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“How to Kiss,” beat out “How to crochet,” barely, as the most frequent “how to” question asked, according to Google. “How to crochet” came in as a close second this year.

I’m not making this up. With so much mistletoe around, I thought it was worth mentioning. Do people really need kissing instruction?

I always thought a kiss was something like a joint signature, created by two people. A unique expression. Crocheting, on the other hand, looks pretty much the same, no matter who does it. There is yarn, a “formula” and some patterns, which can be taught… and learned.


Kissing is just not like that. No two people kiss each other in exactly the same way. No, I can’t know that for sure… I can’t even imagine up a research project, which could measure this idea.

But, I’m pulling rank. I am the Love Doctor and I think it is true.

“YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS. A KISS IS JUST A KISS” … and if it makes your head spin … you (plural) are probably doing something right.

The New York Times Magazine cover story last week was about kissing… in the movies. On film, as in real life, a kiss is always charged with some kind of meaning. Question? Yearning? Adventure? Romance? Hostility? Defiance? Anger? Lust?

Is the kiss like a “gateway drug?” Does it seal the deal? Is this a moment that captures first love… maybe it’s the real thing.

Sometimes, it can even mean goodbye, like in the movie, “Wild,” where the only show of intimacy was in the tender kiss a couple shared, after signing their divorce papers. They are never to be together again.

Most movies include a kiss, which sometimes can create a technical problem for film-makers. With few exceptions, the actual kiss, as well as the portrayal of sex, is not nearly as interesting as the sexual tension that precedes it.

Sure, watching other people indulge in a choreographed version of a well-executed kiss, can be fun for movie-goers. What’s true, though, is that in real life, the shared kiss is a unique experience, known only to the participating partners.

If you celebrate Christmas, my advice is to make good use of that mistletoe. If you don’t, it shouldn’t be too hard to find another kissing excuse.

Here’s to a Happy Holiday … and to a New Year filled with love. Whatever that means for you.

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