Happiness

WHAT LOVE MEANS NOW

December 1, 2021Happiness

When you become a Senior, “LOVE” will pretty much mean what it always has meant…. with a few additions and accommodations. The challenge of SELF-LOVE, still has to come first. A new widow told me, during a therapy session, that she had forgotten who she was. “I can’t even remember what I liked to do […]

JOY’S LEGACY LIVES ON… WITH KINDNESS

May 27, 2017A TRIBUTE TO JOY

KINDNESS, LIKE HAPPINESS AND LOVE, IS LIKE THE SUNSHINE…. there really is ENOUGH TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYONE. In my last blog, I celebrated the short, but wonderful life of my daughter-in-law Joy, from whom I learned so much about emotional generosity. So many of you responded. “How can I improve?” It sounds like a […]

MORE IMPORTANT TO BE KIND OR HAPPY?

February 25, 2017BULLIES

Just ask the GIRL SCOUTS: Turns out it’s more important to be kind than to be happy! At least, we know, that being “kind” is more likely to come first. Research suggests that caring, respectful and responsible adults are the ones who live the happiest and most successful lives … and even make the most […]

THOUGHTS AT THANKSGIVING

November 21, 2016giving thanks

Medical doctors do not enjoy the flu season. Now, a demoralizing election cycle has left so many people unhappy enough to seek psychological help for their pessimism about the future of our country. Psychologists are not pleased about this. I try to remain hopeful, though. This is a democracy after all. The things that bind […]

WHEN FRIENDS DIVORCE

August 14, 2016"fractured families

When “Betsy” came in for her first appointment, she wore big sunglasses to hide her bigger tears. She finally composed herself enough to explain that her friends “Meg” and “Rory” were getting divorced. It is always hard to watch people you care about, in pain, I said. “THEY’RE NOT IN PAIN… I AM,” SHE SAID. […]

AT VERY LEAST… BUY A LOTTERY TICKET

June 4, 2016Blog

Forget about your age… I’d bet you have a dream. Everyone sort-of has one. What’s yours? Once you’ve identified it, you already know that magic wands rarely work and that to even give it a shot, you are going to need a really good road map. I was reminded again how enriching it is to […]

THE “NARCISSIST” IN YOUR LIFE

May 6, 2016angry spouse

TRUMP aside, surely you know… or love… someone who you’d describe as cocky, arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding? Your mom may have told you that the bully-kid on the school playground… the one who bugged you… was just insecure and didn’t even believe his own bravado. Turns out, your mom was wrong. That bully, a […]

LOVERS, FRIENDS AND NASTY SHOUT-OUTS

April 22, 2016"cracked" communication

At a point of anger, have you ever out and accused your spouse, or someone else close to you, of “MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING?” Have you ever blown off a loved one, with a sarcastic, “GOOD LUCK,” to mean, that there would be nothing short of miracle that will make whatever he/she […]

UN-SPOIL YOUR KIDS

April 9, 2016"fractured families

I’ve dared to imply that over-indulged children may end up causing grief for other family members, as well as for themselves. In my mailbox were letters from so many parents. Perhaps it was the term, “AFFLUENZA,” which attracted the attention. “Affluenza” is NOT a mental condition, at least, not yet. Never the less, it has […]

ROACHES, REVENGE… AND QUIRKY ROMANTIC MOVIES

February 12, 2016BRONX ZOO VALENTINE IDEA

You know, and so does she, that it’s a “Hallmark Holiday,” but when you love somebody, you probably pay attention to “VALENTINES DAY.” You don’t need this love doctor to tell you that it’s a good idea to give in to some romantic gesture. “I’ve included some quirky movie-picks which may inspire romance… but first: […]

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

January 28, 2016Blog

Know any “SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW” people? You know who I mean…. those OPTIMISTIC souls, who like “Annie,” somehow manage to be happy anyway, even when things don’t seem to be going so well. Try not to hate them. Instead… learn from them. Remember how everyone loved “Annie”? When life throws you a few […]

