I am a LOVE doctor.  My blog has most always been about the pleasures and pain associated with all kinds of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP connection. This one is no exception.

Lately, because of our troubling times, and as I suffer along with everyone else, I take notice about how under whatever level of quarantine, relationships seem to be under a painful-to look-at magnifying glass.

For sure, some people have thrived and even enjoyed the opportunity of time for new kinds of connection and activity.  Most of us, though, no matter how embarrassed, suffer from a bit of “FOMO,” as we peek in on those who seek to manage best.

I think I’m in good company when I admit how much I miss shopping…  killing a few hours… mingling maskless…  walking freely among others and enjoying visual temptations. I used to LOVE doing that. I always came home with a smile and new energy, even when I made no purchases. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to do that again.

But, the lack of the right kind of social contact wins out as a greater challenge. All but one     self- described “FASHIONISTA” on whom I tested this idea, agreed. She sort of laughed when she told me how important shopping in the mall was for her.

Most likely, you’ve had your moments too; you might look at your husband and think, “Was he always like this?” or question why someone you’ve always thought cared about you, doesn’t call. “She used to call more … you think.” You may be afraid to reach out to her and appear too vulnerable.

For those who live alone, the absence of human contact and / or touch, can be crazy-making.

If you live with someone… or even if you live within a family, no need to take out an actual magnifier. There is such a thing as too much togetherness, which can be as bad or even worse, than too much time alone.

Those Zoom hours, helpful at first, are starting to feel old. Diets and exercise-commitments are out of whack. Sometimes, nothing seems right.

(FYI: Those who remember to make an effort to celebrate and concentrate on feeling grateful… for whatever… say it makes them feel better.)


The media is reflecting our LOVE-NEED. That’s good. The newest issue of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, for example, is all about LOVE. Their meta-analysis was cautionary and found that “social relationships were more predictive of warding off mortality that quitting smoking or exercising.” (This is not an invitation to start smoking… from them or from me.)

We know we need LOVE/ FRIENDSHIP… perhaps now… more than ever. Applause to you, if you’ve gotten creative in finding ways to connect and/or re-connect with people who are and have been important to you.

With the world… personal or global…  in chaos, there’s a human pull to call on a relative who you may not have seen for a while, or to reach out to an old friend in an attempt to restore or a sense of stability.

Nothing like a global pandemic, economic unrest, and socio-political turmoil, for inspiration.

 Don’t be afraid to make a few calls or virtual visits. A little vulnerability can go a log way to make someone else, who may also be suffering, smile.

And, if you are quarantined with your spouse or lover, think about being extra kind and forgiving. This may be the moment to dip into that “EMOTIONAL PIGGY BANK” that psychologists and love doctors like to talk about.

More about that next time.








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