Turns out that couples that watch TV together in bed… the same show that is… also reported more physical intimacy than those without TVs in their bedroom.
ANOTHER MARITAL MYTH SHOT TO HELL.
Makes sense, don’t you think, given how dependent we’ve all become on personal technology.
Sharing any activity builds marital bonds. Watching a show you both love from bed or anywhere feels friendlier and much less isolating than hanging out on separate screens, tablets or smart phones.
I met a very unhappy couple recently whose marriage seemed in jeopardy because they couldn’t agree about whether or not to have a TV in their bedroom.
Should such a disagreement qualify as an over-the-top–marital-deal- breaker? Really?
THINK ABOUT THIS
Democrats marry Republicans and meat eaters marry vegetarians and they all… at least some of them… claim to make it work.
“A TV is a tangible item; It’s either in the bedroom or its not,” insisted ‘Tony’. “I vote “Yes”.
His new wife is outraged. “I vote NO,” said ‘Sarah.’
- “I need your undivided attention for one hour a night before we fall asleep. Pillow talk makes me feel close to you and reminds me how much I love you.
- “And… I’ll admit… it’s not even just you. After that hour, I like to download my day in my own head as I fall asleep. I can’t do that with the TV on.
Tony says:
- “TV is relaxing and entertaining… it’s a super way to end a day. I want to share these experiences with you. Where better to do it but in bed?
- “I also like to start the day with the morning news. Nothing like being caught off guard by not knowing about something important.
- “I love you Sarah and our intimacy is important to me too. Remember that TVs can also be turned off.”
No simple answer here. ( Remember: The all-important sex ad intimacy argument has been already been thrown out with the current research.)
BEST TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO COMPROMISE
If there is absolutely no wiggle room, it doesn’t bode well for your marriage.
So, in the name of love and in the quest for marital harmony:
- you may want to take a trial run with a TV in the bedroom.
- Wear headphones to accommodate your partner.
- Agree to keep violent and/or emotionally charged programming out of sight in the bedroom.
- Keep the TV out of sight altogether when not in use. Hide it behind closed doors.
- Take pains to schedule ample conversation time with your partner. Agree to try to never let a TV… or a smart phone… interfere with any kind of intimate communication between you and your partner.
Then agree to evaluate your compromise on a regular basis.
As for Tony’s need to be entertained and Sarah’s wish for fewer distractions in bed, I do hope, for their sake, that they can find a solution that outwits their TV.
Email Dr. Linda
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