I’ve dared to imply that over-indulged children may end up causing grief for other family members, as well as for themselves.
In my mailbox were letters from so many parents. Perhaps it was the term, “AFFLUENZA,” which attracted the attention.
“Affluenza” is NOT a mental condition, at least, not yet. Never the less, it has been used to excuse the wealthy from crimes committed because of living a life with little responsibility and accountability.
Author PAUL COMSTOCK appears to be the first to have cleverly combined the words “affluent” and “influenza”.
He defines “affluenza” as a condition, affecting children from affluent families, who grow up with a distorted sense of entitlement, a lack of self- discipline and motivation, low self-esteem and little appreciation about the connection between work and reward.
Comstock suggests that kids raised this way, may be especially vulnerable to feelings of personal incompetence and unhappiness.
Is there anything you can do now, if your kids have been handed too much of a good thing, for too long… albeit with the best of intentions? Sure, there is. It is never too late to do better..
FIRST STEP IS SOME PERSONAL INTROSPECTION:
• How important have your “trophies” been to you? (I had teenager in my office recently, who insisted that his dad knew more about his boat than he knew about him.)
• Are you really capable of enjoying your own well-earned “toys” without having them define you? (The fruits of privilege can be wonderful, or they can cause havoc. (To raise healthy kids, it is a good idea to find a way to model how to keep the value of “things” in perspective.
• Could you be guilty of being perceived by your kids, as pumping up your own self-worth by bragging to others about what you have and/or who you know?
There’s much more you can do, but here are a few suggestions to help your kids enjoy and benefit from your own success… without hurting the chances for their own:
1. Recognize that when you have a few extra bucks in your pocket and your adorable child is begging for this or that, it is often difficult to resist. Which doesn’t mean, though, that you should give in to their whim of the moment.
2. Don’t be the parent who provides the newest and greatest, most expensive fad item first, so that junior can beat out the other kids in the acquisition game. Being the “cool” parent is not worth the consequences.
3. Avoid the trap of feeding your child’s emotional hunger with possessions. because you are feeling guilty about not spending enough time with her or him.
4. Make sure that you provide a way for your child to earn that which he/she wishes for. That which is earned is always so much sweeter.
5. Spend time with your kids doing their thing… not just yours.
6. Be a solid backboard for them. Have rules that mean something and stick. Children need to be able to count on your consistency.
7. Teach them to save money, spend money and to be generous to those less fortunate.
8. Promote empathy, by example, with your own words and deeds.
THINK ABOUT THIS:
“THINGS” can be great, but the very best “THINGS” in life, turn out not to be “THINGS” after all.
Email Dr. Linda
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