Picture of Dr. Linda Algazi, Ph.D

When daughters who say they are marriage-minded, get sick of hanging out with undependable, bad-boy, boyfriends, they’re likely to pay more attention to Mom’s advice:

“In this turbulent ever-changing world, safe and predictable men have always made the best husbands.”

Flash forward ten or twenty years and these same daughters (and some of their moms) secretly, if not otherwise, crave a little of the awe-inspiring excitement they once felt with those no-good men.

Veteran husbands crave novelty too, even if their wives doubt it.

Love, respect and commitment aside, each secretly believes the other to be incapable of change, let alone of a little more awe and wonderment.

For some, I guess this all right.

Bottled “passion,” would be a sure-fire marketing winner. Forget Viagra, Cialis and the like. Drugs have nothing to do with what I am talking about.

Remember “Bridges of Madison County”? That book jumped to the top of the best-seller lists for good reason. And now it’s been made into a popular Broadway play.

The story has to do with a married woman, who loves her husband of many years but has her head turned anyway, by a total stranger who passes through town. Why? Because she sees a reflection of the girl she had once been, in his eyes.

Almost everyone can use a reminder about how easy it is to forget to recognize your long-term partner for just being a woman or for just being a man. Those who manage to do so, insulate their relationships a bit more than others, from interlopers.

Conventional wisdom suggests that when things are going well in marriage, sex and all the things that go with it, follow naturally. This is mainly true, I think.

Couples who invest time in each other and their relationships, who keep excitement in their lives, separately and together, who laugh together, who have lots of friends and who take care of themselves health-wise and spiritually, are likely to have good sex lives too.

But what also is true is that is that there are times that it may be a chicken and egg thing. A few adjustments in the bedroom may offer a way to heal other marriage issues. The struggle for power in a relationship as well as issues of vulnerability often permeate all areas of a love relationship.

What awe-inspiring love idea could you come up with today? Share it with your spouse…. and then with me, if it works.

Email Dr. Linda

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment