ANGER, in and of itself, is not all bad.  It may not even have everything to do with the nasty issue of the moment.

When you feel out of control angry, it may also be because of some  personal  insecurity, such as feeling unloved, l misunderstood or disrespected.



 Because chronic explosive anger has serious consequences for  your state of mind,  your relationships… and your health even when you know you are right.

 Have you also noticed that when you are angry and you want to soothe your rage, you are likely to crave sweets?

 During our pandemic challenge, most everybody, except for the those who are most disciplined, seem to have a short fuse and an expanding waistline.

Time to think about the benefits of switching to some “IMAGINARY CUPCAKES” to ease the hurt of whatever is making you feel angry. (I hope your loved ones are paying attention.)

For now, though, just concentrate on yourself.  A few “NOT-BLOWING-YOUR-FUSE” lessons from the experts is good for everybody…useful even when you are absolutely sure your anger is justified,

Take a deep breath and think about what’s behind your anger:

  1. Has the idea of compromise been a problem for you in the past?
  2. Did you learn from your family of origin that he/ she who hollered the loudest, got their way?
  3. Do you think of yourself as a control-freak?
  4. Are you open to the idea that your way is not the only way?

If you’ve owned up to even some share of the responsibility in seeking potential change, you’ve made a great start.

Now, pay attention to how the anger feels in your body. You will be more likely to stay in control if you recognize the physical signals your body sends:


  1. Are you shaky??
  2. Is your chest tight
  3. Are you feeling anxious, or losing your sense of humor?
  4. Are you aware of being overly-critical of someone?
  5. Are you ready to fight?

When you first feel the physical anger mounting, try keeping quiet long enough to count, say, to 100.

If nothing else, pausing your emotions, for as long as it takes to count to 100, will prevent most serious non-productive blow-outs.

                                                                        THINK ABOUT THIS

                                   NO ONE EVER REALLY SOLVED ANYTHING IN A FIT OF RAGE.

 One Dad I counseled, told me, with a smile, about how whenever his anger appeared to be escalating, his kids would appeal to their Mom to : “WALK THE DAD”.  (That was instead of “WALKING THE DOG.”)

“It broke the tension every time,” he said.

Try meditating. In your mind’s eye, use your five senses to re-ground yourself. Before you blow up and do or say something you may regret, picture yourself in a favorite place, experiencing the world through sight sound, touch, smell and taste.

Finally, calmed down, reassess the situation. How important is your relationship with the person you are angry with? Really important? Keep that in mind as you look for solutions.

Next time, I’ll talk about how to deal with anger from loved one… that is what to do when they get angry with you.  And about useful gifts of “IMAGINARY CUPCAKES”.

One does not have to be sick to get better.

In these trying times, If you could benefit from an emotional pick-me-up, I provide intimate Zoom opportunities, home and office visits designed to help.

Your flattering, inspiring and generous words are my “IMAGINARY CUPCAKES”.

Thank you,

Dr. Linda    949-244 4074

Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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