drlinda

A GIFT FROM THE PAST IS HOPE FOR THE FUTURE

December 17, 2022Uncategorized

I received a wonderful gift today. A man named Paul, who I do not know, wrote me an e-mail.It seems that sometime in the late 80’s he had read my column in Newports’s DAILY PILOT. He said he had clipped it for reference and had followed my advice, writing a letter to each of his […]

CHANGE ANXIETY

August 25, 2022Uncategorized

Change of any kind is most often associated with ANXIETY. ‘(ANXIETY” is the feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.) My favorite four-year-old, who has been so excited to start pre-k in a new school this year, cried when her Mom left her off. I […]

COULD YOUR DRINKING BE A PROBLEM?

July 21, 2022alcoholism

“Dr. Brown” is a neuro-surgeon … a medical doctor who brags about being “on top” of his game. Today he is in my office. I ask him why he is here. “My wife has threatened divorce. She’s nagging me about my drinking. I swear, most of the time I drink BECAUSE she nags me. Then […]

FLATTERY, APPRECIATION… AND DALE CARNEGIE

June 2, 2022Uncategorized

DALE CARNEGIE WAS A VERY SUCCESSFUL AND WISE MAN, WHO RECOGNIZED THE IMPORTANCE AND VALUE OF JUST BEING “NICE.” Other industrial influencers, wise enough to learn from him, have spread his wisdom and used his book, “HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE,” in team-building sessions … and not only for the new-hires. Cynics may […]

LOVE AND LONGING

May 2, 2022"The effect" by lucy Prebble

Even if you are no longer young, It shouldn’t be too hard to imagine being, say, 19 or twenty- two… or at some other age where you’ve felt you have stalled. Call it a “gap year” which, by the way, seems like a viable choice these days given our covid challenges. I went to see […]

THE GOOD APOLOGY

April 20, 2022Uncategorized

This time it wasn’t just a little thing. Suppose your temper got the best of you and with JUST WORDS, you hurt the person you love most. Not uncommon. People are more likely to lose control around someone they can trust to forgive them. Most of us have had the experience. There’s wonderful old play […]

TEEN-AGE VALENTINES

February 21, 2022Love

WERE YOU EVER A TEEN-AGER IN LOVE? VALENTINE’S DAY has come and gone. Rather than posting, pre-holiday, I took some extra time to contemplate about romance, and about where it all begins: In-love feelings are even more difficult to manage at an age when bodies and brains are still maturing and at a rate not […]

‘THE ZEN OF THERAPY

January 24, 2022"THE ZEN OF THERAPY"

EVERYONE LIVES WITH STORIES ABOUT THEIR LIVES. EVERYONE CAN RECOUNT A DISAPPOINTMENT AND/ OR SOME KIND OF DEVASTATING LOSS. Happily, most everyone can also be pushed to recount a life-victory which motivated them to survive to wherever they are today. Therapists are often the keepers of all this info and story-telling. We are the virtual […]

“YOU HAD THE POWER ALL ALONG, MY DEAR”

January 3, 2022Uncategorized

GLINDA THE GOOD WITCH, the fictional character in “the Wonderful Wizard of Oz” and in the novel/ play, “Wicked,” is a wonderful LIFE COACH. LISTEN UP: She tells Dorothy, desperate to get back home to Kansas, that when someone finally recognizes their own power, everything changes. THE CLEAR MESSAGE FROM GLINDA: “YOU HAD THE POWER […]

WHAT LOVE MEANS NOW

December 1, 2021Happiness

When you become a Senior, “LOVE” will pretty much mean what it always has meant…. with a few additions and accommodations. The challenge of SELF-LOVE, still has to come first. A new widow told me, during a therapy session, that she had forgotten who she was. “I can’t even remember what I liked to do […]

HOW CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR KILLS LOVE

October 27, 2021controlling men

“I’ve had too many false love-starts,” said ‘Josh,’ 35. “Josh” is a tall, pleasant man, with a bright smile who looks like he takes good care of himself. Have you even consulted with a love-coach or a psychologist before? “No,” he said, looking away from me. “Doc,” I’m ready to get married… to the right […]

ADVICE YOU SHOULDN’T FOLLOW

September 7, 2021Love

If you are a female, chances are you mother gave you some lessons about how to get and keep a man. Or maybe you got your “LOVE INFO” from friends… or from a book. “THE RULES,” was first published in 1995 during a time when women …. and men were beginning to feel free from […]

GAG YOUR NAGGING

August 7, 2021Algazi Family Counselig

When you have a gripe with your significant other, it’s kind of normal to “NAG” You never mean to NAG exactly… you just want to feel heard by him or her, who you say you love. You want, whatever your message, to inspire the desired change in your partner. Some mornings, like today, “Amber” started […]

A POST-PANDEMIC LOVE ATTACK

July 24, 2021Uncategorized

While TRUE LOVE can get your creative juices flowing, you still have to make sure you aren’t just suffering from a “POST-PANDEMIC LOVE ATTACK.” “So, Doc,” ‘Brad’, my client asked, “How do I know if this is for real… We met three weeks ago and it sure feels real. It’s magical. But, how can I be […]

LOVE HIM … NOT HIS BEHAVOIR

June 28, 2021Algazi Family Counselig

More likely than ever, given COVID, too much togetherness / not enough socialization, and now permission to spread our collective wings, someone you love may be struggling to regulate his or her emotions. Interesting how so many of us are having so much trouble getting back to what we thought of as “normal.” It’s easy […]

ONE GENTLE ROAD TO HAPPINESS

June 17, 2021DR. MARTIN SELIGMAN

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY has been around for a long while, but it is hot right now and is based on the wonderful notion that you don’t have to be sick to get better. People often go to psychologists in search of some magic “POTION” or idea. I haven’t found one yet. Turns out that those who […]

PLUG ME IN: A FANTASY

May 20, 2021COMPETENCE AND CONNECTION

For me, most good days include some measure of these three things: A SENSE OF AUTONOMY A SENSE OF COMPETENCE A CONNECTION TO OTHERS I hate it when time contraints interfere with my autonomy need. Surely you understand that this one is the first to go. Whenever my autonomous need kicks in, my “FANTASY CRAVE” […]

THINK YOU NEED A DIVORCE TOO?