JANUARY: “BREAK-UP” MONTH

January 17, 2016angry spouse

“Nicole” waited until January to ask her husband “Jason” for a divorce. “Nicole” is not alone… January is famous for being “BREAK-UP” month. Ask any family law attorney and you’ll hear about how calendars fill up after the holidays. Same for marriage counselors, psychologists and love-doctors. The couples we see, though, are usually still open […]

FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS

November 22, 2015Commitment

At it’s best, Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate family and love. It is also a time to remember and salute, those who are no longer with us, and on whose shoulders we stand. Today, I bow to my creative mom. She was a poet, of sorts, with not much of a filter and was […]

“I’M SORRY”

November 10, 2015apology

You did something wrong, for sure… and you really are sorry. Perhaps you’ve gossiped without knowledge, broke a confidence, let somebody down, or acted selfishly. Maybe you’ve broken a promise. Not to worry; everyone’s been guilty. But for now what you want, is for whatever you did to go on automatic re-wind… and quickly. To […]

BONDING IN THE BERKSHIRES

October 25, 2015BALANCE

It took too many hours to get from Orange County, California to Canyon Ranch, Lenox, but it was worth it. The leaves had turned to the most wonderful colors. The weather was cold and crisp with sunny skies. The hotel/spa grounds are magnificent, decorated with good art from local artists. The activities, indulgences and side […]

A “BRUIN” IN BALANCE

October 11, 2015BALANCE

My sister’s hubby, a loyal BRUIN, was one of my favorite people. Not because he’s bowled a 300 game. Never mind that he was professionally successful, adored by his family, proficient in most sports, maker of the best margaritas. He was a guy who knew how to be a good friend and how to have […]

A FIRE ISLAND ESCAPE

September 23, 2015Blog

We wondered, my husband and I, what it must be like for our friends to live in Dallas, Texas, as gay democrats. Paul and Jack lived together in a suburban neighborhood, which seemed to to us, to wreak of quintessential conservatism. […]

EVERYONE HAS “EROGENOUS” ZONES

September 11, 2015Blog

The book Dr.Wayne Dyer wrote in the 70’s, had nothing to do with sex. Look fast and “ERRONEOUS” could READ, “EROGENOUS.” The title is what sold this book… at least initially. Dr .WAYNE DYER tricked us into paying attention. His book had absolutely nothing to do with sex. And then… we discovered that it […]

CHEAPER THAN THERAPY

August 22, 2015Blog

Do you feel ignored by your wife? Do you feel like a nuisance around her? Perhaps your relationship has hit a giant snag? In case you haven’t noticed, romance busters are everywhere. Kid-problems and managing extended family relationships don’t inspire much passion. Perhaps, there are money challenges. Or maybe your issues have to do with […]

Her “Dr. Zhivago” Guy on Tinder

August 9, 2015Blog

August 9, 2015 Click on the green heart if you like how she looks… to the red “X” if you’re not interested. “Tinder,” the electronic dating app makes it so easy to find your soul mate… or someone you’d like to hang out with, anyway “Tricia” swooned when she looked at “Cameron’s” photo. “He looks […]

Learning Manners From a New Yorker?

July 12, 2015Blog

July 12, 2015 I couldn’t wait to share my city of origin with my seven-year-old grandson. Aidan with his giant back-pack, rolled his suitcase into our hotel in New York City, to begin our wonderful adventure. It was just the two of us. Which meant, of course, he needed to be in charge of some […]

“Nice” Guys Have More Sex

June 7, 2015Blog

June 7, 2015 When’s the last time you winked at your spouse across the room? Or thanked him/her for all the things he does for you? Those would be really nice things to do. For marital happiness, I believe being “nice” is even more important than knowing the right way to “listen” and to communicate. […]

From Brooklyn… Armed With Love

April 19, 2015Blog

April 19, 2015 Sunset. Gorgeous yachts. Paddle-boarders with long blond hair. Electric boats carrying waving children. Friends drinking wine, laughing, waving back. It all seemed surreal. How did I get here… this sort-of poor kid from Brooklyn? Do you ever think about things like that? I don’t, very often, but I did the other gorgeous […]

