TIGER MOM 1

Amy Chau, the infamous  “TIGER MOM,” and contract lawyer from Yale University, has now presented her grown up kids with a “rental agreement.”

Really???

Amy and her husband, Jed, the father of her daughters, live in the suburbs of New York and have a well-loved, pied-a terre in the city, which was once their first apartment.

 -The girls, 20 and 23, didn’t ask… they just “announced” their plan to stay their parents “escape pad” for the summer, to accommodate their jobs in the city and to be close to their friends.

Amy, the “Tiger Mom” was fuming. I sort of understand. I just wonder who and what she was really mad about.

  She said she felt like she “was about to become a tenant farmer in her own life”. And then she made her kids sign… are you ready for this… a “legally enforceable” rental document.

TIGER 3

The contract included descriptions of duties and conditions.

THE DAUGHTERS COULD STAY IN THE APARTMENT IF THEY AGREED:


1.to occupy only the junior bedroom
2. tokeep things neat and tidy
3.to make sure all internal doors are kept open
4.to puff up pillows
5.to refrain from using the phrase “Relax, its no big deal”
6.to be polite and conversational to guests of the parents
7.to make sure there is orange juice in the frig for Dad whenever he is in town
8.to walk their dogs without being asked to do so
9.to understand that they will not be excused from these responsibilities because of illness or hangovers or mental break-downs whether their own or of any friends
10.to understand that either parent has the right to restrict them access and change the locks, if necessary, should any of the rules be violated.

  I was outraged, you understand, not because I think adult children shouldn’t be held to rules of civility. Those of you who have read my words before, know how I feel about entitlement and its dangers… affluenza destroys lives, for sure.

On the other hand, children who are taught to appreciate the gifts bestowed on them and who have learned the joys associated with self-responsibility, become adults with whom most parents would be proud to hang. There would be no need for such a document. A clear and gentle agreement would do the job.
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 I was outraged because Amy… who gives parenting advice… thought it necessary to resort to such drastic measures to insure that her now grown-up children would behave… and by her standards. (It is her house, after all.)

Truth be told, the demands, by themselves, weren’t even unreasonable. She’s just now elevated what it means to be a controlling, “helicopter,” “concierge” Mom to new absurdity.

I know that many parents, who are even a little guilty of over-indulging their kids, may read this and laugh… and maybe even learn something from Amy’s folly.

  The story works well as a comedy bit because it touches a truth.

 I’d like to think, though, that if I were one of Amy’s daughters, that the lure of “free” rent in NYC still wouldn’t be enough to keep me from looking for some other place else to stay for the summer.

LOL. I know that’s a stretch.

 


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