May 9, 2021Algazi Family Counselig

Bill and Melinda Gates are not the only ones who have decided to divorce during these trying times. As the threat of the virus lessens, the decision to move ahead with major life-changes, for better or worse, has risen to front and center. (Just for the record, I don’t view the Gates’s marriage as any […]

PANDEMIC ‘BREAD-CRUMBING” AND “LOVE-BOMBING”

April 17, 2021bread-crumbing

If you are single, chances are you made your last so-called “connection,” “on line”. Two out of every five single people aged 24 – 50 currently use, or have used an online dating service. Yes, you read that correctly – it’s 40%! Those older than 50 are not immune to itching for a love-connection either. […]

MORE ABOUT “IMAGINARY CUPCACKES

April 2, 2021IMAGINARY CUPCAKES" AND KEEPING YOUR COOL

Time to think about giving a gift of some of those “IMAGINARY CUPCAKES” to ease what is probably a hurt behind the anger or frustration of a loved one or a colleague. Last time I encouraged you to focus on your own emotions, and skip the temptation of quenching your own anger with empty calories. IMAGINARY […]

“NOT- BLOWING-YOUR-FUSE LESSONS FROM THE EXPERTS

March 20, 2021CONTROLLING YOUR OWN ANGE

THINK ABOUT THIS ANGER, in and of itself, is not all bad. It may not even have everything to do with the nasty issue of the […]

A VALENTINE’S FANTASY

February 11, 2021A VALENTINE'S FANTASY

Ladies… want to have some fun? I INVITE YOU TO CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK ABOUT THAT […]

NO RESOLUTIONS THIS YEAR???

January 16, 2021"PLAN" : NOT A BAD WORD

I have a friend who signed up for a zoom music appreciation class. What a great idea, I thought, especially through these difficult times. Music, he explained, is something he knows little about. The first session included examples of Gregorian chants, with religious roots. My friend is a spiritual man. No surprise to me that […]

THAT LAST UGLY ARGUMENT

December 28, 2020LOVE-DOCTOR TO THE OC

Remember that last argument you had with your spouse.? Do you remember? Really? Perhaps it turned into a shouting match… a LOVE DRAIN… like the one I identified last time. Perhaps … as is often the case… you don’t even remember what your fight was about. What you more likely to remember is how you […]

ENERGY DRAIN ON LOVE

December 7, 2020Uncategorized

IT MAY FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SAVING YOUR BELOVED FROM THE DEMONS IN YOUR HEAD… BUT WATCH OUT… ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE THINKING STRAIGHT? WITHHOLDING TOO MUCH CAN TURN OUT TO BE MORE OF AN ENERGY DRAIN ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP THAN YOU INTENDED. This is especially true when times are tough… like now. Nobody appreciates a […]

WHEN YOUR PAST VISITS

November 17, 2020A NICE STORY ABOUT ME?

What a kick.! I got a call from a man I’ve never met who was researching a piece of art he discovered in his Mom’s home, after she passed at 103. He had looked me up on the internet. I imagine what he wanted to know was if this “ETCHING,” signed by a “Linda Algazi” […]

COULD YOU BE A “MEDICAL SLEUTH?”

November 8, 2020DDIAGNOSE THIS "MEDICAL PROBLEM

You are in a classroom with other wan-a-be-docs. Your assignment is to diagnose a young patient who presents with the following symptoms: Sexual preoccupatiom Alternating depression and euphoria Loss of appetite Insomnia Loss of interest in school/work/hobbies Irrational jealousy Anxiety Social withdrawal from friends and family Inability to concentrate Obsessive fantasizing Occasional giddiness. Excessive […]

TAKE A PERSONAL INVENTORY

October 24, 2020"THE COMFORT TRAP" BU JUDITH SILLS

There are many arbitrary times to call for a life re-evaluation. Perhaps you’ve just turned 21, 50 or… 80. Or maybe you are motivated because of something completely out of your control. TAKE A PERSONAL INVENTORY: Are you comfortable enough deciding when to “hold em” an when to “fold em” when on the proverbial fence? […]

IN THE NAME OF MONEY… AND LOVE

September 23, 2020Emotional bank account

Bet you know about how much money you have in the bank. Whether times are tough, or not, you, if you are like most people, are likely to pay some attention. You are less likely to pay attention to your EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT. Stephen R. Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People®, continues […]

LOVE CHALLENGES… ON STEROIDS

September 6, 2020CORONAVIRUS

I am a LOVE doctor. My blog has most always been about the pleasures and pain associated with all kinds of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP connection. This one is no exception. Lately, because of our troubling times, and as I suffer along with everyone else, I take notice about how under whatever level of quarantine, relationships […]

WHEN POLITICS INTERFERES WITH “LOVE”

August 17, 2020Friendship

Politics is an adversarial game. For the most part, it is an ugly “game” and watching too much TV, I’ve decided, Is not good for mental health. At east it’s not good for mine. Friendship and family, on the other hand, depend on LOVE and connection. Can these two ideas be reconciled? The quality of […]

INSPIRATION FROM TWO GREAT MEN

August 8, 2020Bill Lyon PH.D.

I watched as the body of REP. .JOHN LEWIS was transported over the bridge in Selma last week and I thought about my mentor and friend Dr. Bill Lyon who participated on that first Selma march for freedom so many years ago. DR. LYON, a white man, believed, as I do, that “we are all NOT born […]

“HUSBAND FOR SALE”

July 21, 2020"HUSBAND FOR SALE"

Maybe you also caught the newspaper photo of the “HUSBAND FOR SALE” banner, flying from an apartment window. I smiled when because I guessed that whoever it was who posted it was kidding. But I also smiled because I understand how too much togetherness can get on your nerves. ADVICE FROM THE LOVE DOCTOR It […]

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN “CRAPPY” AND “AWESOME ”

June 28, 2020BTWEEN FEELING CRAPPY AND AWESOME

If you are a person whose emotional range includes only “Feeling Crappy” OR “Feeling Awesome,” too bad for you. You could learn to label your emotions more precisely. WHY SHOULD YOU BOTHER ? “Because you’ll increase your well-being,” says neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett. “No drugs necessary and people who have succeeded, go to the doctor […]

THE PROMISE OF WHAT COMES NEXT

June 12, 2020June-Gloom

Scripps holds a contest every year to guess the amount of June Gloom days for the year (Science isn’t very good at predicting June Gloom, despite the climate science industry’s best efforts). Lots of luck with that this year. Consider the horror of the death of George Floyd, the loud voices rallying for racial quality, Covid […]

LOVE AND HO’OPONOPONO

May 31, 2020ANOTHER LOVE CHALLENGE

If you want: To reduce the stress in your life… To improve your relationships with others… To live a happier and more positive life… If you want more control over your emotions, some say to “move to Hawaii”. GUESS WHAT? Hawaii can come to you. The Hawaiian practice of HO’OPONOPONO is portable. I understand it […]

HOW SHOULD PARENTS INTERVENE?

