I have a friend who signed up for a zoom music appreciation class. What a great idea, I thought, especially through these difficult times.
Music, he explained, is something he knows little about. The first session included examples of Gregorian chants, with religious roots. My friend is a spiritual man. No surprise to me that he would have chosen this class.
Was this a New Year’s Resolution? “No,” he insisted. No New Year Resolutions for me.
Turns out making New Year’s resolutions may not be a good idea this time around. There is enough pressure on all of us without placing additional expectations on our time and psyches.
“Things have to get better,” said another woman. “I have to have some kind of plan going forward or I’ll go crazy.”
Dear Friend,, you have been so kind and I look forward to all your responses. In my last blog, however, after I asked you to tell me about your resolutions for 2021,, the response was overwhelmingly, underwhelming. Only one reader answered!
“Are you kidding me?” he wrote. “Give me a break… Give yourself a break, Dr. Linda.”
Thank you.
I’m going to plan ahead but I resolve to give myself the gentle break, he suggests. I hope you’ll join me.
Acknowledge what bandwidth you have to commit to a change or addition in your life. Is the change you had in mind realistic right now? Are you being reasonable? Or are you setting yourself up for failure?
- Try focusing on mindfulness and awareness, and releasing some of the self-criticism.
- Incorporate a mindfulness routine or ritual into your life. If you need help figuring out where to start, meditation appsoffer helpful mindfulness tools, exercises and guided meditations.
- Make a “Bucket List” of all the things you’d love to do this month. Think about what makes you happy.
- Break it down even further to include a small step each day in pursuit of that happiness.. In the months that follow, promise yourself to re-visit your list, as you wish.
- Take a clue from the young students we know who take reading challenges to raise money for their schools. Create a list of books you’d like to read ( if only you had time) and designate some special reward for yourself when you meet the challenge.
- Think about the difference between A New Year’s Resolution… the kind that rarely work… and making a measurable plan. (Generalities such as “I want to eat a healthier diet,” or “”I want to spend less money,” rarely have legs enough to carry you through.) Keep a diary, say, of what you eat or what you spend.
- Take a clue from <halo-heart.com> and pick a word that reminds you about who you are and/or encourages you to stay focused.
Order a bracelet or make a sign and tape it to your mirror, for inspiration.
The best way to survive isolation is to tap into creativity that you already enjoy and find yet another way to express it.
My friend discovered that his music class introduced him to some new version of the solace he gets from his meditation and mindfulness practice. Some people find it easier to get it right. The rest if us can learn from them.
PS My words are “LOVE” and “COURAGE”.
Email Dr. Linda
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