HOW CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR KILLS LOVE

October 27, 2021controlling men

“I’ve had too many false love-starts,” said ‘Josh,’ 35. “Josh” is a tall, pleasant man, with a bright smile who looks like he takes good care of himself. Have you even consulted with a love-coach or a psychologist before? “No,” he said, looking away from me. “Doc,” I’m ready to get married… to the right […]

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“NINJA-LISTENERS” MAKE THE BEST LOVERS

June 8, 2017"Listen to Understand"

  In feudal Japan, a “NINJA” was a covert agent, a mercenary. . With the aid of disguises and specific learned techniques, he gathered information about enemies Espionage was his mission. Ninjas had to learn to be great listeners. Their training prepared them to know when to keep their mouth shut and their minds open.   This […]

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AT VERY LEAST… BUY A LOTTERY TICKET

June 4, 2016Blog

Forget about your age… I’d bet you have a dream. Everyone sort-of has one. What’s yours? Once you’ve identified it, you already know that magic wands rarely work and that to even give it a shot, you are going to need a really good road map. I was reminded again how enriching it is to […]

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WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

January 28, 2016Blog

Know any  “SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW” people? You know who I mean…. those   OPTIMISTIC souls, who like “Annie,” somehow manage to be happy anyway, even when things don’t seem to be going so well. Try not to hate them. Instead… learn from them.   Remember how everyone loved “Annie”? When life throws you a few […]

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#1: PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE “GOTCHAS”

December 20, 2015"Gotchas"

                                                                       1. Does your spouse says or do mean things with a smile on his face? 2. Does your “loving” partner verbally comply with your requests but miss the mark, when it comes to follow-through? 3. Does he drive you crazy by consistently postponing or procrastinating doing something that he has promised to do? 4. […]

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questions

36 Magic Questions

January 18, 2015Blog

January 18, 2015 Want to feel more connected to someone? Ask each other these 36 questions — but not all at once. Even if you are not currently coupled, it may serve you well to think about your own answers. And about how much you would be willing to share. 1. Given the choice of […]

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cuddles

“Cuddles For Hire” and January Drama

January 9, 2015Blog

January 9, 2015 This morning, “The Wall Street Journal” included a feature article about how the “Cuddle For Hire” business is taking off, even though — “clothes are staying on”. Really? The proponents insist their service has nothing to do with sex and that what they offer instead is hugs, nuzzles and tickles for about […]

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steamy

Ticket Back to Hot Sex

November 3, 2014Blog

November 3, 2014 Interested in hot sex? –“RE-KINDLING” has to come first. That is… if you’re thinking about having it with the same old partner. Think “campfire”. You have to start slow to reach the big flames. Talking is a very good place to start. Don’t roll you eyes, Gentlemen. Women are always claiming that […]

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rail

Getting a Marriage Back on Track

September 15, 2014Blog

September 15, 2014 After reading my last blog entry, (Divorce Predictors, September 4th 2014), Hilda wrote: “I get that the marriages you describe are in jeopardy, but what now? Can these marriages ever be saved?” Sometimes they can, Hilda. Some people learn from their bad experiences and move on to healthier relationships with or without […]

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sports

Football, TV, Cell Phones or Me?

March 13, 2013Blog

March 13, 2013 Ladies: Ever hear of “Zeebox?” It’s an app which watches your TV shows, right along with you and offers the kind of chatter and gossip you may crave. Never will you get that kind of attention and companionship from your man. He’s not even interested in the shows you watch. Gentlemen: If […]

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My Valentine

To My Valentine

January 16, 2013Blog

January 16, 2013 Dear Valentine, I know you are worried about what to give me for Valentine’s Day, so let me give you a few hints. No chocolates, please. I love chocolates, and I will not be able to resist them. Save me from that. Please. I do not want cut flowers because they die […]

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Dustin Hoffman

Husbands, Wives: Learn From Dustin Hoffman

October 10, 2012Blog

October 10, 2012 Husbands, Wives: Learn From Dustin Hoffman – Dustin Hoffman, the actor, said that Luciano Pavarotti, the famous classical singer and one-time insurance salesman, allegedly relied on encouragement from his wife to get out on the stage and perform. “My wife is also how I came to producing and directing in this time […]

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couple avoiding each other

Men and Women Avoiding Intimacy

August 18, 2012Blog

August 18, 2012 MEN AVOIDING INTIMACY – When and if a husband, like “Rob”, is tempted out of his “fidelity,” it is likely to be by some other woman who admires him and seems to find him irresistible, in person. She doesn’t have to balance a checkbook, keep the house neat or get along with […]

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bonding

Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding

July 7, 2012Blog

July 7, 2012 Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding – Never mind the current best-selling trilogy of “mommy porn” fiction which I talked about in my last entry. (Click here on “Fifty Shades of Gray” to check it out.) I’m saying that if you really want to keep love hot, “bondage” doesn’t work. […]

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Married Woman

Why Married Women Flirt

August 31, 2010Blog

August 31, 2010 Why Married Women Flirt – Suppose you were at a party with your beautiful wife, who you notice had made more extraordinary efforts than usual to look great. She wore tight jeans, a top, cut just a little too low for your taste, and shoes you had never seen before. “Jimmy Choo’s,” […]

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not even Valentine's day

It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2010Blog

February 16, 2010 It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day – On a more ordinary Wednesday, John asked his girlfriend, Susan to play hooky from work and to meet him at a favorite spot near the beach. “Bring a picnic lunch,” he said. “I’ll bring the champagne.” When Susan arrived at the designated corner, she found John […]

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woman

When a Wife is Too Special For Sex

November 6, 2009Blog

November 6, 2009 When a Wife is Too Special For Sex – Although it’s usually men who complain about not getting enough attention in bed, sometimes it’s a woman who has the complaint. When he says something like, “I’ve got a headache,” and she accuses him of “giving at the office.” Love Doctors like me […]

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older couple

How To Be Successful In This Marriage or Your Next One

February 18, 2009Blog

February 18, 2009 I’m having post-Valentine’s thoughts. Last week I wrote about my visit to a famous “OC” mall where I conducted a love survey. I remain amazed about what some people will tell an absolute stranger in a mall! One man, who was sort of hanging around and listening to what I was doing, […]

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vlaentine

Why Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day?

February 4, 2009Blog

February 4, 2009 Why Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day? – Men hate Valentine’s Day because it feels contrived and because it feels like it calls for some arbitrary display of love by which he will be judged. So why do women love Valentine’s Day? Because, even if it is contrived, it represents another opportunity to […]

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lingerie

MEN: Don’t You Buy Lingerie for Her

November 17, 2008Blog

November 17, 2008 Someone I love sent me a Thanksgiving reminder. The message was to remember to live each day, each hour, to the fullest. And to not put off the good stuff. It didn’t exactly say to eat dessert first … but it was implied. The message was full of encouragement to never save […]

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frustrated

What’s a Frustrated Husband To Do?

July 29, 2008Blog

July 29, 2008 Suppose you are a married man who feels like you are misunderstood and under-appreciated. You say that all your wife does is complain about what you do wrong. She pushes you away when you approach her to make love. She makes excuses to do her own thing. She acts like she doesn’t […]

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