The latest flurry of no-fake news about powerful men, brought down by inappropriate behavior, inspired this week’s blog.

Sexual harassment has toppled out of style with Harvey Weinstein’s accusers leading the canon-fire. I’m not exactly sure why this particular man’s creepy behavior caused the snowball effect; it does just seem like we have reached a “TIPPING POINT.”

 According to the dictionary, a “TIPPING POINT” is the point at which a series of small changes or incidents becomes significant enough to cause a larger, more important change.

 Could be that the infamous “Access Hollywood” video had something to do with it. Trump admitted being a sexual predator and then, shortly afterward, was elected president.

It was outrageous. Good men… and women, of course… from every party were also paying attention. Something about this was especially consciousness-raising.

The assaulted have come forth, most with little to gain except personal relief . The #ME TOO effort may finally be the “TIPPING POINT”.

Trump hasn’t apologized. Weinstein waffled his words. Moore’s words continue to be outrageous. The famous and the not-so famous, guilty to one degree or another, somehow felt or feel… entitled.


So given that some men have exercised their power franchise in abusive ways, is their anything they can do, now that they’ve been called out, to be forgiven?

Writer DANIELLA BERRIN has an amazing op ed piece in the NYT this week. She explores possible paths to redemption for admitted abusers.

An apology, she says, needs to provide evidence of personal transformation. She credits Judiaism with the template to accomplish this. The lessons are for everyone; you don’t need to be Jewish.

Judiaism requires that a perpetrator, asking for forgiveness, should seek to return to the best part of himself/herself. The first step would be to take a personal accounting.

It is written that sins between people can only be forgiven by those who have been hurt.

Looking for redemption? You must ask for forgiveness directly from your victims… and in a way that resonates. You must be prepared to ask three times… knowing that sometimes that won’t even work.

 if your remorse is sincere, though, your apology can have value for you anyway. You can change your life to demonstrate your better self and reach out in some way to make this a safer world.


Raise money for a cause. Donate proceeds from a fruit of your own labor. Become a spokesperson for a safer environment for all people.

All religions remind us that all people who have hurt others can make up for it… at least in part… through charitable acts.

Ms. Berrin poo poos thinking about this notion as an empty act of cynicism. “Such actions,” she says, “might reap significant dollars for worthy organizations. That’s good,” she says.

If you are guilty and refuse to apologize correctly because you are too embarrassed to re-visit your transgression and/or because you hope the bad feelings will just disappear…shame on you.









  1. New actions must mimic words.
  2. Minimizing the consequences. (“It was just a joke!”) is the ultimate diss.
  3. Justifying words or behavior and blaming victims sounds like the opposite of remorse.



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