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Being Nice is Not Good Enough – Pity the woman who marries a man thinking she can sculpt him in a direction in which he doesn’t want to go. Pity the man who marries a girl, hoping she will never change and stay cast in stone, except when she’s in bed, of course.

I read about the “Michelangelo effect” on love partnerships in this Sunday’s New York Times. It’s no surprise to me that the researchers found that the happiest people, are those whose partners support their dreams.

Just as a sculptor chisels and polishes away flaws in stone, a wise lover recognizes and celebrates the potential in his/her significant other. Like Michelangelo.

It’s not enough to just be nice to your spouse. That will only get you mediocre results.

You’re not mediocre, are you?

To achieve the “wow” relationship, you say you want, you have to celebrate your partner’s “ideal self.” The one she’s designed. The one she aspires to. There may be a few other things involved, but that’s what it takes, according to this research. First step would be to pay a little attention.

Everyone wants to be better at something. Right? Find out what it is that she dreams about. Better yet, help her design her dream.

It works the other way around, of course. In a really good monogamous relationships, one plus one can still equal three. It’s a win-win-win.

If it’s your lover who is helping you to achieve your ideal, oh how you’ll adore him.

And if he knows you’re on his team as a pinch hitter and/or even as his lead cheerleader, there may be a very sexy payoff.


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