May 17, 2020CORONADIVORCE

Couples who are hunkered down together may be overwhelmed with too much togetherness. (I saw a photo on line this morning of a sign which hung from an apartment window. “HUSBAND FOR SALE.”) All kidding aside, there is a threat of CORONADIVORCE looming, all over the world. I understand. For sure, kids, who are “onlys,” […]

THE “GI JOE FALLACY”

April 29, 2020Love Doctor to the "OC"

Do you remember those old “GI Joe” episodes on TV? Some kid would do something bad… like drink their parents’ booze or smoke a cigarette or talk to a creepy stranger? Then “GI Joe,” would randomly show up, preach and teach that what the kid was doing was wrong and how , moving forward, knowing […]

MAKE-UP SAMPLES, COVID 19 AND INTROVERTS

April 16, 2020Covid 19

I cleaned out a closet and I came across my collection of untouched skin care and make-up samples…the department store give-aways you get when you buy, say, a lipstick. This week, in dire need of a manicure, etc., I scraped off my acrylic nails, washed away the gray and cut my own hair. My keep- […]

A CO-ISOLATION CHALLENGE

April 5, 2020A CO-ISOLATION CHALLENGE

Good chance that comedian Rodney Dangerfield and/or his wife had once experienced some sort of depressive episode. In any event, everyone laughed with recognition, when he said, “We sleep in separate rooms, have dinner apart, take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together…” His joke takes on new meaning […]

FEAR OF POLIO… BACK THEN

March 29, 2020FEAR OF POLIO... BACK THEN

I remember, as a child, being fearful of catching polio. My parents, along with their friends, whisked their families out to the “country” … the Catskill mountains… each summer, to escape, they believed, this terrible disease. I guess it worked for most people. I didn’t know anyone back then, who contracted polio. What I do […]

THE LOVE-DOCTOR’S PLEA FOR AN ACTION PLAN

March 12, 2020CORONAVIRUS

I never thought about myself as a hypochondriac; nor am I a chicken about most things. I am a psychologist, though, and as such, I’ve treated many people, more fearful than I, about what the future may bring, in different areas of their lives. Worrying, I’ve learned, doesn’t do much good … unless it results […]

TO FLORIDA, WITH LOVE

February 27, 2020Love Doctor goes to Florida

When New Yorkers, get burned out by tumult and/or weather, they are likely to move south to Florida. As a New Yorker who landed instead, in California, visiting old friends and family now sometimes means a trip to the “sunshine state” rather than back to the “city that doesn’t sleep.” In the name of […]

SWEET VALENTINE’S MUSINGS FROM THE LOVE DOCTOR

February 8, 2020Uncategorized

To celebrate VALENTINE’S DAY, I dressed up in red and wore a sweater… a costume… advertising myself as: […]

KOBE

January 27, 2020Uncategorized

I’ve never been much interested in say, who wins or anything much else about basketball. For me, watching a professional basketball game is like watching a ballet… the bodies are beautiful and the players move with incredible grace. But Kobe was hard to miss around here. He was a neighbor who could be easily spotted […]

THIS “THERAPY” IS FREE … ALMOST

January 18, 2020"FREE THERAPY"... ALMOST

t No matter how long you’ve been together, a really good idea is to pay attention to the state of your union. No one likes living in a stale-take-it-for-granted relationship. Even if you rate your marriage as “almost perfect,” the payoff from a little extra awareness can pay off big-time. So why not include a […]

IF YOU MAKE ONE “RESOLUTION”…

December 30, 2019FIND YOUR PASSION

I SAY, BAH HUMBUG, TO NEW YEARS “RESOLUTIONS,” EXCEPT FOR ONE. No, I don’t think I’m super- grinchy at all, at least when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions. A little grinchy, maybe. A contradiction? Let me explain… Say, in 2020, you want to be richer, skinnier, healthier… or you want to read more or […]

A LOVING GIFT TO GIVE YOUR KIDS

December 22, 2019Uncategorized

Parents and grandparents: In the name of love, give the gift of a “kindness lesson” to the kids in your life. Happy Holidays and a wonderful New Year to all. Offer up: […]

QUID QUO PRO, SELF-LOVE AND… WORK

December 15, 2019QUID PRO QUO... AT WORK

It used to be that QUID PRO QUO referred to trade-offs … benign tradeoffs. So much for simpler times. Today the Latin expression is more likely a reference to a shake-down. Truth be told, there is there’s a QUID PRO QUO built into every single relationship — every conversation. Really. We talk in a certain way […]

AN IDEA FOR YOUR THANKSGIVING PARTY

November 23, 2019AN IDEA FOR YOUR THANKSGIVING PARTY

BET YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH THE BIGGEST TURKEY EVER WEIGHED… OR HOW FAST A WILD TURKEY CAN RUN. Everyone at our THANKSGIVING CELEBRATION will have the answers, […]

IF YOU FEEL “USED”

November 10, 2019empowering yourself

Realizing, finally, that you can take control of your own life… to set emotional, physical and time boundaries is so empowering. It doesn’t matter how old you are when you get this message; you’ll probably agree though, that sooner is better. I met a man who had a button on his desk at work. When […]

ARE YOU A WORRIER?

October 28, 2019ANXIETY

It is comforting to learn that 85 percent… or more… of the things people worry about never happen. BUT WORRYING MAY NOT BE ALL BAD. “WORRYING can be kind of a “kick in the butt” to remind you to pay attention and recognize that something has got to change. There is a caveat, though. The trick […]

ARE YOU TOO NICE?

October 12, 2019angry spouse

Your instinct may be to shout, cry and / or scream at your spouse, your kids, your boss or your friend. But… you are also way too “NICE” to let on. Never would you do anything to disturb the harmony of any situation. […]

TRICKED BY “THE MAN”

September 24, 2019Anxiety as an epidemic

We are in the midst of several epidemics. Teen agers and young adults have been tricked by “THE MAN” into the belief that VAPING is cool. For the most part, these young people are not worried. Which is worrisome. For one, THE VAPING EPIDEMIC IS downright SCARY. People, mostly young, are getting sick and addicted, […]

WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS “DEPRESSED”

September 7, 2019If you have a depressed spouse

RE-BOUND? LUST? LOVE?

August 23, 2019Uncategorized

“It doesn’t feel like “RE-BOUND” insisted “Brett,” in palpable pain. His sister, in whom he confides, calls his behavior “outrageous.” So do his parents and his best friend, “Marc.” Brett is afraid to trust his instincts. He met “Chelsea,” just three weeks after “Marie,” his girlfriend of three years dumped him. No one in […]

MARITAL PROBLEMS? CONSIDER A “THREESOME”

August 2, 2019angry spouse

What do veteran couples… those married more than twenty years or so … fight about? You probably can guess… even if you have been in a relationship for a much shorter time. I don’t have to guess. My job is to help people love each other better. The first step always is to discover what’s […]

“SOUL- MATES” … REALLY?

