Falling in love can create a bomb in your brain… at any age… and I dare you to disagree.



In-love feelings are even more difficult to manage when bodies and brains are still maturing at a rate not experienced since infancy.

“Cara,” sixteen, told me this week that she was sure she had found the boy she was going to marry. She was angry with her parents who didn’t understand and who didn’t have a clue about how she felt.

She needed someone who would listen and not laugh at her.

Somehow she had dug up the old song by Dion and the Belmonts. I remember that song  from the olden days.

The lyrics:

“One day I feel so happy, next day I feel so sad.
I guess I’ll learn to take the good with the bad.

Cause each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?”

She was ambivalent about all these new and wonderful feelings she was experiencing.

Cara beamed as she told me all about “Jeff”.  He was a soccer player on his school’s team. “Not the star,” she said, “just my star… everyone says we are such a cute couple.” She showed me his photo. Then another.





He did look adorable.







I asked how long their relationship had been a “thing?”

“Eight months,” she said.

Then she admitted they had had a few breaks after one fight or another.

“It’s hard to have a boyfriend sometimes…

“My friends say I don’t hang out with them anymore.

“I have to get my own work done but when Jeff calls, making him happy is all I can think about.“

She managed to smile through her tears.

“On some days,  “it  feels like a curse to be a ‘teenager in love’.  Am I normal, Dr. Linda?”

Oh Cara.  Falling in love  takes some getting used to… no matter what your age.  Emotions, mood swings, desires and needs do have a way of taking over.

Your experience of first love is a rite of passage to the woman you are becoming. It is as real an emotion as there is.

You are so normal.

“Could you tell that to my parents?”

This relationship with Jeff is a wonderful chance to learn intimacy skills including how to respect your own boundaries… because of … and in spite of love you are experiencing.

We all know people  who were high school sweethearts and who have managed to live happily ever after.

And, maybe, some day,  Jeff will be your husband.  Most likely, though, that will not happen.

Regardless, this love experience will remain an important part of who you are and who you will become.

As a teenager, you have discovered that you can experience super-intense feelings…  romantic love. The problem is that you haven’t got all the thought processes in place that you need to control your emotions.

No, I’m not discouraging your relationship.  I just hope that you can encourage each other’s personal dreams without losing yourself in the process.

Love is always a challenge… but especially at 16.

(I encouraged Cara to show this blog to her parents. )







And love who matters… 



Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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