treadmill any day. I always expect something wonderful to happen. Sometimes it does. The Christmas windows at Bergdorf, […]

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Thanksgivakah

“Thanksgivukah”

November 30, 2013Blog

November 30, 2013 Jews celebrated Thanksgiving and Hanukah together this year. The Hebrew calendar just worked out that way. The second night of Hanukkah was dubbed, “Thanksgivakah” . At first, it all sounded too weird to think about. Especially since it has never happened before in my lifetime and is not about to happen again […]

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ghost stories

Ghost Stories of the Heart

October 30, 2013Blog

October 30, 2013 Maybe it’s because it’s Halloween. Or maybe not. Just seems that everyone has a ghost-sighting story to tell and that all too often, the stories have something to do with romance.. “Brett’s” mom died twenty years ago, but he insists she came to him in his sleep with a clear message: “Marry […]

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Private Eye

Need a Private Eye? Not So Fast

October 9, 2013Blog

October 9, 2013 A woman I’ll call “Molly” came to see me after spending a weekend at spa resort with her friend who I’ll call “Jody.” Their husbands were off playing in a golf tournament. Molly was upset because her friend revealed that her husband had asked for a vacation from their marriage. Jody’s husband […]

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ny ny

New York and Nude Models… With New Eyes

September 21, 2013Blog

September 21, 2013 Nude models… a young man and a young woman… a quartet playing soft background music, forty or so artists and some wannabees, sketching, a bar, snacks for sale and the most exquisite, illustrative art on the walls. A perfect New York experience. As a former New Yorker who can still fake it, […]

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Picture of Dr. Linda Algazi, Ph.D

Texting During Sex? Noooo!

August 3, 2013Blog

August 3, 2013 It must be true. I read it and  it wasn’t  even in the tabloids: Twenty percent of people under thirty-five text while having sex. Some older folks, apparently, are guilty too. I can’t vouch for what happens in the bedrooms of these people but I don’t think it could be very much […]

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broken

A Museum Dedicated to You and Me and Broken Love

July 18, 2013Blog

July 18, 2013 “BROKENSHIPS” is the name of the café in an award-winning museum in Croatia, called The Museum of Broken Relationships. A totally cool and brilliant idea. More than ever, museum professionals look for way to make exhibitions, their “wares” if you will, relevant to this latest generation who have been raised in a […]

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seniors

On Becoming an “Elderly, Optimistic Orphan”

June 10, 2013Blog

June 10, 2013 I’m working at becoming an “optimistic orphan.” My mom died last year, at ninety-five and a half, fifty years after my dad’s death. Most people would say she lived a long-enough life and that I should be grateful not only her longevity, but for the promise of my own. I am grateful. […]

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Chalk on pavement

Never Trust a Woman

May 15, 2013Blog

May 15, 2013 It was a really bad week for women, at least in the movies. “The Great Gatsby,” Jay, is obsessed not only with his own image, but with vulnerable Daisy, the wife of wealthy, boorish and philandering Tom. Gatsby throws outrageous, over-the-top parties, mostly to attract Daisy’s attention. He’ll do anything to win […]

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serious?

How “Serious” is Your Relationship?

February 14, 2013Blog

February 14, 2013 Do you remember when you decided that your love relationship became “SERIOUS” Do you remember what you told your friends, your parents? By “SERIOUS,” I don’t think you meant “grave”, or “stern” or “humorless.” You were in love and it was fun. That’s what you were trying to communicate. “He’s special.” “She’s […]

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50 kisses

“Fifty Kisses” Screenplay Contest

January 31, 2013Blog

January 31, 2013 I’d love for you to read my Valentine’s script and give me some notes! “Fifty Kisses.” Think about it. I just couldn’t resist entering this contest because it felt like the perfect challenge for this love doctor, who also happens to be a closeted screenwriter. The task: To write a complete screenplay, […]

