It’s a shiny New Year. Love is in the air.  Like the sunshine, as my mom always said, there’s enough love to go around for everyone.

Doesn’t even matter how old you are.

I heard a charming make-me-smile story about a romantic, creative eleven year old, too old really, to believe in Santa, who wrote a letter to him anyway. I had to share it.

He asked Santa to write to the mother of a pretty girl in his class, to ask her to bring her daughter to the park on Christmas mornin

“Santa, please write to my mom too… I’ll also need a ride.”

I can’t know if Santa wrote those letters… but in the end the boy chickened out anyway.

I love that kid. Some girl is going to be very lucky some day.

Then there was the beautiful woman I met on a trip to New York.A writer, also a romantic, who said she doesn’t quite know how it happened so fast… but she had celebrated 85 birthdays.

She’s lovely… and not just “for her age.”

After a long and successful marriage, she said that her husband had passed. Her children didn’t live too close and she lived alone in the city.

Not surprising to me, she told me about her  “now boyfriend,” who she described in part as being twenty years younger than she.

“Sixty five year old men aren’t young… so age doesn’t matter,” she explained.

How did you meet him? I asked. I was really curious.

“On line,”she said.

Really?

I told her about how may of my clients were meeting new loves on line these days. She stopped me….

“Oh no, not that kind of line…. I met him on line in IKEA. We were checking out.”

 My new friend had a smile that lit up the restaurant. I could only imagine him checking her out.

The promise of finding and / or experiencing new love at any age is an extraordinary feeling, filled with promise. No one…no one… is immune from the possibility.

And you know what else is true? “ROARING BONFIRE ROMANCE” is biologically unsustainable in humans.

Damn.

The best of relationships drift into a more emotionally comfortable “attachment” stage. The predictability  and comfort of being with a long term partner, with whom you share a rich history, seems to provide a soothing-enough constant to make the trade-off worthwhile… at least most of the time.

In any event, the new year is a good time to rev things up a bit to flame home fires.  Think about what you can do to challenge your current relationship:

Celebrate

Laugh

Exercise forgiveness

Surprise your partner

Focus on the positives

Take a vacation (or a staycation) together

Offer compliments to him/her

Take on some chore your spouse usually handles without being asked

Look in a mirror to assess any personal improvements you might consider.

TAKE IT FROM ME… THE LOVE DOCTOR, 

ABUSE ASIDE…  IT IS USUALLY WORTH IT TO HOLD ON TIGHT.


Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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