It used to be that QUID PRO QUO  referred to trade-offs … benign tradeoffs.  So much for simpler times.

Today the Latin expression is more likely a reference to a shake-down.

Truth be told, there is there’s a QUID PRO QUO built into every single relationship — every conversation. Really. We talk in a certain way because we expect some favorable response, whether it be from our families, our lovers, and our colleagues.

“Jody,” feels she is being terrorized at work by what she calls a WORD-JERK,” who happens to be her boss.

I always feel that I’m about to get fired if I don’t please him every minute. It doesn’t seem to matter how perfect I am. He’s so mean… my stomach always is in knots. I know he doesn’t want to fire me… he just loses it sometimes. I want to keep my job … and my sanity.”

You can never know what’s going on in someone else’s life, Jody.  Hostile work environments are created by bullies, needy characters and “WORD-JERKS.” Bosses who bully are most often, under tremendous pressure. They also love control and feed off of two things — emotional reaction and attention.

He is “the boss,” after all. So what if expects too much from everyone else. Why should he have to worry about that reciprocal “Quid pro quo” thing.

If Jody wants to keep her job, make things more pleasant and to become less of a victim, in the name of SELF-LOVE, she might consider:

 

  1. “Huh?” as a magic word which may just stop the “word-jerk” in his/her tracks. Imagine that your bad boss has just said some toxic something, but acts like his request is perfectly reasonable. (“Huh?” works because t sends a message that you are taking the “word-jerk” seriously.)
  2. Following up with something like, “Do you really believe what you just said?” (Important to keep a calm demeanor so as not to “appear” to be thrown off balance.)
  3. That a bully-boss takes his power from scaring you. Unless you are in physical danger, you must learn to mentally disengage.

  1. Thinking to yourself, “I will not provoke… I will not be provoked.” Then, saying… with a smile…, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
  2. Acknowledging that you understand that he/she is upset and that you can talk about this later when you’ve had a chance to think about the situation. (Chances are good that  your bully will give up.)
  3. Taking some time to figure out something that your boss could do for you. (a reverse Quid Pro Quo?) Sometimes, really, that actually works.

                                                                            THINK ABOUT THIS

                                         THE BEST CHANCE YOU HAVE OF CHANGING HIS BEHAVIOR IS CHANGING YOUR OWN.


Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

AvatarShannonDecember 15, 2019 at 5:24 pm

Practical words of wisdom.
Thank you!

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