Picture of Dr. Linda Algazi, Ph.D


It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day – On a more ordinary Wednesday, John asked his girlfriend, Susan to play hooky from work and to meet him at a favorite spot near the beach. “Bring a picnic lunch,” he said. “I’ll bring the champagne.”

When Susan arrived at the designated corner, she found John with a large bunch of yellow flowers in one hand and a filled champagne glass in the other.

“Just getting in the mood,” he said, toasting her.

She told me how adorable he had looked and that she had never loved him more than at that moment.

How often does he do that stuff? I asked.

“Let’s say he keeps our relationship interesting.”

Not bad, John.

I challenged Susan to tell me more about why she appreciates this boyfriend more than some of the men in her past..

“It may not sound like it, asking me to stay away from work to play with him, but he really respects what I do. He looks for ways to help me.

“He laughs at my jokes,

“He’s a gym rat. I like that. It’s sexy.

“Oh, he’s nice to my grandmother.”

Something must be wrong with him, I challenged.

(Dr. Linda’s rule is that you can’t commit to anyone whose faults you can’t identify.)

“He can be selfish. He wants what he wants when he wants it. A lot of guys are selfish. Does ‘selfish’ count?”


Susan was then quick to add that she can deal with ‘selfish’ because he always seems to manage to bring out the best in her, anyway. “I like me better when I’m with him,” she says.

How could John resist this woman who adores him as she does and lets him know it?

I asked him why he loves her:

“Other than her physical charms? She’s always thinking about ways to please me.

“She’s smart.

“She buys us lottery tickets every day. Can you believe that? So far we haven’t won, but its fun to think about what we would do with all that money.

“I suppose if we win, we’ll have to get married.”

John, are you going to have to win the lottery, in order to get married?

“Don’t push me. When I think about getting ‘serious’ and ‘settling down’, it sounds like some kind of terrible sentence.”

Come on, John.

He smiled. “I love Susan. I do. I know that in the end, we’ll be married as long as we agree one one thing: No settling down!

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