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My Valentine

To My Valentine

January 16, 2013Blog

January 16, 2013 Dear Valentine, I know you are worried about what to give me for Valentine’s Day, so let me give you a few hints. No chocolates, please. I love chocolates, and I will not be able to resist them. Save me from that. Please. I do not want cut flowers because they die […]

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love

“Amour”… About Love and the End of Life

December 26, 2012Blog

December 26, 2012 “Amour”… About Love and the End of Life – I think a lot about “love,” even when it’s not the holidays. I read a about relationships and seek out movies about people who care about each other. You’d probably agree that this is a good thing for the “love-doctor” to do. So, […]

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one too many

Infidelity

November 17, 2012Blog

November 17, 2012 Infidelity – The conference at UCI last week-end was about “infidelity.” Not about how to do it, but how to avoid it and/or recover after it has happened. We react with reality TV- like interest and scorn, when national heroes, or our friends, are caught giving in to illicit passions. “How could […]

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Dustin Hoffman

Husbands, Wives: Learn From Dustin Hoffman

October 10, 2012Blog

October 10, 2012 Husbands, Wives: Learn From Dustin Hoffman – Dustin Hoffman, the actor, said that Luciano Pavarotti, the famous classical singer and one-time insurance salesman, allegedly relied on encouragement from his wife to get out on the stage and perform. “My wife is also how I came to producing and directing in this time […]

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bonding

Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding

July 7, 2012Blog

July 7, 2012 Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding – Never mind the current best-selling trilogy of “mommy porn” fiction which I talked about in my last entry. (Click here on “Fifty Shades of Gray” to check it out.) I’m saying that if you really want to keep love hot, “bondage” doesn’t work. […]

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kiss

The “Kind Kiss”

February 19, 2012Blog

February 19, 2012 The “Kind Kiss” – Shakespeare wrote about the “kind kiss” as the ultimate demonstration of love. In the second part of King Henry VI, Act 1, Scene 1, said by Henry VI: “I can express no kinder sign of love, than this kind kiss.” “Kind,” I think is the operative word, whether […]

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victory Lap

Victory Lap Time

January 29, 2012Blog

January 29, 2012 Victory Lap Time – Unlike Betty White, I’m not quite old enough to brag about my age but I’ve decided that fifty years of marriage is worthy cause for celebration. Our kids apparently thought so too. I admit all this celebrating makes me a little uncomfortable. People whose pictures I see in […]

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sign

When You Sense It’s Time To Move On

November 30, 2011Blog

November 30, 2011 When You Sense It’s Time To Move On – I’m buying a shiny, sleek, glamorous new car today and I feel terrible about it. This new car looks wonderful; it has not even one dent or nick. The leather seats are spotless because they have no history. No one I love has […]

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director

Learn From Woody Allen!

June 15, 2011Blog

June 15, 2011 Learn From Woody Allen! – If you believe in love, and if a flight of fantasy appeals to you, go see Woody Allen’s new movie, “Midnight in Paris.” It’s not only a cheap vacation to a wonderful and oh-so-romantic city, but it’s a coming of age story. I believe Woody has finally […]

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men who cheat

Men Who Cheat

May 29, 2011Blog

May 29, 2011 Men Who Cheat – A man told me he’s been faithful to his wife since his 45th birthday. How old are you? I asked. “Forty-five and two weeks,” he answered. What’s really up when a man cheats on his wife? Sometimes, not much, according to at least one survey, which by the […]

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prince william

Prince William as a Married “NF”

April 9, 2011Blog

April 9, 2011 Prince William as a Married “NF” – Although Prince Charles did not wear a wedding ring when he married Diana, rumor has it that he wears a hidden one, under his signet ring, since he has been married to Camilla. (Think what you will, about that.) Now, his son William has announced […]

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barbie and ken

Barbie and Ken Have Reconciled

March 6, 2011Blog

March 6, 2011 Barbie and Ken Have Reconciled – When Barbie left Ken around Valentines Day in 2004, I was really sad. She had “been” with the guy for forty-three years and there were at least some happy fantasies about lasting love and having fun. Then Barbie left Ken for Blaine, a much younger surfer-dude. […]

