Friendship

WHEN POLITICS INTERFERES WITH “LOVE”

August 17, 2020Friendship

Politics is an adversarial game. For the most part, it is an ugly “game” and watching too much TV, I’ve decided, Is not good for mental health. At east it’s not good for mine. Friendship and family, on the other hand, depend on LOVE and connection. Can these two ideas be reconciled? The quality of […]

SAFETY PIN FOR THE NEW YEAR

December 22, 2016BULLIES

My friend, Margie sent me a safety pin as a gift. What is this for? I asked. “Just a reminder to be nice…. a symbol that you stand with those who are most vulnerable. “It’s a declaration of sorts,” she continued. “A way of showing that if in spite of the upsurge of what seems […]

REAL FRIENDS SHOW UP

December 9, 2016Commitment

Joy’s friends have supported her during her physical challenges this year. She is my daughter-in-law and I am in awe of her and of her and of community of people who have stepped up to help. Look around in your own life to see who it is you trust most. Who are your friends ? […]

WHEN FRIENDS DIVORCE

August 14, 2016"fractured families

When “Betsy” came in for her first appointment, she wore big sunglasses to hide her bigger tears. She finally composed herself enough to explain that her friends “Meg” and “Rory” were getting divorced. It is always hard to watch people you care about, in pain, I said. “THEY’RE NOT IN PAIN… I AM,” SHE SAID. […]

HOARDING: PART TWO

July 15, 2016Algazi Family Counselig

“Lisa” said she was appalled when she showed up, uninvited, to her friend “Marie’s” home and could barely get through the door. She hadn’t been there for a while. My last post was Part One of this series. You can read it by clicking here on <HOARDER OR COLLECTOR>. “Stuff was everywhere, and Marie was […]

THE FIFTH GRADE BULLY… AND YOU

February 28, 20165TH GRADE ANGST

I heard a man talking about his fifth grade “HERO” during a “MOTH RADIO HOUR.” If you also felt that you were out-of-step with what you imagined you were supposed to be thinking or feeling, you’ll appreciate this story. I’ve written before, about my fifth grade nemesis… the “BULLY.” This time, I won’t use her […]

“I’M SORRY”

November 10, 2015apology

You did something wrong, for sure… and you really are sorry. Perhaps you’ve gossiped without knowledge, broke a confidence, let somebody down, or acted selfishly. Maybe you’ve broken a promise. Not to worry; everyone’s been guilty. But for now what you want, is for whatever you did to go on automatic re-wind… and quickly. To […]

BONDING IN THE BERKSHIRES

October 25, 2015BALANCE

It took too many hours to get from Orange County, California to Canyon Ranch, Lenox, but it was worth it. The leaves had turned to the most wonderful colors. The weather was cold and crisp with sunny skies. The hotel/spa grounds are magnificent, decorated with good art from local artists. The activities, indulgences and side […]

A “BRUIN” IN BALANCE

October 11, 2015BALANCE

My sister’s hubby, a loyal BRUIN, was one of my favorite people. Not because he’s bowled a 300 game. Never mind that he was professionally successful, adored by his family, proficient in most sports, maker of the best margaritas. He was a guy who knew how to be a good friend and how to have […]

A FIRE ISLAND ESCAPE

September 23, 2015Blog

We wondered, my husband and I, what it must be like for our friends to live in Dallas, Texas, as gay democrats. Paul and Jack lived together in a suburban neighborhood, which seemed to to us, to wreak of quintessential conservatism. […]

EVERYONE HAS “EROGENOUS” ZONES

September 11, 2015Blog

The book Dr.Wayne Dyer wrote in the 70’s, had nothing to do with sex. Look fast and “ERRONEOUS” could READ, “EROGENOUS.” The title is what sold this book… at least initially. Dr .WAYNE DYER tricked us into paying attention. His book had absolutely nothing to do with sex. And then… we discovered that it […]

BFF’s on the Loose in Montreal

May 3, 2015Blog

May 3, 2015 Not exactly “golden,” we’re no match – at least these days, for Carrie Bradshaw and her friends, which really has nothing to do with anything. In puffy coats and woolen scarfs, we four BFF’s brought our Southern California weather to Montreal. It was even fun to smile and take credit for the […]

From Brooklyn… Armed With Love

April 19, 2015Blog

April 19, 2015 Sunset. Gorgeous yachts. Paddle-boarders with long blond hair. Electric boats carrying waving children. Friends drinking wine, laughing, waving back. It all seemed surreal. How did I get here… this sort-of poor kid from Brooklyn? Do you ever think about things like that? I don’t, very often, but I did the other gorgeous […]

“WOOP” It Up In 2015

December 29, 2014Blog

December 29, 2014 Do you “wish” some part of your life were different? Around the turn of a new year, most of us at least, think about, thinking about these kinds of things. Unless you believe in magic, you also know that you are going to have to do something different if you want things […]

Love and Hope in New York City

October 3, 2014Blog

October 3, 2014 My credentials as a love doctor are stretched on every trip I make to New York. I’ve often been accused of having a love affair with this city, my original “hood.” There are lots people here who look, sound and dress like me. I see a reflection of myself everywhere. Can you […]

Awe-Struck By Judy Blume, Shopping and “Hands-Up” Generosity

July 20, 2014Blog

July 20, 2014 I was in Santa Fe New Mexico to go shopping. Don’t smirk. The once a year International Folk Art Market gives enthusiasts like me a chance to feel good about spending money and I wasn’t alone. There were thousands of other visitors doing the same thing. An “Alliance” in Santa Fe takes […]

Friendship On Fire

June 8, 2014Blog

June 8, 2014 I was challenged by a man who considers himself an expert when it comes to all things, romantic. “I want to know, how you, the ‘Love Doctor, define “Romantic Love.” He wasn’t talking about “family love, or brotherly love, about institutional love, or of the unconditional love we feel for our offspring.” […]

The Best City For Love: Paris? New York?