July 17, 2019Uncategorized

Is your partner your “SOUL-MATE”? What does that mean to you? Do you believe that the person you coupled up with five… or forty years ago is the PRE-DETERMINED ONE PERSONwho was destined to be your mate into eternity? Maybe you do? I’m imagining you are one of the lucky ones, who so loves […]

FOR THE LOVE OF A GRANDCHILD

July 1, 2019FOR THE LOVE OF A CHILD

It was a TRIP all right… an inter-generational adventure organized by the Road Scholar Travel Organization. What a experience… an opportunity to bond, spend some time and have some fun with one of the people I love best. We got to know each other a little better. He accused me of cheating when he saw […]

LIFETIME COMMITMENTS AND PENGUINS

June 22, 2019Uncategorized

We read about animals that mate for life, like the MACARONI PENGUIN. These adorable big birds dance when they spot their mate. They are likely to puff up their chests, swing their heads from side to side and gurgle with apparent delight. And that’s all before their baby arrives. Then, the daddy watches over his […]

CAN YOU LIVE WITH A LIAR?

June 11, 2019Can You Live With a Liar?

“I don’t know why my husband lies to me… its usually about small stupid things that can’t possibly matter. He’s a good man, I think, with this bad habit,” said “‘Deb.” Have you ever tried asking him why he does that… why whatever it is he is lying about is so important to him? Why […]

LOVERS WHO KNOW HOW TO FIGHT

May 23, 2019"Listen to Understand"

It’s universal. People who live with other people sometimes disagree. That goes for good unions and bad ones. Who succeeds best has to do with how conflicts are handled. “My parents never fought with each other … I mean NEVER… so I believed that a fight-free relationship is how things should be” said ‘Carla’. “Silly […]

WAS YOUR MOM A GREAT ONE?

May 12, 2019Uncategorized

I miss my Mom today… and everyday. More today, I think, even though I get that my emotions are triggered by the Hallmark company. I think it has to do with feeling unconditionally adored. I’ve lived a lucky life for the most part when it comes to love… and a few other things. But I […]

NOT IN MY BEDROOM YOU DON’T…

April 30, 2019LOVING COUPLES... WHO FIGHT

Turns out that couples that watch TV together in bed… the same show that is… also reported more physical intimacy than those without TVs in their bedroom. ANOTHER MARITAL MYTH SHOT TO HELL. Makes sense, don’t you think, given how dependent we’ve all become on personal technology. Sharing any activity builds marital bonds. Watching a […]

SENIOR LOVE IN CYBERSPACE

April 9, 2019INTERNET DATING

Don’t believe computers and cyberspace and LOVE are made only for the young and flexible. “Liz,” 68, was widowed last year. He adoring husband passed a way after a long illness. Liz says she is lonely and hates coming home at night to an empty house and an empty bed. She and her friend, Milli […]

“I DON’T NEED A VILLAGE… I’M MARRIED”

March 31, 2019"I don't need a village"

Who is in your “VILLAGE”? I mean …who are the people you count on in your life… on who you can lean on in tough times and celebrate with in victory. Who are the people you’d rescue, whatever their crisis? I hope you will let them know how important they are to you. The African […]

ABUT THE COLLEGE ENTRANCE SCAM

March 17, 2019Uncategorized

I wasn’t surprised to read about the college entrance scam. I’ve been horrified about the negative effects of “Affluenza” for a long time. When affluence collides with influence, there’s sure to be be trouble. (the definition of Affluenza is “a psychological malaise affecting wealthy young people, symptoms of which include a lack of motivation, feelings of […]

“SHOULD “MELISSA” CHANGE … JUST TO KEEP ‘BRAD HAPPY?”

March 11, 2019A KINDER AND GENTLER "WALL"

Yes… within reason. Change is inevitable, desirable for you, for “Brad” and for your marriage. It’s all a matter of degree, I told “Melissa.” It does need to go both ways; your husband has to be willing to bend some, too. Changing small things about yourself to please your partner is part of […]

A “WALL”: KINDER AND GENTLER

February 26, 2019A KINDER AND GENTLER "WALL"

With all the uproar in the news about building “WALLS,” I can’t help but reflect about another kind of BOUNDARY-BUILDING… that between intimate partners. This “WALL”is one that can be adjusted according to need. It’s a relationship-builder that makes things a lot more interesting. Whether you are […]

TEEN AGE VALENTINES

February 10, 2019TEENAGERS IN LOVE

Falling in love can create a bomb in your brain… at any age… and I dare you to disagree. BUT DO YOU REMEMBER BEING A TEEN-AGER? In-love feelings are even more difficult to manage when bodies and brains are still maturing at a rate not experienced since infancy. “Cara,” sixteen, told me this week that […]

VACATION FOREPLAY

January 27, 2019Uncategorized

I’m leaving on Thursday with my friend who has invited me to join her at the Sundance Film Festival. I’ve been anticipating this short get-away for the last several months… experiencing what I think of as “anticipatory pleasure.” My friend, Lois, is always up for a good time and knows how much I love film […]

LOVE … AT ANY AGE

January 14, 2019ANOTHER LOVE CHALLENGE

It’s a shiny New Year. Love is in the air. Like the sunshine, as my mom always said, there’s enough love to go around for everyone. Doesn’t even matter how old you are. I heard a charming make-me-smile story about a romantic, creative eleven year old, too old really, to believe in Santa, who wrote […]

DID YOU RETURN HIS LINGERIE GIFT?

December 28, 2018"cracked" communication

The final ritual of any year-end celebration includes taking down the tree, putting away decorations and returning those gifts, which aren’t quite right. The one gift most likely to returned after the holidays is LADY’S LINGERIE. (And yes, I’ve written about this before.) It seems that men like to give these pretty little things more than […]

YOUR DISEASE: TO PLEASE

December 15, 2018SAYING "NO" TO PROTECT YOUR OWN GOALS

Suppose a friend asked you to drive her somewhere, tomorrow. Say, fifty miles away. No emergency, really. “Just an errand,” she says. Her car is on the blink. You are a wimp when it comes to saying “No”. Everyone in your life knows that about you. So, she asks, with a smile, pretty sure that […]

THE RIGHT LOVE -GIFT

November 30, 2018"cracked" communication

Suppose this Christmas/Hanukah season, a “miracle” occurred and when you awoke tomorrow, you were suddenly aware that life had gotten better… and not just for you. You feel like you’ve received the perfect gift: These are some of the things I would hope would be part of my miracle gift: World […]

MEN WHO SNOOP

November 15, 2018Love and Lies

Gentlemen: Would you ever go through a lady’s purse? Probably not. So why would you think it’s all right to check out her phone messages, her e-mails or her Instagram account? You better come up with a compelling excuse, should you be caught. She’s likely to be out-raged enough to re-think your relationship… especially if […]

