At a point of anger, have you ever out and accused your spouse, or someone else close to you, of “MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING?”
Have you ever blown off a loved one, with a sarcastic, “GOOD LUCK,” to mean, that there would be nothing short of miracle that will make whatever he/she said come about?
Have you ever been guilty of saying to someone you say you love, “I TOLD YOU SO,” only to make things worse?
Have you ever uttered, “I DON’T CARE,” to someone important to you, about something important to him/her.
Have you ever retaliated with an “I KNEW YOU’D BRING THAT UP” comment?
How about, a sarcastic, “NEVER MIND… I’LL DO IT MYSELF.”
In a moment of total frustration, have you ever shouted “JUST SHUT UP?” to someone super-important to you?
Bet you didn’t achieve what you wanted.
Maybe you are already perfect. If not, and you want someone you love to really know it, pay attention, not only what you do… but of what you say and how you say it.
In my ZUMBA class, we joyfully, dance to the song. “SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME”. The words and music would make most people smile.
“Oh don’t you dare look back
Just keep your eyes on me
I said you’re holding back
She said, SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME
This woman is my destiny
She said oh oh oh
SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME”
Under other less romantic circumstances, telling someone you love to “SHUT UP,” is not likely to do much to resolve anything.
Even when you’re seething inside and you know you are right, try taking a deep breath before responding. There’s nothing to lose.
You probably didn’t want him/her to shut up anyway. If you really care about this person, what you wanted was to communicate and to have him/her do the same. Best to do this when you’ve calmed down and are prepared to use kinder words. Are you with me?
Admit to whoever it is, who you love enough to make you this angry, that it would be best to table the discussion to tonight or tomorrow or whenever.
Make sure the time-delay is specific, though.
Think about this:
The definition of LOVE is “a profoundly tender, affection for another person.”
And then, remember that LOVE never insulates anyone from arguments and inevitable disagreements.
It is good news, though, that if you so chose, you can learn to express frustrations in a way more likely to achieve a satisfactory result.
Email Dr. Linda
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