If you are single, chances are you made your last so-called “connection,” “on line”.

Two out of every five single people aged 24 – 50 currently use, or have used an online dating service. Yes, you read that correctly – it’s 40%!

Those older than 50 are not immune to itching for a love-connection either.  If they are willing to own up to their age, they search within their very own “silver -single sites”.

 One COVID INTERNET DATING CHALLENGE is to keep an internet conversation interesting, with no contact in real life. Not easy.


                            1. “BREAD-CRUMBING”

According to the experts, “BREAD-CRUMBING” is the act of sending  flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. “breadcrumbs”) on-line, in order to lure a romantic partner in . In other words, it’s leading someone on.

Why would anyone bother if there is never any intention to go further?

A pre-pandemic answer might have been that your “pursuer” …

1  … was not really available. (as in “married” or something like it).

2…. decided what he/she needed was a safe “ego-boost” and doesn’t think much about how that may be at your expense.

3.  … is an absolute narcissist who makes a game out of manipulating others.


The pandemic has created a t least one new and more forgivable possibility.

                                                                     THINK ABOUT THIS

While it is never nice to manipulate others for your own gratification, relying on social media for communication does call for a new kind of creativity… even if you are seriously interested in finding a mate.

It can be tempting for an otherwise nice person, to fall into this “BREAD-CRUMBING”trap. Most people do not have experience with being entertaining on line for inordinate amounts of time.

Regardless of their motive, you’ll recognize a “BREAD-CRUMBER” by his/her inconsistency, her unpredictability and/or his/her unwillingness to respond to a message as promised.

Pandemic or not, you deserve someone who is willing to give you the same amount of attention you are willing to invest in yourself.

TAKE ACTION: Call him out and then return to the things you love to do. Boost your own self-esteem. You job is to set the example about how others should treat you… to yourself and to the others.

Your “BREAD-CRUMBER”, if he/she is even worth thinking about, might take a lesson or two from your reaction.

He may even be motivated to apologize and try again.

                                2. “LOVE-BOMBING”

Stuck at home, alone and lonely can get really old. A year of isolation can also drive some otherwise normal people to do outrageous things. Cyber-stalking qualifies as “LOVE BOMBING.”

“LOVE BOMBING” IS THE OPPOSITE OF “BREAD-CRUMBING.”  The term is not new. There are reports that it was first coined by a religious cult in the 70’s. Leaders jumped on followers with extraordinary adoration and attention, for their own personal gain.

Today, talking about “LOVE-BOMBING” has come back in boundary-crushing style during our pandemic.

“LOVE-BOMBERS” come on strong. At first, their attention may feel flattering and more than welcome especially during enforced isolation.

Then, you may feel uncomfortable with the way your “LOVE-BOMBER” seems to be invading your life. They want to isolate  you away from all others.

                                                                                        THINK ABOUT THIS

 Trust your intuition. The object of “LOVE-BOMBING” and obsessive attention has less to do with true affection than with unhealthy control.  Pandemic or not, no one needs a stalker in their life.

Whenever you could benefit from an emotional pick-me-up or a back-board, I’m available for intimate zoom ops, home and/or office visits.

Stay safe and be resilient.

Dr. Linda

(949)244 4074


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