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grinch

The “Grinch” Who Stole Valentine’s Day

January 28, 2011Blog

January 28, 2011 Ever hear of Bugs Moran? He was one of the seven guys killed in the 1929 massacre. The one masterminded by Al Capone in Chicago, on Valentine’s Day! Capone had arranged for the “special valentine” to be delivered to his rival gang. Moran and his men were riddled with bullets from a […]

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Be nice and then some

Being Nice is Not Good Enough

January 3, 2011Blog

January 3, 2011 Being Nice is Not Good Enough – Pity the woman who marries a man thinking she can sculpt him in a direction in which he doesn’t want to go. Pity the man who marries a girl, hoping she will never change and stay cast in stone, except when she’s in bed, of […]

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promises

Forget Wishes: Make a Promise Instead

November 24, 2010Blog

November 24, 2010 Forget Wishes: Make a Promise Instead – For better and worse, tomorrow is Turkey Day. Families and friends gather to mark another year, celebrate, feast and give thanks. People often reminisce on Thanksgiving. As a child, I also loved this holiday. It was a time to get dressed up, and mingle with […]

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Pugs make me happy

What Really Makes You Happy?

October 16, 2010Blog

October 16, 2010 What Really Makes You Happy? – Some scrooge-like outliers seem to get off on never finding peace or joy in anything or anybody. That seems to make them as happy as they are capable of being. Most everyone else searches for another way. Does being married make you happy? If you’re in […]

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When Harry Met Sally

July 25, 2010Blog

July 25, 2010 When Harry Met Sally, they disagreed. Harry said that men and women could never really be “friends” because sex always gets in the way. Sally was outraged. “I’ve always had men friends,” she insisted. What’s behind Harry’s thinking? Harry would say that it all depends on what you mean by friendship. Certainly […]

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two hours

Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist

May 3, 2010Blog

May 3, 2010 Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist – A Chinese lady… a lovely, thin gentle Chinese woman gave me a gift today. It was carefully wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of […]

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cat

When a Woman Trivializes a Men’s Sexuality

March 21, 2010Blog

March 21, 2010 When a Woman Trivializes a Men’s Sexuality – The biggest complaint that men have about their wives has to do with a lack of interest in sex. For good reason. Women are often guilty of trivializing their husband’s need for more and better intimacy. “He’s ridiculous!” she says. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong […]

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not even Valentine's day

It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2010Blog

February 16, 2010 It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day – On a more ordinary Wednesday, John asked his girlfriend, Susan to play hooky from work and to meet him at a favorite spot near the beach. “Bring a picnic lunch,” he said. “I’ll bring the champagne.” When Susan arrived at the designated corner, she found John […]

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widow

It’s Football Season: “Widows” Beware

January 11, 2010Blog

January 11, 2010 It’s Football Season: “Widows” Beware – Some men love their families, their wives and their sports in equal amounts, or so it seems. Some wives are afraid to ask where they rank relative to say, the football season. They accuse their husbands of being “addicted” to the rush they get from spectator […]

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woman

When a Wife is Too Special For Sex

November 6, 2009Blog

November 6, 2009 When a Wife is Too Special For Sex – Although it’s usually men who complain about not getting enough attention in bed, sometimes it’s a woman who has the complaint. When he says something like, “I’ve got a headache,” and she accuses him of “giving at the office.” Love Doctors like me […]

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lipstick

Old Fantasies Never Die

September 29, 2009Blog

September 29, 2009 Old Fantasies Never Die – “I’m going to call John Thompson and find out if his wife is dead, said ”Maryann who had just finished seeing the movie, “Elsa and Fred.” The movie is about an old man who moves into an apartment next door to to an old lady, and about […]

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addicted

Amy’s Addicted to Jason

July 26, 2009Blog

July 26, 2009 Amy’s Addicted to Jason – Never mind that Jason says he loves Amy one minute and that he disappears the next. No matter that since he’s been in her life, Amy feels anxious and uncomfortable almost all of the time. And that the closer she tries to get to him, the more […]