THE MARSHMALLOW CHALLENGE AND JERRY SEINFELD

November 2, 2018Jerry Seinfeld

Ever hear about the Marshmallow experiment. In the “DELAYED GRATIFICATION” study in the late 60’s, little kids were offered a choice between a small reward… one marshmallow, a pretzel, a cookie… or the promise of two treats, if they were only willing to wait for fifteen minutes. What choice would you have made at age 3? […]

PAUL SIMON AND THE LOVE OF A CITY

October 20, 2018For the Love of a city

Paul Simon ended what he called his “farewell tour” in Queens New York where we both grew up and went to Queens College. The NYT Metropolitan Diary column, with its delicious snippets of New York experience inspired this blog entry. Always a wonderful and nourishing read to start the day. I love where I live, […]

HE SAID, SHE SAID AND WHY I DIDN’T TELL

October 4, 2018sexual abuse

One day after Judge Brett Kavanaugh was challenged by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford in front of a Senate Judiciary Committee, I went out to lunch with twelve women. We talked about these unfortunate “reality TV” hearings, as you may have been doing too.. An interesting conversation, for sure. … Eleven out of the twelve revealed […]

A BIRTHDAY WISH TO MYSELF

September 21, 2018Uncategorized

Another year … full of adjustments and adventures, for sure, and as I have pledged, here is my 2018 love-letter to myself… including a self-portrait. Old age, is a gift “they” say, which not everyone gets. I suspect mine is on its way I wear my words… on a bracelet which reads “Grateful”, a gift […]

**PASSION AT 50… IN GOOD RUNNING ORDER

September 7, 2018CHALLENGE AT 50

What makes Johnny run? John doesn’t think of himself as a jock or as a particularly passionate man… but he could have fooled me on both score At 49, he is in the 9thof 13 weeks of training for his first marathon. He figures that by race time he would have clocked 650 training miles. […]

LOVE AND “ANALYSIS PARALYSIS”

August 25, 2018ANALYSIS PARALYSIS AND LOVE

We all know the bleak stats. So why would anyone ever get married… or have kids… or love and/ or engage in any kind of committed relationship? How does one muster up the nerve to take a chance and dare to choose a person… a PATH… and expect to walk on, straight ahead, with blinders, […]

FOR THE LOVE OF A CHILD

August 11, 2018Self esteem and kids

TV’s Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were all special. Did he ruin these kids by giving them an unrealistic and inflated view of their own self-importance? Some people seem to think so. Really? Could this gentle advocate for children be to blame for all the coddling and free food that seems to […]

A “SEXUALLY STARVED” MAN AND HIS LOVING WIFE

July 28, 2018THE SEXUALLY STARVED MARRIAGE

“Ethan” and “Victoria,” once high school sweethearts, re-found each other in their thirties, after Ethan’s a contentious divorce. Now, after fifteen years of marriage they are flirting with the idea oft ending their own marriage. It was Ethan who called the question. “We NEVER have sex anymore. “ He hardly talks to me, Victoria said, […]

SHARED SMILES AND … COCA COLA

July 13, 2018CAN THIS MARRIAGE BE SAVED?

The longer a couple is together, their number of shared smiles and laughs is likely to diminish. This is not fake news. It is, however, a perfect set-up for what can become an UN-LOVEstory. […]

A SORT-OF REAL-LIFE “DR. HOUSE”

June 29, 2018"CHARM"

“Dr. Joe,”an emergency room doctor, was referred by the Chief of Staff in his hospital for his “un-charming” behavior toward other staff members. His excellent record with patients justified a last ditch effort to help him to keep his job. The report from the Chief stated,“not a week goes by without the doctor losing his […]

LIVE WITH “CHARM” AS A GIFT TO YOURSELF

June 15, 2018"CHARM"

MARGERY WILSON, spent a lot of her energy thinking about the importance of “CHARM.”Born in 1896, she was an American actress, writer and silent film director. In her book, she reminds us that “CHARM” demands daily expression in your life or it dwindles.” Right on, Margery. “Practice CHARM and you will have the smooth, knowing grace […]

THE “QUESTION” OF INTIMACY… WITH FRIENDS AND LOVERS

May 19, 2018"Questions" for intimacy

If you are craving more intimacy with the people in your life… and you are failing miserably… one problem may be that you are asking the wrong questions and/or asking them at the wrong time. . GENERIC QUESTIONS, like “How are you?” or “How ARE you?” or “How are YOU?” are intimacy-busters and are […]

“I HATE MY HUSBAND”

May 5, 2018"cracked" communication

“I hate my husband…. Now what should I do?” “Lori, once a college cheer leader, now a housewife, married for 22 years, wailed when she spoke about her “unfulfilling” marriage to “Tim” the once-captain of their college’s basketball team. “We were destined for a ‘charmed’ life. At least that’s what I thought. That’s what he […]

“APRIL FOOL”

April 20, 2018Uncategorized

“Chad” and “Jen,” have gotten themselves into a destructive pattern… one that we’re yet to unravel. “Yes, of course I love him. At least I love him more than I did… yesterday.” What did Chad do, yesterday? I asked. “He flirted with a waitress. OUTRAGEOUSLY. I felt this big,” she said, gesturing with her […]

DO YOU MAKE “PLAY-DATES” FOR YOUR HUSBAND?

April 6, 2018"Play-dates" for your husband

If you don’t actually make dates for your husband, I bet you’ve thought about it. That is, of course, if you get annoyed… or at least concerned… about his lack of interest in staying in contact with those he insists are “friends.” “I don’t get it,” insists “Dana,” who has been married to ‘Brett’ […]

“WHY WOULD SOMEONE PAY TO TALK TO YOU?”

March 24, 2018KEVIN LOVE

“Why would someone want to pay to talk to YOU?” Aidan, my nine-year-old grandson was helping me put the charges from my therapy practice through my credit card machine. He wasn’t being rude; he was trying to understand about my “job.” “Is psychology a business? he asked. Yes, I said. “Why do people go to […]

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS… AND LOVERS

March 10, 2018Algazi Family Counselig

Eighty years ago Dale Carnegie’s book, “HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE” was published. Since, tens of millions of copies have been sold. As a new subscriber to AUDIBLE, I was re-introduced and delighted by the voice version of what was may be the first self-help book. (1934) Some would call his premise “manipulative”… […]

DOES IT MATTER WHO YOU MARRY ANYWAY?

