Realizing, finally, that you can take control of your own  life… to set emotional,  physical and time boundaries is so empowering.

It doesn’t matter how old you are when you get this message; you’ll probably agree though, that sooner is better.

I met a man who had a button on his desk at work. When he pressed it, a voice blasted “NO.”

Where did you get it, I asked.

“My kids gave it to me. They reminded me that I had promised to be home from work by dinnertime, at least twice a week, he said sheepishly. My kids are right… I’ve been a pushover for any request at work.”

I also know a nine-year-old girl who said she learned all about BOUNDARIES in school.

Last week she told her parents that she wasn’t going to help with the dishes anymore after dinner and that she wasn’t interested in taking out the trash.

When her Mom asked her to explain, she quoted her teacher.

 “My teacher says I’m entitled to my PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. I’d rather watch a movie.”

Me too, I thought.

The teacher meant well, I’m quite sure.

Boundary lessons are not intended to provide an excuse for avoiding some unpleasant task. My young friend got it wrong. Recognizing her boundaries does not make LAZINESS or lack of cooperation, okay.

All children between nine and twelve have the the developmental “job” of testing BOUNDARIES. They wonder how far they can  push without being stopped.

Alas… there is security in knowing the limits of what will be tolerated within the family and out in the world. 


It’s a lonely life when we don’t work in concert with others. The notion of understanding how you as a separate person have a right to make choices, also allows you to have more to give to others. It also helps you to assert how you want to be treated within your love and work relationships.

Mr. “No” is doing a better job setting priorities. He reported that a once-distant colleague at work copied his “gesture” and bought a “NO” button of his own. They went out together for lunch this week.

My young friend would like everything to go her way, for sure.  She’ll learn, I hope for her,  that there is much more likelihood of getting what she wants with a little more cooperation.

Life is better with friends, lovers … and the right kind of boundaries.

                                                            THINK ABOUT THIS


  1. Don’t allow yourself to get used up.
  2. Your own thoughts feelings and needs are important too.
  3. Respect the thoughts, feelings and needs of others.
  4. Learn to say “NO, maybe next time,” when it is appropriate
  5. Remember that it’s hard to be cooperative if you over–commit.
  6. Creating boundaries will help you like yourself more and… cause more people to ultimately respect, hear, and to like you.
  7. Recognize that acquiring a new habit, like taking better care of yourself… as a separate and worthy person…  may initially shake up your relationships. All for the best, though.
  8. Get help if you need it.






Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

great blogNovember 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

great blog,hubbind


ElizabethNovember 19, 2019 at 6:28 pm

Love this! Thanks for the great take always ❤️


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