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soul mates

“Soul-Mates”

July 4, 2009Blog

July 12, 2015 I couldn’t wait to share my city of origin with my seven-year-old grandson. Aidan with his giant back-pack, rolled his suitcase into our hotel in New York City, to begin our wonderful adventure. It was just the two of us. Which meant, of course, he needed to be in charge of some […]

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march madness

March Madness and Marriage

March 25, 2009Blog

March 25, 2009 March Madness and Marriage – The basketball frenzy of “March Madness” will go on for another weekend. Most men and some women will indulge, at the expense of other things, like their relationship with less-interested-in-such-things spouses. “I could lay down, nude, in front of the TV this week, and he wouldn’t notice,” […]

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older couple

How To Be Successful In This Marriage or Your Next One

February 18, 2009Blog

February 18, 2009 I’m having post-Valentine’s thoughts. Last week I wrote about my visit to a famous “OC” mall where I conducted a love survey. I remain amazed about what some people will tell an absolute stranger in a mall! One man, who was sort of hanging around and listening to what I was doing, […]

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vlaentine

Why Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day?

February 4, 2009Blog

February 4, 2009 Why Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day? – Men hate Valentine’s Day because it feels contrived and because it feels like it calls for some arbitrary display of love by which he will be judged. So why do women love Valentine’s Day? Because, even if it is contrived, it represents another opportunity to […]

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old friend

Learning About Love From an Old Friend

January 19, 2009Blog

January 19, 2009 Learning About Love From an Old Friend – An old friend gave himself a birthday party this weekend, It was a celebration of love and accomplishment. At the risk of sounding sentimental and icky, I was happy to be included and I’ll admit it… I cried. He and his wife have remained […]

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chance

Is Taking a Chance on Love Really Worth It?

January 10, 2009Blog

January 10, 2009 Of course! Love is worth everything … and I say this knowing how risky falling in love deeply and passionately can be. Falling in love implies vulnerability. That means when we trust another with our heart, we are, indeed, opening ourselves up to being hurt, disappointed and devastated. It’s scary. So why […]

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two wolves

The Two Wolves Inside of Us

November 1, 2008Blog

November 1, 2008 The Two Wolves Inside of Us I’ve had this profound incredible love experience! When my grandson Aidan was born six months ago, I learned about still another kind of ecstasy; I thought I had that part of my life covered until I hugged that child. Love… romantic or parental … comes with […]

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ceo

‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged

October 21, 2008Blog

October 21, 2008 ‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged – News Flash: How much you suffer from these unsettling times depends not only on the value of your portfolio. Real survivors are those who are  insulated by things, other than financial! I know a man I’ll call, “John Doe.” Along with the rest of us, John […]

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couple

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

October 12, 2008Blog

October 12, 2008 Can This Marriage Be Saved? – When a person is desperate and unhappy, when things don’t seem to him to be going his way, when he feels irrelevant, unloved, unimportant and hopeless, what he does next is not necessarily a description of his real character. No, I’m not excusing murder, mayhem, slander, […]

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what why

Ask ‘What, Not Why’

June 22, 2008Blog

June 22, 2008 Love doctors like me are always asked to explain “Why?” As in: Why did he fall out of love with me? Why did I fall out of love with him? Why did he cheat? Why did she get so fat? Why doesn’t she want to have sex with me? Why does she […]

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brides

Brides Beware!

June 8, 2008Blog

June 8, 2008 The Los Angeles Times devoted it’s entire Magazine Section to Love and Marriage a couple of weeks ago. Following is my letter to the editor, published last Sunday: Letters June 1, 2008 A Message for Brides Brides, no matter how well-educated or how much they are in love, have no idea how […]

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blogger

Welcome Me To The Electronic Age

May 25, 2008Blog

May 25, 2008 – Welcome me to the electronic age! Writing a blog is like having a few shots of mental botox… it makes me feel young, I’ll try to keep this interesting enough for you to check in from time to time. Thank you for listening… or whatever you call it.

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