A SORT-OF REAL-LIFE “DR. HOUSE”

June 29, 2018"CHARM"

“Dr. Joe,”an emergency room doctor, was referred by the Chief of Staff in his hospital for his “un-charming” behavior toward other staff members. His excellent record with patients justified a last ditch effort to help him to keep his job. The report from the Chief stated,“not a week goes by without the doctor losing his […]

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THE “QUESTION” OF INTIMACY… WITH FRIENDS AND LOVERS

May 19, 2018"Questions" for intimacy

 If you are craving more intimacy with the people in your life… and you are failing miserably…  one problem may be that you are asking the wrong questions and/or asking them at the wrong time. .  GENERIC QUESTIONS, like  “How are you?”  or     “How ARE you?” or “How are YOU?” are intimacy-busters and are […]

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DO YOU MAKE “PLAY-DATES” FOR YOUR HUSBAND?

April 6, 2018"Play-dates" for your husband

  If you don’t actually make dates for your husband, I bet you’ve thought about it.  That is, of course, if you get annoyed… or at least concerned… about his lack of interest in staying in contact with those he insists are “friends.” “I don’t get it,” insists “Dana,” who has been married to ‘Brett’ […]

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HOW TO WIN FRIENDS… AND LOVERS

March 10, 2018Algazi Family Counselig

Eighty years ago Dale Carnegie’s book, “HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE” was published. Since, tens of millions of copies have been sold. As a new subscriber to AUDIBLE, I was re-introduced and delighted by the voice version of what was may be the first self-help book. (1934) Some would call his premise “manipulative”… […]

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DOES IT MATTER WHO YOU MARRY ANYWAY?

February 23, 2018Alain Botton

       IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU MARRY, according to philosopher Alain de Botton.  “If you like them at the beginning, you probably won’t like them at the end. And if you start off hating them, there’s always the chance you’ll end up thinking they’re all right.” IS HE A CYNIC? AN ANTI-ROMANCE KIND […]

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“MINDFULL” OR “MINDFUL”

January 12, 2018"PLAN" : NOT A BAD WORD

Making New Years Resolutions, at first thought, seems to be counter to the notion of mindfulness. “I don’t want a road map,” insisted forty-five year old “Josh. “For once, for now, at least, I want to throw away the road map… to just enjoy the moment. My wife doesn’t understand”. His wife, he said, was […]

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TRAUMATIZED? STOP THINKING SO MUCH

December 15, 2017Algazi Family Counselig

Just finished reading WAKING THE TIGER: HEALING TRAUMA, by PETER LEVINE, who reminds us that individuals are often traumatized by incidents that may not even have had any significant impact on others. Which does not make my “trauma”… or yours… any less traumatic. LEVINE teaches us how to be prepared for the inevitable glitches that […]

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“MARITAL TERMITES” … PART #2

August 31, 2017"cracked" communication

I stand dinged. So many of you wrote that my last blog ,  “WATCH OUT FOR MARITAL TERMITES,” was a tease. You said I stopped too soon and didn’t offer enough about how to “termite- proof” a relationship. So, here goes… If you wish, take a moment or two, right now, to think about the […]

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WATCH OUT FOR “MARITAL TERMITES”

August 16, 2017"TERMITING" YOUR RELATIONASHIP

 Ever hear of LINGCHI? I hadn’t either. It’s Chinese for “death by a thousand cuts,” the practice of which was outlawed, thankfully, in 1905.  ASK ANY LOVE DOCTOR. Marriages which fall apart, often do so, because of another a kind of LINGCHI. The culprits are a “thousand” little annoying “destroyers,” which can ultimately “termite” the […]

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LOVE, POLITICS AND VALENTINE FANTASIES

February 12, 2017"cracked" communication

In her photo, she was in a sexy ice suit, climbing the glaciers in Patagonia. He swiped to the right. They met with what felt like instant chemistry; It was just after Christmas. Sugarplum dreams danced in her head, thinking that this VALENTINE’S DAY, finally, would be special. Here was a girl, he thought, who […]

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COPING WITH RELATIONSHIP BREAK-UPS

January 5, 2017"fractured families

Since there is nothing like the high of a wonderful romance, when a relationship ends the fall from grace can feel catastrophic, even when it is ultimately for the best. Still, nobody likes giving up on a dream. Depending on how long you’ve been coupled, breaking up is much more than losing… or even dismissing… […]

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THE BAD, BAD “D” WORD

September 7, 2016"fractured families

 (Take note:  This  bad, bad  “D” word  has nothing to do with the “Donald.”) There are certain things you should NEVER SAY to your spouse who you claim to love most of the time, even when you are over-the-top angry.  NEVER SAY:  “Whatever” … with that, you know the one… dismissive look on your face. […]

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NEVER LIE… “BELIEVE ME!”

August 25, 2016"BELIEVE ME"

 EVERYONE LIES. In fact, there are times lies… kind, “white” lies… can even serve you well. Like when you wife or your friend asks if you look “fat” in some new outfit. Or when the lady in the super market asks, “How are you?” Chances are, she really doesn’t want to know. There are those, […]

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WHEN FRIENDS DIVORCE

August 14, 2016"fractured families

When “Betsy” came in for her first appointment, she wore big sunglasses to hide her bigger tears. She finally composed herself enough to explain that her friends “Meg” and “Rory” were getting divorced. It is always hard to watch people you care about, in pain, I said. “THEY’RE NOT IN PAIN… I AM,” SHE SAID. […]

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EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

July 30, 2016"cracked" communication

I bet you’ve known someone who was so needy that he or she seemed to want… no… demand… all of your attention. You felt tired, drained after almost every encounter.   You may have been… or are… the victim of an “EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE.”   These people can and will suck you dry, if you let them. If […]

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HOARDING: PART TWO

July 15, 2016Algazi Family Counselig

“Lisa” said she was appalled when she showed up, uninvited, to her friend “Marie’s” home and could barely get through the door. She hadn’t been there for a while. My last post was Part One of this series. You can read it by clicking here on <HOARDER OR COLLECTOR>. “Stuff was everywhere, and Marie was […]

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“HOARDER” OR “COLLECTOR”?

July 2, 2016Algazi Family Counselig

He, who looked like a weathered hippy with an infectious smile, helped the man I hired, the one with a big truck and a strong back, to unload my gift onto dollies. I was donating my entire psychology/love library, 2000 books or so, to the public library and I handed them over to the gentleman-volunteer […]

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