Suppose this Christmas/Hanukah season, a “miracle” occurred and when you awoke tomorrow, you were suddenly aware that life had gotten better… and not just for you. You feel like you’ve received the perfect gift:

These are some of the things I would hope would be part of my miracle gift:

  1. World peace (I know that’s a stretch!)
  2. The discovery of vaccines to control and cure horrific disease.
  3. Family harmony.
  4. The recognition that LOVE IS LIKE THE SUNSHINE… and that there is really enough to go around for everyone.
  5. That the people I love know me well-enough to gift me with experience vouchers and the promise of enthusiastic time.

Are you also having trouble coming up with the right kind of love-gift?

Aldous Huxley, the prominent English writer and philosopher once said, “There isn’t any formula for loving; you learn to love by paying attention and doing what one discovers has to be done.”

The same is true, I think, for GIFT-GIVING.



There is no sure-fire formula, but you will be more likely to have a holiday filled with love and good cheer if you read Gary Chapman’srunaway best seller,“The Five Love Languages” … before you choose a gift for your significant other.


Your inclination may be to show love in a way in which YOU would like to receive it… and to buy gifts in a category that you’d enjoy.

 But guess what?

If you listen to Chapman, you’ll understand how easy it is to mess up. Your loved one may not even appreciate your gesture… or your gift. If his/her love-receptors are blinded by his/her own inevitable style, never mind how sincere you are, he/she is not going to get the message you intended.

To the receiver, it’s like hearing a foreign language.

Chapman  says, “My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling, is that there are five primary emotional love languages.


 Would he/she appreciate:


  1. Words of Affirmation (a love letter goes a long way)?
  2. Quality time (un-divided attention)?
  3. Receiving Gifts (The receiver thrives on the thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift)?
  4. Acts of service (actions speak louder than words)?
  5. Physical Touch (Must be part of every gift… nothing speaks more than appropriate touch.)


For a sexier holiday, read “THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES,” BY GARY CHAPMAN, aloud, together.






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