If you are a female, chances are you mother gave you some lessons about how to get and keep a man.
Or maybe you got your “LOVE INFO” from friends… or from a book.
“THE RULES,” was first published in 1995 during a time when women …. and men were beginning to feel free from rules which had made them feel like antagonists from different planets.
This book promoted GENDER STEREOTYPING and felt like a giant step backward for mankind…. as well as for womankind.
Old-fashioned parents of the times, agreed with the authors who offered up alienating ideas such as:
1. Don’t stare at men or talk too much.
2.“Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday”
3. “Don’t Ever Tell Him What To Do”
4.Become a “Rules girl,” by getting in shape.
5. If you have a bad nose, get a nose job.
SURPRISE…too often it was the nose job… or boob job which became permanent… but not the man.
Those “mis-guided,” folks promoted a commitment to deceiving the object your affection and changing yourself to suit him.
There’s got to be a better way to love and to cohabitate with the opposite sex.
Consider the possibility that there is something really, really great about re-thinking and eliminating outdated sexual stereotypes that continue to hang on..
I’ve got some good news…
There is an especially loud call for newer “rules” from the young people I know.
Consider these stereotypical notions, for example, that today’s kids seem to be turning upside down:
- Real men don’t cry (Turns out crying is not and should not be seen as a sign of weakness. Real men do cry and most women love men who are willing to show their vulnerabilities)
- A successful marriage requires that a man make more money than his wife. (You may argue this one but stats show that this stereotype no longer holds up. Lots of successful marriages include equal or higher-earning women. More than ever before, men and women are chosing life-partners who more equally match in education and financial ability.)
- Girls should be quiet and passive. (How outdated and destructive is that?)
For sure, there are some old-fashioned ideas which still hold up. But, some of that old “relationship advice” may not be as sound as you once thought.
This new “ME-TOO” generation is likely to push us all forward to reconsider that men and women can be friends after all, and that sexual stereotyping should not be allowed to mess up the romantic possibility of truly loving and congenial relationships.
Trust me: I’m the Love Doctor.
Email Dr. Linda
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