More likely than ever, given COVID, too much togetherness / not enough socialization, and now permission to spread our collective wings, someone you love may be struggling to regulate his or her emotions.

Interesting how so many of us are having so much trouble getting back to what we thought of as “normal.” It’s easy to get “stuck” or sort-of-stuck in feelings of depression, anxiety, inactivity, weight gain, impulsiveness, loss of mood control and/or substance abuse.

If you have remained at least somewhat saner than those around you, CONGRATULATONS.

Your challenge … a bobby prize perhaps… is that you now face the challenge of coping with those you care about and who haven’t been quite so lucky.


  1. To continue loving your person without loving his disordered behavior.
  2. To continue to love yourself and not feel like her victim or martyr.


  1. Remember that hollering back at someone who is hollering at you is like throwing gasoline on a fire. (I read that somewhere in one of my psychology books.) Don’t do it.
  2. Learn to zip it up and listen. Being willing to listen is a gift… which is especially hard to do when you are being unjustly attacked.
  3. Say to yourself, “Self, this person is struggling and you want to help her or him. I am coming from love.”

      4.Think to yourself, “I will not provoke… I will not be provoked.” (This one has gotten me out of a lot of trouble.)

5.If you feel like you are losing control, leave the situation, but not before informing your special person that you will return and work this all out at a later time when you both are in control. (Not easy to do… but so worth it.)

       6. Make your boundaries clear. What is it that you absolutely will not tolerate? Encourage your loved one to seek out professional health to help hm or her set their own limits.

7. When they are calm and willing to lovingly engage, ask what you can do which helps them most when they fly off the charts.

        8. If you want your loved one to be empathetic, you must be empathetic too. You are not available to be abused emotionally or physically. No one can be there for anyone 100% of the time. Establish wiggle room for compromise.

9. No magic is necessary. In fact, if you think you can rely on magical thinking to keep your partner in line, neither one of you will ever get it right.

In the name of LOVE, be kind and forgiving. This too, shall pass.




Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Linda T.June 28, 2021 at 8:51 am

Thank you for your thoughts and writings. This is an excellent reminder and guide to loving behavior. 💝
Linda T


Sheila CalderonJune 28, 2021 at 10:44 am

Thank you Linda. Really appreciate your suggestions on what not to do to respond to bad behavior. Sometimes very hard but will keep your thoughts in my heart.


hy ALGAZIJuly 3, 2021 at 5:04 pm



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