April 28, 2014Blog

April 28, 2014 Paris is the city of LOVE; I’m sure you’ve also read that somewhere. Paris is beautiful and inspiring … lovers can do well when they share the experience of what it has to offer. For me, when it comes to LOVE, however, New York is still the real deal. One sunny but […]

New York, Salvation Army Ladies and Phony Weddings in Paris

December 8, 2013Blog

December 8, 2013 I’m on an airplane, on the way home from New York. Yes, again. The pull to spend time in my hometown remains persistent. For me, it is energizing to pound the pavement… beats a treadmill any day. I always expect something wonderful to happen. Sometimes it does. The Christmas windows at Bergdorf, […]

New York and Nude Models… With New Eyes

September 21, 2013Blog

September 21, 2013 Nude models… a young man and a young woman… a quartet playing soft background music, forty or so artists and some wannabees, sketching, a bar, snacks for sale and the most exquisite, illustrative art on the walls. A perfect New York experience. As a former New Yorker who can still fake it, […]

Delicious Cultural Differences

May 30, 2013Blog

May 30, 2013 A Chinese lady… a lovely, slender woman gave me a gift. It came wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of course.” Inside were 12 or so thin cookies wrapped in what looked like […]

Football, TV, Cell Phones or Me?

March 13, 2013Blog

March 13, 2013 Ladies: Ever hear of “Zeebox?” It’s an app which watches your TV shows, right along with you and offers the kind of chatter and gossip you may crave. Never will you get that kind of attention and companionship from your man. He’s not even interested in the shows you watch. Gentlemen: If […]

“Amour”… About Love and the End of Life

December 26, 2012Blog

December 26, 2012 “Amour”… About Love and the End of Life – I think a lot about “love,” even when it’s not the holidays. I read a about relationships and seek out movies about people who care about each other. You’d probably agree that this is a good thing for the “love-doctor” to do. So, […]

When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You

September 18, 2012Blog

September 18, 2012 When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You – It just seemed weird. To celebrate their eleventh anniversary, a couple I’ll call “Steve” and “Anne” had dinner alone. The restaurant was rated with four stars; the food was fine. Each of them made a special effort to look attractive and well dressed […]

Random Acts of Kindness

December 29, 2011Blog

December 29, 2011 Random Acts of Kindness – Seven out of ten pet owners bought their pets holiday gifts. It must be true because I read it on Facebook! I also read a story in the New York Times on Sunday, about a single mom and her teen age kids, all veterans of Christmas morning […]

“Travel Companion Wanted”

August 12, 2011Blog

August 12, 2011 “Travel Companion Wanted” – “SENIOR retired bachelor lawyer who has traveled to Paris every spring and fall for many years, seeks a traveling companion.” The large ad appeared in today’s Daily Pilot and it was enough to catch my attention as I scanned through local news. Don’t miss this story! The advertiser […]

RX For Making Friends

November 2, 2010Blog

November 2, 2010 What Really Makes You Happy? – “Mark,” 43, a usually successful man, had always identified himself as a “happy introvert.” Now, in an economic crisis, he has begun to re-think his need for others. He says he really needs a friend and that his wife is no help because she is too […]

When Harry Met Sally

July 25, 2010Blog

July 25, 2010 When Harry Met Sally, they disagreed. Harry said that men and women could never really be “friends” because sex always gets in the way. Sally was outraged. “I’ve always had men friends,” she insisted. What’s behind Harry’s thinking? Harry would say that it all depends on what you mean by friendship. Certainly […]

March Madness and Marriage

March 25, 2009Blog

March 25, 2009 March Madness and Marriage – The basketball frenzy of “March Madness” will go on for another weekend. Most men and some women will indulge, at the expense of other things, like their relationship with less-interested-in-such-things spouses. “I could lay down, nude, in front of the TV this week, and he wouldn’t notice,” […]

Can Friendship Betray Marriage?

December 14, 2008Blog

December 14, 2008 Can Friendship Betray Marriage? – Carol tells Betsy and Betsy tells Carol all the intimate details of their lives. All in the name of friendship. Carol insists – and so does Betsy — that her good mental health depends of this kind of sharing relationship. “Betsy accepts me just as I am,” […]

What Can We Learn From Jack at 85?

June 18, 2008Blog

June 18, 2008 I went to a birthday party for “the mayor” of my street… or maybe of the whole neighborhood. Jack, a retired pilot, has lived in the same house for 37 years. He turned 85 this week. His backyard was filled with well wishers, mariachis and waiters serving margaritas, burritos and other goodies. […]

Welcome Me To The Electronic Age

May 25, 2008Blog

May 25, 2008 – Welcome me to the electronic age! Writing a blog is like having a few shots of mental botox… it makes me feel young, I’ll try to keep this interesting enough for you to check in from time to time. Thank you for listening… or whatever you call it.