February 23, 2018Alain Botton

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU MARRY, according to philosopher Alain de Botton. “If you like them at the beginning, you probably won’t like them at the end. And if you start off hating them, there’s always the chance you’ll end up thinking they’re all right.” IS HE A CYNIC? AN ANTI-ROMANCE KIND […]

DID YOU MARRY THE WRONG PERSON?

February 9, 2018Alain Botton

“Tall, dark and handsome? Nice but not necessary. I’m fifty and single for the first time in twenty five years.” What is it you are looking for, I asked “Jennifer,” who owned up to searching for a new and perfect mate. “He’s going to hate football, love the beach, detest camping, and … oh… […]

WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL… AND RICH?

January 26, 2018DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH? SUCCESSFUL?

Talk to the people who have failed to achieve their professional dreams and most likely, they’ll tell you about their bad luck and about how their failure had more to do with happenstance. Those who have been successful, on the other hand, take more credit for determining their own life paths. Turns out happy, successful […]

“MINDFULL” OR “MINDFUL”

January 12, 2018"PLAN" : NOT A BAD WORD

Making New Years Resolutions, at first thought, seems to be counter to the notion of mindfulness. “I don’t want a road map,” insisted forty-five year old “Josh. “For once, for now, at least, I want to throw away the road map… to just enjoy the moment. My wife doesn’t understand”. His wife, he said, was […]

NOT SO FAKE NEWS

December 27, 2017#METOO

The latest flurry of no-fake news about powerful men, brought down by inappropriate behavior, inspired this week’s blog. Sexual harassment has toppled out of style with Harvey Weinstein’s accusers leading the canon-fire. I’m not exactly sure why this particular man’s creepy behavior caused the snowball effect; it does just seem like we have reached a […]

TRAUMATIZED? STOP THINKING SO MUCH

December 15, 2017Algazi Family Counselig

Just finished reading WAKING THE TIGER: HEALING TRAUMA, by PETER LEVINE, who reminds us that individuals are often traumatized by incidents that may not even have had any significant impact on others. Which does not make my “trauma”… or yours… any less traumatic. LEVINE teaches us how to be prepared for the inevitable glitches that […]

A THERAPY FOR SMART PEOPLE

December 2, 2017CBT

If you are a psychology junkie or if you are just fascinated by our common human condition, put the old movie “ORDINARY PEOPLE” (1976) on your not-to-be-missed list. Through this wonderful, though sad story, we are reminded how the same events impact people in such different ways. “Conrad” suffers silently through massive emotional pain after […]

THE AMBIVALENT “GRANNY”

November 15, 2017parenting

“Going to Granny’s at holidays Is not all its cracked up to be Especially when Granny is me. (MY MOM’S WORDS… IT’S HOLIDAY TIME AND I PROUDLY STAND ON HER SHOULDERS TODAY) “The family descends and expects the most And Grandpa and I play the gracious host Never mind that we’re tired as can be. […]

“PAPER” VS “PLASTIC” MARRIAGES

November 4, 2017"plastic" vs. "paper" relationships

I overheard a couple arguing at the check out stand in the market. He said “paper”. She insisted on “plastic.” The checker was courteous as she waited for the verdict. His voice was louder; the “winner” was paper and she stormed away. The man behind them in line tried to be helpful. “Not worth it […]

“#METOO”

October 22, 2017Uncategorized

Congrats to all those who spoke up on social media, in reaction to the most recent Hollywood sex scandal. Now, I’m chiming in. I’ve never been raped, but like all women I do have stories to tell. I learned about what I call “the power of me…” from experience. Early on, I learned to […]

CAUTION FOR “CURVY WIDOW”

October 14, 2017BOBBI GOLDMAN

Today, in New York: Just saw the off- Broadway show called CURVY WIDOW.. The audience, mostly women of a certain age, rollicked with delight as Bobbi Goldman’s. post-menopausal, “sexy” memoir came alive in song and dance. Bobbi, the real life widow of Oscar-winning playwright and screenwriter, James Goldman,. greeted giggling theater-goers in the lobby, before […]

THE BUNNY MONSTER: A SAD LEGACY

October 2, 2017BULLIES

I never met Hugh Hefner which was fortunate because from all I know about him, I wouldn’t have liked him much. He wouldn’t have liked me either. For starters, I’ve been over 3o for some time now… and I’ve never been blond. If you are female, chances are he wouldn’t have liked you either… even […]

A BIRTHDAY LOVE LETTER TO MYSELF

September 23, 2017BEING GRATEFUL

Once a year, like it or not, adjustment beckons. “Get used to the new number, girl.” True, I haven’t been a real “girl” for a while now…. but truth be told, I don’t know when that happened. I know enough, though, to be grateful. Old age, is a gift “they” say, which not everyone […]

ARE FIBS EVER JUSTIFIABLE?

September 16, 2017"fractured families

You may hate me for this but there are other times when a lie… a little fib… may actually be justified and a good idea. Think of it as a survival skill. I’ll bet somebody once had you believe in the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus. Now you know they were lying. Stick with me… […]

“MARITAL TERMITES” … PART #2

August 31, 2017"cracked" communication

I stand dinged. So many of you wrote that my last blog , “WATCH OUT FOR MARITAL TERMITES,” was a tease. You said I stopped too soon and didn’t offer enough about how to “termite- proof” a relationship. So, here goes… If you wish, take a moment or two, right now, to think about the […]

WATCH OUT FOR “MARITAL TERMITES”

August 16, 2017"TERMITING" YOUR RELATIONASHIP

Ever hear of LINGCHI? I hadn’t either. It’s Chinese for “death by a thousand cuts,” the practice of which was outlawed, thankfully, in 1905. ASK ANY LOVE DOCTOR. Marriages which fall apart, often do so, because of another a kind of LINGCHI. The culprits are a “thousand” little annoying “destroyers,” which can ultimately “termite” the […]

WONDER WOMAN AND LOVE

August 3, 2017empowering yourself

WONDER WOMAN, the fictional chick, with the perfect body who is out to save the world, relies on an arsenal of advanced technology which includes the Lasso of truth, a pair of indestructible bracelets and a head piece which serves as a projectile. Hard to believe she sprung from the brain of a man. (Then […]

DUMP MARITAL BOREDOM

July 20, 2017love challenge

This love doctor keeps her eye open for those people… couples… who seem to know how to take an extra bite out of life. I can’t help myself. Maybe, I think, I’ll learn a few new tricks. Haven’t you also noticed that people who are willing to seek out new experiences… just for […]

LOVE… AT FIRST “TEXT”

July 9, 2017DATING

“I’ve always believed in love at first sight. Please tell me it’s possible, doctor.” “Brianna” was crying. JOHN PERRY BARLOW, a one-time cynic, who wrote lyrics for the Grateful Dead, once said he was sure that the “”love at first sight” idea was invented by lady novelists from the South … with three names.” There’s […]