“WOOP” It Up In 2015

December 29, 2014Blog

December 29, 2014 Do you “wish” some part of your life were different? Around the turn of a new year, most of us at least, think about, thinking about these kinds of things. Unless you believe in magic, you also know that you are going to have to do something different if you want things […]

*** “I’m The Boss of Me”

November 19, 2014Blog

November 19, 2014 SPOILER ALERT: People spend almost half of the time they are awake thinking about something other than what they are doing … and how often their mind drifts, is predictive of how happy or unhappy they are. No kidding. There is scientific research to support the notion that “mind-wandering” is a mood […]

Love and Hope in New York City

October 3, 2014Blog

October 3, 2014 My credentials as a love doctor are stretched on every trip I make to New York. I’ve often been accused of having a love affair with this city, my original “hood.” There are lots people here who look, sound and dress like me. I see a reflection of myself everywhere. Can you […]

Awe-Struck By Judy Blume, Shopping and “Hands-Up” Generosity

July 20, 2014Blog

July 20, 2014 I was in Santa Fe New Mexico to go shopping. Don’t smirk. The once a year International Folk Art Market gives enthusiasts like me a chance to feel good about spending money and I wasn’t alone. There were thousands of other visitors doing the same thing. An “Alliance” in Santa Fe takes […]

What Happy People Don’t Do

May 23, 2014Blog

May 23, 2014 We look in awe at people who seem to be really happy. Are they messing with us? Not always. Some people know how to be happy and we can just wonder how they do that. Don’t hate them… learn from them. Happy people know how to laugh and relish a moment. They […]

The Best City For Love: Paris? New York?

April 28, 2014Blog

April 28, 2014 Paris is the city of LOVE; I’m sure you’ve also read that somewhere. Paris is beautiful and inspiring … lovers can do well when they share the experience of what it has to offer. For me, when it comes to LOVE, however, New York is still the real deal. One sunny but […]

New York, Salvation Army Ladies and Phony Weddings in Paris

December 8, 2013Blog

December 8, 2013 I’m on an airplane, on the way home from New York. Yes, again. The pull to spend time in my hometown remains persistent. For me, it is energizing to pound the pavement… beats a treadmill any day. I always expect something wonderful to happen. Sometimes it does. The Christmas windows at Bergdorf, […]

“Thanksgivukah”

November 30, 2013Blog

November 30, 2013 Jews celebrated Thanksgiving and Hanukah together this year. The Hebrew calendar just worked out that way. The second night of Hanukkah was dubbed, “Thanksgivakah” . At first, it all sounded too weird to think about. Especially since it has never happened before in my lifetime and is not about to happen again […]

New York and Nude Models… With New Eyes

September 21, 2013Blog

September 21, 2013 Nude models… a young man and a young woman… a quartet playing soft background music, forty or so artists and some wannabees, sketching, a bar, snacks for sale and the most exquisite, illustrative art on the walls. A perfect New York experience. As a former New Yorker who can still fake it, […]

Coming of Age… Sort of

August 22, 2013Blog

August 22, 2013 I was at the senior center, about to start a zumba dancing class and I had palpitations in the parking lot. The last time I had taken a dancing class, I cried… I was five years old and I made my mother promise me that I would never have to go back. […]

My Love Affair With a Store

January 25, 2013Blog

January 25, 2014 My name is Linda and I am a Loehmann’s junkie, now in a forced recovery. Loehmann’s is going out of business. For the uninitiated, Loehmann’s, has been a national chain of discount stores, specializing in high fashion at reduced prices. High fashion is in my blood. Scoring a find with a good […]

Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding

July 7, 2012Blog

July 7, 2012 Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding – Never mind the current best-selling trilogy of “mommy porn” fiction which I talked about in my last entry. (Click here on “Fifty Shades of Gray” to check it out.) I’m saying that if you really want to keep love hot, “bondage” doesn’t work. […]

Victory Lap Time

January 29, 2012Blog

January 29, 2012 Victory Lap Time – Unlike Betty White, I’m not quite old enough to brag about my age but I’ve decided that fifty years of marriage is worthy cause for celebration. Our kids apparently thought so too. I admit all this celebrating makes me a little uncomfortable. People whose pictures I see in […]

