“MARITAL TERMITES” … PART #2

I stand dinged. So many of you wrote that my last blog ,  “WATCH OUT FOR MARITAL TERMITES,” was a tease. You said I stopped too soon and didn’t offer enough about how to “termite- proof” a relationship.

So, here goes…

If you wish, take a moment or two, right now, to think about the kind of INTERACTIONS you have with your spouse:

 What percentage of them seem confrontational?

2. How often do you fight?

3. Do you share the day’s funny stories with l each other?
4. How about a joke… do you tell each other jokes?
5. How much fun did you have last week with your spouse?
6. Do think you could come up with ways to have more fun next week?
7. Are you as nice to your spouse as you are to your friends?
8. Do you make him/her look good to others?

You can become a “COMPASSIONATE EXTERMINATOR”
to insulate your marriage from unnecessary trouble.

TAKE THE “MARITAL TERMITE” CHALLENGE:

CONSIDER:

1. Cutting out some TV time to carve out extra time with your wife.
2. Planning surprises for him/her.
3. Praising your husband when he deserves it.
4. Thanking him/her for all he/she does.
5. Supporting his/her personal interests.
6. Respecting each other as you want to be respected.
7. Looking at him/her in the eye, when you speak.
8. Listening to him… showing interest… asking questions. Being his backboard. Using him as yours.
9. Making love more often.
10. Learning how to communicate successfully without fighting. (This one’s worth some serious attention.)

Many anti-fight pundits advocate this “magic fight-fair” plan.

1. Give you spouse your undivided attention whenever you talk.
2. Don’t yell to make a point.
3. Attempt to see the issue from his/her point of view.
4. Ask and clarify to check out if your message has really been delivered.
5. Yes, be willing to go to bed angry. It allows partners to clear their heads and get some sleep. The fight may seem less of an issue in the light of day.
6. Own up to your own responsibility in the fight.
7. When all else fails, agree to disagree and “hug it out.” Above all, touching can be real “magic.”

Someone once said, “A marriage is like a house. When a light bulb burns out you do no go and buy anew house; you fix the light bulb.”