Change of any kind is most often associated with ANXIETY. ‘(ANXIETY” is the feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.)
My favorite four-year-old, who has been so excited to start pre-k in a new school this year, cried when her Mom left her off. I cried some too, just hearing about her discomfort.
Ten minutes later, she had recovered. Recovery took a bit longer for those who love her.
This week I spoke with a sixth- grade soccer player, who was worried … ANXIOUS…that the tee shirts his mom had bought him were too “geeky”. What if the other kids made fun of his clothes?
A SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ABOUT-TO-BE SENIOR, also confided that she was afraid she was going to disappoint her parents if she didn’t get into Harvard or Yale. “Yale’s my second choice,” she said. Her grades, thus far, were not consistent with those lofty goals and her ANXIETY has kept her from eating much for several weeks now.
I also worry about all those new college students who left home this month. They, of course, were last year’s high school stars who managed to succeed, pretty much in isolation and in spite of COVIDS’S challenges. One about-to-be-launched Freshman looked up the word “ANXIETY” on google and had self-diagnosed, before coming to see me.
Children and young people do not have a franchise on ANXIETY. The parents of these kids are also facing life changes which, in part, are dictated by the ages and stages of their children.
Little ones grow along with changing needs.
MOM AND DAD: TAKE NOTE…
Just when you think you’ve got things figured out … BOOM… things change. Your new job is to face the reality of what it means to your kids and to you, as they navigate into the next stages of life.
- How will the changes in your children’s life affect yours?
2.How will it affect your marriage?
3. Are you prepared to become empty nesters?
4.How will you use your new-found time? (More about that some other time.)
In this crazy new world of ours, most are experiencing some CHALLENGE-OF-CHANGE-ANXIETY.
It’s always been normal to feel ANXIOUS about change like moving to a new place or starting a new school.This type of anxiety is unpleasant, but it may motivate us to work harder and do a better job.
ORDINARY ANXIETY is a feeling that comes and goes but doesn’t interfere with your everyday life.
HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN COPE WITH CHANGE
If your children are bothered by some FRIENDLY BUTTERFLIES in their bellies, identify them as such. Encourage them to get enough sleep, stay active and eat healthy foods.
Keep lines of communication open and take their concerns seriously. This can help their fears from becoming chronic or more debilitating.
If symptoms persist, if your kids are letting their fears get the best of them, if they are unusually irritable and/or they are complaining of repeated headaches or stomach aches, see a doctors. Pay attention if they are isolating or engaging in unusual behavior. Ask for help, if necessary.
Take comfort in the idea that this stage, too, shall pass.
.
Email Dr. Linda
{ 0 comments… add one now }