I SPIED ANOTHER “LOVE-CHALLENGE”

June 24, 2017ANOTHER LOVE CHALLENGE

Following is a true “love-challenge” story,” I tuned into a screenplay, and almost sold several times. Finally, I learned how often it goes that way in show business. Then, last week, in a fancy eat-in super market, I witnessed a incident very much like the inspiration for my LOVE-CHALLENGE AT THE CAR WASH story. This […]

“NINJA-LISTENERS” MAKE THE BEST LOVERS

June 8, 2017"Listen to Understand"

In feudal Japan, a “NINJA” was a covert agent, a mercenary. . With the aid of disguises and specific learned techniques, he gathered information about enemies Espionage was his mission. Ninjas had to learn to be great listeners. Their training prepared them to know when to keep their mouth shut and their minds open. This […]

JOY’S LEGACY LIVES ON… WITH KINDNESS

May 27, 2017A TRIBUTE TO JOY

KINDNESS, LIKE HAPPINESS AND LOVE, IS LIKE THE SUNSHINE…. there really is ENOUGH TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYONE. In my last blog, I celebrated the short, but wonderful life of my daughter-in-law Joy, from whom I learned so much about emotional generosity. So many of you responded. “How can I improve?” It sounds like a […]

A TRIBUTE TO JOY

May 9, 2017A TRIBUTE TO JOY

My sweet daughter-in law was the bomb. We always joked that we had a lot in common…. we loved the same man. I gained new respect for my son, Peter, because she married him… He knows that. Peter and Joy had an enviable connection. Maybe that’s why they made the best kids. For these past […]

HUSBAND OBAMA: “LISTENING TO UNDERSTAND”

April 24, 2017"cracked" communication

On TV this morning, I heard Barack Obama address young leaders. “Listen to understand… rather than listen to respond . It will keep you out of a lot of trouble in your marriage,” quipped Barack Obama. He was re-directing the comments of one young man addressing the importance of the right kind of open communication […]

ZIP-LINING TO NEIMAN’S

April 7, 2017Uncategorized

Who could blame me for my fantasy? Looking down at the front door of NEIMAN MARCUS, seventeen floors below, framed by the Pacific Ocean and Newport’s skyline, I’m thinking “ZIP-LINING.” In my head, I see an invisible, straight line, directly between my hotel room on the 17th floor of the ISLAND HOTEL in Newport Beach, […]

LOVING COUPLES… WHO FIGHT

March 28, 2017Commitment

Couples who verbally fight with each other, seem to love more than couples who don’t ever seem to disagree. “Really?” Really. Nobody agrees with anybody all of the time. JUST THINK ABOUT THIS: You have to really trust in the glue that binds you, in order to take on inevitable differences with someone you love. […]

“KAROSHI” IS A KILLER

March 11, 2017"KAROJISATSU"

I hope you are not a candidate for “KAROSHI.” There isn’t even a translatable word in English; closest we can come is to call it “death by overwork.” “KAROSHI”, according to The International Labor Association, is Japanese and refers to actual death… or work disability… because of one kind of cardiovascular attack or another, like […]

MORE IMPORTANT TO BE KIND OR HAPPY?

February 25, 2017BULLIES

Just ask the GIRL SCOUTS: Turns out it’s more important to be kind than to be happy! At least, we know, that being “kind” is more likely to come first. Research suggests that caring, respectful and responsible adults are the ones who live the happiest and most successful lives … and even make the most […]

LOVE, POLITICS AND VALENTINE FANTASIES

February 12, 2017"cracked" communication

In her photo, she was in a sexy ice suit, climbing the glaciers in Patagonia. He swiped to the right. They met with what felt like instant chemistry; It was just after Christmas. Sugarplum dreams danced in her head, thinking that this VALENTINE’S DAY, finally, would be special. Here was a girl, he thought, who […]

DON’T CALL MY HUSBAND A “LAME DUCK.”

February 2, 2017Uncategorized

Michelle Obama was quick to discount the words of the person who called her husband a “LAME DUCK”. “No way,” she smiled. Apparently, no one has to teach Michelle that a man needs to feel ADMIRED by the woman he loves. Sweetly, she explained that he was her “SILVER FOX” Awww. Good job, Michelle. Casanova […]

ON-LINE DATERS… BEWARE!

January 18, 2017CATFISH SCAMS

A woman I’ll call “Emily,” an otherwise sensible and responsible professional, told me she had been “EMOTIONALLY RAPED.” Even she couldn’t believe that it had taken SIX MONTHS of fantasy-like, on-line communication, before she caught on to the scam. Now, she’s having recurrent nightmares. Her once-busy accounting practice is suffering. She hardly leaves the house […]

COPING WITH RELATIONSHIP BREAK-UPS

January 5, 2017"fractured families

Since there is nothing like the high of a wonderful romance, when a relationship ends the fall from grace can feel catastrophic, even when it is ultimately for the best. Still, nobody likes giving up on a dream. Depending on how long you’ve been coupled, breaking up is much more than losing… or even dismissing… […]

SAFETY PIN FOR THE NEW YEAR

December 22, 2016BULLIES

My friend, Margie sent me a safety pin as a gift. What is this for? I asked. “Just a reminder to be nice…. a symbol that you stand with those who are most vulnerable. “It’s a declaration of sorts,” she continued. “A way of showing that if in spite of the upsurge of what seems […]

REAL FRIENDS SHOW UP

December 9, 2016Commitment

Joy’s friends have supported her during her physical challenges this year. She is my daughter-in-law and I am in awe of her and of her and of community of people who have stepped up to help. Look around in your own life to see who it is you trust most. Who are your friends ? […]

THOUGHTS AT THANKSGIVING

November 21, 2016giving thanks

Medical doctors do not enjoy the flu season. Now, a demoralizing election cycle has left so many people unhappy enough to seek psychological help for their pessimism about the future of our country. Psychologists are not pleased about this. I try to remain hopeful, though. This is a democracy after all. The things that bind […]

WHEN MEN “STONEWALL”

November 12, 2016"cracked" communication

It was the top of the seventh in the third game of the world series. Her intentions may have been good, but her timing sucked. She said: “Honey, we need to talk.” He couldn’t believe his ears. He thinks, “Now? Really?” “I could be naked in front of that TV and you’d ask me to […]

“SANTA’S TOO FAT” … A MOVIE

October 25, 2016BULLIES

The morbidly obese who have succeeded in losing weight with the help of BARIATRIC SURGERY, are all too often, put down by others, for “cheating” and for “taking the easy way out.” Consider that criticism of Weight Loss Surgery is just another form of vicious “Fat Shaming.” Those who are one hundred pounds plus… or […]

