Maybe you also caught the newspaper photo of the “HUSBAND FOR SALE” banner, flying from an apartment window.

I smiled when because I guessed that whoever it was who posted it was kidding. But I also smiled because I understand how too much togetherness can get on your nerves.

ADVICE FROM THE LOVE DOCTOR

It is such a good time to remember why you’ve loved him or her… before our world turned upside down.

For starters, think about the couples you’ve known who have always appeared to do marriage best.  In days of yore, we’ve seen them at parties, on dance floors.

You know the ones I mean… They seem to have stars in their eyes ….  and all eyes are on them.

For years now, you’ve watched them on social networks and fantasized about how you may be missing out (FOMO). It’s so easy to forget that snapshots of a happy moment never tell the whole story.

Could it be that you also are under-estimating the joy that comes from your partner… who mostly has had your back during this lock-down.

Illusions aside, regardless of their age, the happiest couples have lots in common.

                                        HOW DOES YOUR RELATIONSHIP MEASURE UP?

From  studies of couples in their 20’s through  their 80’s, we learn:

  1. That right from the start, the happiest spouses felt a connection between them. Even those who started out as platonic buddies, were excited about their initial relationship.
  2. That FRIENDSHIP is based on sameness and that PASSION has to do with differences. And that, for them, shared values became the seeds of ultimate passion.
  3. That the happiest couples benefit from their differences. They seem to shift … zig and zag… to call upon each other’s best traits, to handle whatever the problem.
  4. That happy couples have learned to fight fairly. As time goes on, their disagreements come to focus more on finding resolutions and less on power struggles.
  5. That the happiest spouses see a better reflection of themselves in the eyes of their partners
  6. .That MARITAL SUPER-STARS recognize that things change. You’ll change, for sure and so will your partner. So will your marriage.
  7. SUPER-STARS get that along with friendship, respect and commitment, comes financial agreement. “We agree… What’s mine is ours,” and while discretionary funds for each is so desirable, they agree to consult each other on large important money issues.
  8. And maybe more important than anything else, the happiest couples understand and pay serious attention to the affectional and sexual needs of their partners throughout the life-cycle.

PLEASE NOTE: I sincerely hope whoever posted the “HUSBAND FOR SALE” banner, is a fun-loving spouse whose husband also appreciates the importance of humor.  He would do well to hold onto that woman.

Hope you are smiling, too!

P.S. We’ve had lots of requests from friends and family who missed the live panel discussion last week about emotional resilience.

If you are interested, here’s the link…

https://www.facebook.com/shmtemple/videos/694110741435706    (starts at 45:00)

Thanks for tuning in!

Dr. Linda


Thanks For Visiting,

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