“It doesn’t feel like “RE-BOUND” insisted “Brett,” in palpable pain.

His sister, in whom he confides, calls his behavior “outrageous.” So do his parents and his best friend, “Marc.”

Brett is afraid to trust his instincts. He met “Chelsea,” just three weeks after “Marie,” his girlfriend of three years dumped him.

No one in Brett’s life has met Chelsea, but they all agree (from looking at his selfies) that Chelsea looks a lot like Marie.  Both women are PR professionals with long brown hair, who enjoy the outdoors.

He says he met his “new love” at a “meet-up” organized hike. It was his sister who had convinced him to “get back in the game” and suggested the “meet-up” as an antidote for his depression.

Nobody in Brett’s life, though, expected that he would fall so hard for the first woman who seemed interested.

“Maybe I just got lucky,” he insists.

Best friend Marc shook his head and warned “Not a good idea to just change cars and continue the trip… Slow down, bro…. at least let me meet her.

Brett declined to make the intro. He said he wasn’t ready… didn’t want his “bubble burst by anyone.”

Marc asked about Chelsea’s family. It became clear Brett didn’t know much.

“I only met her two weeks ago,” he said.

He found his way to my office. (In case you are wondering, he didn’t tell Chelsea about this visit.)

“I can’t think about anything else but her. I hardly know her … but can’t this be love?

All relationships have a beginning, Brett.  No question that you have fallen hard for Chelsea.

GIVEN HIS  INTOXICATION, WOULD YOU BE CAPABLE OF SEPARATING LUST FROM LOVE?

Is this a classic case of REBOUND?

Is it “LUST?”

Is it “LOVE.”

 

Those coming out of a long-term relationship are often extra-vulnerable to making poor decisions based on clouded emotions. LUST can obliterate common sense in even the most sensible people.

“I feel like my brain is on drugs,” he said.

Very perceptive of you Brett. If we took a picture of your brain… today… in its heightened state of lusty excitement, it would look something like a brain on drugs.

“No kidding?”

No kidding.

I was flattered that he chose to use me as a backboard and as a coach to sort through his feelings.

We talked about LOVE and what that meant to him. I added some of my acquired LOVE DOCTOR “wisdom.”

Together, we brainstormed:

 LOVE, we decided:

  1. includes a desire for connection. You can’t wait to introduce your new partner to your favorite people and to include her/him in your life.
  2. includes shared intimacies… beyond sex. True lovers share talk about things that really matter.
  3. includes sharing dreams and expectations.
  4. includes problem solving about what it takes to conjoin lives.

Brett and Chelsea may very well end up together. Their chemistry is on fire, which bodes well for them.

The questions, however,  remain:

1.Does the source of the fireworks come from the normal , new- relationship idealization?

2. Once they know each other better, will their interest sustain?

  THE TAKE-AWAY:


Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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