Who is in your “VILLAGE”?

I mean …who are the people you count on in your life… on who you can lean on in tough times and celebrate with in victory.

Who are the people you’d rescue, whatever their crisis?

I hope you will let them know how important they are to you.

The African proverb, “It takes a “VILLAGE” to raise a child” has universal support.

But, maybe you think, that now that you are grown-up and coupled-up,  like “Beth,” there is no for need a village.

“Beth’s husband “Kurt” was the one asking for change. The kind of “open – marriage’ he is calling for, has nothing to do with sex. He says he loves Beth as much as ever, but that he still needs other people in his life.

“Being alone with “Kurt” is all I need,” insisted the more introverted Beth. “Maybe he just doesn’t love me enough.”

A favorite friend, a clergyman, a wise man with a good message, once told me he believed that marriages and families are held together by the community which surrounds them.

The minister was “selling” church, for sure. (There are, in fact, some other ways to achieve “membership” in some “VILLAGE”; he knows that too.”)

The minister sort-of plagiarized from the philosopher, Aristotle, who said,  “nuclear households do not have the support they need to flourish and that families need to integrate with others to have the hands and feet they need to care for their own.”

THINK ABOUT THIS:

MARRIAGE,is one of the biggest challenges and one of the bravest things we can do in life.

It iis a lovingly entered joint-commitment to evolution, change… and compromise.” He proclaimed that shared experiences and goals move this evolution along.

Nothing stays the same. It’s simply easier for most couples to navigate through the predictable trials, ogrief, failure and money troubles, as well as the very real changes associated with aging. You know the times I’m talking about… when smiles are a cover-up and insta-gram photos are a sham.

It’s also nice to have a tribe… a  “VILLAGE” to celebrate with us when times are good.

No couple can do it all on their own. Happily when your “VILLAGE” steps up to help,  “VILLAGE”members also benefit from the collective support. There are always lessons to be learned for everyone.

Marriage evolution can be exciting, Beth.  It will serve you well to re-think and consider how best  to address Kurt’s concern. Good for him for speaking up and not allowing your differences to fester. It is clear he also values your presence in his life.

Not to worry… little changes can make a big difference and you don’t have to be sick or unhappy to get better

Who is in your “VILLAGE”?

I mean …who are the people you count on in your life… on who you can lean on in tough times and celebrate with in victory.

Who are the people you’d rescue, whatever their crisis?

I hope you will let them know how important they are to you.

We’ve all heard the African proverb, “It takes a “VILLAGE” to raise a child.”  Support for this concept is pretty much universal.

But, maybe you think, that now, since you are grown-up, like “Beth,” you say you don’t need a village.

“Beth’s husband “Kurt” was the one asking for change. The kind of “open – marriage’ he is calling for, has nothing to do with sex. He says he loves Beth as much as ever, but that he still needs other people in his life.

“Being alone with “Kurt” is all I need,” insisted the more introverted Beth. “Maybe he just doesn’t love me enough.”

A favorite friend, a clergyman, a wise man with a good message, once told me he believed that marriages and families are held together by the community which surrounds them.

The minister was “selling” church, for sure. (There are, in fact, some other ways to achieve “membership” in some “VILLAGE”; he knows that too.”)

The minister sort-of plagiarized from the philosopher, Aristotle, who said,  “nuclear households do not have the support they need to flourish and that families need to integrate with others to have the hands and feet they need to care for their own.”

THINK ABOUT THIS:

MARRIAGE,is one of the biggest challenges and one of the bravest things we can do in life.

It iis a lovingly entered joint-commitment to evolution, change… and compromise.” He proclaimed that shared experiences and goals move this evolution along.

Nothing stays the same. It’s simply easier for most couples to navigate through the predictable trials, ogrief, failure and money troubles, as well as the very real changes associated with aging. You know the times I’m talking about… when smiles are a cover-up and insta-gram photos are a sham.

It’s also nice to have a tribe… a  “VILLAGE” to celebrate with us when times are good.

No couple can do it all on their own. Happily when your “VILLAGE” steps up to help,  “VILLAGE”members also benefit from the collective support. There are always lessons to be learned for everyone.

Marriage evolution can be exciting, Beth.  It will serve you well to re-think and consider how best  to address Kurt’s concern. Good for him for speaking up and not allowing your differences to fester. It is clear he also values your presence in his life.

Not to worry… little changes can make a big difference and you don’t have to be sick or unhappy to get better.


Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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