APOLOGY ALERT

October 16, 2016"cracked" communication

AN APOLOGY DOESN’T STAND A CHANCE, IF IT IS NOT SINCERE. When you do feel the need to apologize, chances are you have offended, disappointed or embarrassed someone enough to mess up his/her emotional equilibrium. And if it’s your spouse you’ve dissed, double OOPS. It’s harder when love is at stake, when one of you […]

WHEN MEN GET DEPRESSED

October 4, 2016angry spouse

If you’re talking to a MAN who you suspect feels hopeless and/ or over-whelmed, please, please, don’t ask him if he’s depressed. Because… chances are he’ll deny the possibility anyway. Men, as opposed to women, are much more comfortable focusing on the physical symptoms that accompanies their depression. Statistics support the idea that women […]

THE BAD, BAD “D” WORD

September 7, 2016"fractured families

(Take note: This bad, bad “D” word has nothing to do with the “Donald.”) There are certain things you should NEVER SAY to your spouse who you claim to love most of the time, even when you are over-the-top angry. NEVER SAY: “Whatever” … with that, you know the one… dismissive look on your face. […]

NEVER LIE… “BELIEVE ME!”

August 25, 2016"BELIEVE ME"

EVERYONE LIES. In fact, there are times lies… kind, “white” lies… can even serve you well. Like when you wife or your friend asks if you look “fat” in some new outfit. Or when the lady in the super market asks, “How are you?” Chances are, she really doesn’t want to know. There are those, […]

WHEN FRIENDS DIVORCE

August 14, 2016"fractured families

When “Betsy” came in for her first appointment, she wore big sunglasses to hide her bigger tears. She finally composed herself enough to explain that her friends “Meg” and “Rory” were getting divorced. It is always hard to watch people you care about, in pain, I said. “THEY’RE NOT IN PAIN… I AM,” SHE SAID. […]

EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

July 30, 2016"cracked" communication

I bet you’ve known someone who was so needy that he or she seemed to want… no… demand… all of your attention. You felt tired, drained after almost every encounter. You may have been… or are… the victim of an “EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE.” These people can and will suck you dry, if you let them. If […]

HOARDING: PART TWO

July 15, 2016Algazi Family Counselig

“Lisa” said she was appalled when she showed up, uninvited, to her friend “Marie’s” home and could barely get through the door. She hadn’t been there for a while. My last post was Part One of this series. You can read it by clicking here on <HOARDER OR COLLECTOR>. “Stuff was everywhere, and Marie was […]

“HOARDER” OR “COLLECTOR”?

July 2, 2016Algazi Family Counselig

He, who looked like a weathered hippy with an infectious smile, helped the man I hired, the one with a big truck and a strong back, to unload my gift onto dollies. I was donating my entire psychology/love library, 2000 books or so, to the public library and I handed them over to the gentleman-volunteer […]

ANOTHER “TIGER MOM” FOLLY

June 18, 2016"fractured families

Amy Chau, the infamous “TIGER MOM,” and contract lawyer from Yale University, has now presented her grown up kids with a “rental agreement.” Really??? Amy and her husband, Jed, the father of her daughters, live in the suburbs of New York and have a well-loved, pied-a terre in the city, which was once their first […]

AT VERY LEAST… BUY A LOTTERY TICKET

June 4, 2016Blog

Forget about your age… I’d bet you have a dream. Everyone sort-of has one. What’s yours? Once you’ve identified it, you already know that magic wands rarely work and that to even give it a shot, you are going to need a really good road map. I was reminded again how enriching it is to […]

“LUST” AT THE CAR WASH: A CAUTIONARY TALE

May 20, 2016challenged by your own moral compass

I spoke to a new dad who was challenged by his own moral compass, enough so, that he shared his story with me, which in turn, inspired me to write a short, “cautionary” screenplay Everyone who has ever had a baby knows what is feels like to be too exhausted to do much more than […]

THE “NARCISSIST” IN YOUR LIFE

May 6, 2016angry spouse

TRUMP aside, surely you know… or love… someone who you’d describe as cocky, arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding? Your mom may have told you that the bully-kid on the school playground… the one who bugged you… was just insecure and didn’t even believe his own bravado. Turns out, your mom was wrong. That bully, a […]

LOVERS, FRIENDS AND NASTY SHOUT-OUTS

April 22, 2016"cracked" communication

At a point of anger, have you ever out and accused your spouse, or someone else close to you, of “MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING?” Have you ever blown off a loved one, with a sarcastic, “GOOD LUCK,” to mean, that there would be nothing short of miracle that will make whatever he/she […]

UN-SPOIL YOUR KIDS

April 9, 2016"fractured families

I’ve dared to imply that over-indulged children may end up causing grief for other family members, as well as for themselves. In my mailbox were letters from so many parents. Perhaps it was the term, “AFFLUENZA,” which attracted the attention. “Affluenza” is NOT a mental condition, at least, not yet. Never the less, it has […]

“FRACTURED” FAMILIES

March 25, 2016"cracked" communication

I must of hit a nerve with my post entitled, “I’VE DIVORCED MY DAUGHTER”. First to respond was my own daughter, who read it and called to ask if there was something we needed to talk about. I think she was kidding… but I reassured her anyway. Then the responses to my e-mail account poured […]

“I HAVE DIVORCED MY DAUGHTER”

March 12, 2016Bill of Rights For Parents

Surely, sometimes it is reversed, but when things are not right with one’s adult children, it too often, is more of a profound, life-changing disappointment to the elder generation. Life throws us sucker punches for sure. But, could it be that there is nothing is more painful than being estranged from an adult child? After […]

THE FIFTH GRADE BULLY… AND YOU

February 28, 20165TH GRADE ANGST

I heard a man talking about his fifth grade “HERO” during a “MOTH RADIO HOUR.” If you also felt that you were out-of-step with what you imagined you were supposed to be thinking or feeling, you’ll appreciate this story. I’ve written before, about my fifth grade nemesis… the “BULLY.” This time, I won’t use her […]

ROACHES, REVENGE… AND QUIRKY ROMANTIC MOVIES

February 12, 2016BRONX ZOO VALENTINE IDEA

You know, and so does she, that it’s a “Hallmark Holiday,” but when you love somebody, you probably pay attention to “VALENTINES DAY.” You don’t need this love doctor to tell you that it’s a good idea to give in to some romantic gesture. “I’ve included some quirky movie-picks which may inspire romance… but first: […]

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

January 28, 2016Blog

Know any “SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW” people? You know who I mean…. those OPTIMISTIC souls, who like “Annie,” somehow manage to be happy anyway, even when things don’t seem to be going so well. Try not to hate them. Instead… learn from them. Remember how everyone loved “Annie”? When life throws you a few […]

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