Politics is an adversarial game. For the most part, it is an ugly “game” and watching too much  TV, I’ve decided, Is not good for mental health. At east it’s not good for mine.

Friendship and family, on the other hand, depend on LOVE and connection.

Can these two ideas be reconciled?  The quality of the important relationships in our lives can fall easily in jeopardy, facing the challenges of the year 2020.

For starters, no one has ever convinced his friend to change their mind about one political idea or candidate, by preaching on social media. Even the most avid politico followers are getting media-weary.

I have to believe that my friends…  even those from the mostly opposite side of the political spectrum…  are good people with honest intentions. I trust that they want things to get better, just as I do. They want us to find a vaccine and/or cure for the COVID PLAGUE, for the economy to recover and for all our kids to be able to return to school. They want to go back to restaurants and attend public events. They want to hug their parents and grandkids.

Our disagreement, on some level, can be mitigated by a higher goal. This may be a good time to celebrate your friendships and that idea.

When an uncomfortable political subject comes up, ask questions. Just listen and don’t preach.

As much as you can stand it, avoid “CONFIRMATION BIAS.” Which is always a risk when all your news comes from the media and the people who think just as you do. (This one is especially hard for me. My blood pressure rises when I hear what I perceive as falsehoods from the other side and my instinct is to fight back.)

I read an article by a woman who seems to be really mentally healthy. She wrote about celebrating her life-time friendship with someone with whom she differed politically. (My own journey includes becoming open-minded enough to learn from her.)

She wrote, “We have discovered that we really want the same things; that we just think there are different ways to arrive at those things. So, we made a pact… we don’t approach any conversation with the intent of convincing the other — we simply try to learn and understand.

“Our “LOVE” remains intact when we acknowledge that it’s possible for there to be multiple truths in the room.”

Sometimes, I think that’s true.

Sometimes, though, it feels that a so-called “political discussion” between those who don’t agree, is more of a “personal values challenge.”


I’d like to be able to disagree with an idea, you, my friend, are behind, without standing in judgment of all parts of your life. I’d like you to do the same.


Political conversations are ostensibly about what’s best for the country, its people, and our common welfare. That sort of makes it at least sound possible to have such a talk.

An idea from another wise soul who values her friendships, reminds us that in the name of LOVE, when you are facing the world together, both you and your friend can talk about what you think, agree and disagree about, and feel safe doing it.

“From a safe position,” she wrote, “I might be able to change your opinions … at least on some subjects.” 

 Stay safe and connected.




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