Feeling Invisible in your Own Home

October 31, 2011Blog

October 31, 2011 “Old George” and His Wife in a State of “Irritated Retreat” – Husbands and wives continue to complain about feeling invisible in their own homes. If a guest comes to your door, you are likely to greet him or her with a hug or at least with a smile. You might offer […]

Being Nice is Not Good Enough

January 3, 2011Blog

January 3, 2011 Being Nice is Not Good Enough – Pity the woman who marries a man thinking she can sculpt him in a direction in which he doesn’t want to go. Pity the man who marries a girl, hoping she will never change and stay cast in stone, except when she’s in bed, of […]

Optimism Intact

December 23, 2010Blog

December 23, 2010 Optimism Intact – I’m a morning person. I wake up every day, okay almost every day, full of hope. I like to think I don’t exactly sit around waiting; I’ve lived long enough to know better. I work hard at my optimism. Now, just like you, I face a new year and […]

RX For Making Friends

November 2, 2010Blog

November 2, 2010 What Really Makes You Happy? – “Mark,” 43, a usually successful man, had always identified himself as a “happy introvert.” Now, in an economic crisis, he has begun to re-think his need for others. He says he really needs a friend and that his wife is no help because she is too […]

What Really Makes You Happy?

October 16, 2010Blog

October 16, 2010 What Really Makes You Happy? – Some scrooge-like outliers seem to get off on never finding peace or joy in anything or anybody. That seems to make them as happy as they are capable of being. Most everyone else searches for another way. Does being married make you happy? If you’re in […]

When Harry Met Sally

July 25, 2010Blog

July 25, 2010 When Harry Met Sally, they disagreed. Harry said that men and women could never really be “friends” because sex always gets in the way. Sally was outraged. “I’ve always had men friends,” she insisted. What’s behind Harry’s thinking? Harry would say that it all depends on what you mean by friendship. Certainly […]

Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist

May 3, 2010Blog

May 3, 2010 Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist – A Chinese lady… a lovely, thin gentle Chinese woman gave me a gift today. It was carefully wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of […]

March Madness and Marriage

March 25, 2009Blog

March 25, 2009 March Madness and Marriage – The basketball frenzy of “March Madness” will go on for another weekend. Most men and some women will indulge, at the expense of other things, like their relationship with less-interested-in-such-things spouses. “I could lay down, nude, in front of the TV this week, and he wouldn’t notice,” […]

Learning About Love From an Old Friend

January 19, 2009Blog

January 19, 2009 Learning About Love From an Old Friend – An old friend gave himself a birthday party this weekend, It was a celebration of love and accomplishment. At the risk of sounding sentimental and icky, I was happy to be included and I’ll admit it… I cried. He and his wife have remained […]

The Two Wolves Inside of Us

November 1, 2008Blog

November 1, 2008 The Two Wolves Inside of Us I’ve had this profound incredible love experience! When my grandson Aidan was born six months ago, I learned about still another kind of ecstasy; I thought I had that part of my life covered until I hugged that child. Love… romantic or parental … comes with […]

‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged

October 21, 2008Blog

October 21, 2008 ‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged – News Flash: How much you suffer from these unsettling times depends not only on the value of your portfolio. Real survivors are those who are insulated by things, other than financial! I know a man I’ll call, “John Doe.” Along with the rest of us, John […]

Re-Union

June 30, 2008Blog

June 30, 2008 There was a girl I didn’t recognize in a flare pink flare skirt with a poodle on it, who seemed to love when the rock and roll music started. Another man showed off in our school colors, with orange and blue tennis shoes. We all wore nametags with pictures of ourselves at […]

Welcome Me To The Electronic Age

May 25, 2008Blog

May 25, 2008 – Welcome me to the electronic age! Writing a blog is like having a few shots of mental botox… it makes me feel young, I’ll try to keep this interesting enough for you to check in from time to time. Thank you for listening… or whatever you call it.

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