In feudal Japan, a “NINJA” was a covert agent, a mercenary. . With the aid of disguises and specific learned techniques, he gathered information about enemies

Espionage was his mission.

Ninjas had to learn to be great listeners. Their training prepared them to know when to keep their mouth shut and their minds open.


This LOVE DOCTOR recognizes that the rest of us would do well to take some NINJA – LISTENING – LESSONS.

Some come by this skill naturally, for sure… but most people have to make a conscious effort to change. Everyone knows that change is difficult…  but more love and adoration in intimate relationships and professional success at work may make better listening  a goal to think about..


1.  give you their full attention, including eye contact and posture.

2. let you know they follow what you are saying by nodding in agreement or asking you to clarify something.

3. listen for the feeling behind the words and express it back to you. (just acknowledging what you are saying will help avoid some of the friction.)

4. know that when the other person is speaking, they need to empty their mind of what they want to say and how they want to respond.

5. never judge.

6. don’t assume they know how you feel.

7. don’t criticize… ask for clarification.

8. show evidence of caring about you.

9. are patient and willing to let you take time to fully express yourself.


How  you feel when someone steals your thunder by injecting their own story or when someone finishes your sentences.

Not so good, I’d bet.

“NINJA LISTENING” is about understanding another’s perspective and then compassionately communicating… relaying… what you’ve heard them say.

It’s like making love… at its best.

When a person feels heard and understood, it is simply easier for them to hear you and/or love you better.

Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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