I’ve always loved fireworks on July 4th; so don’t call me a spoilsport as you read this. “Fireworks,” just takes on different meaning in the world of family counselors and psychologists.
If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, you know what I mean. Could you do a better job handling whatever emotional “fireworks” exist on your home front?
Next time there is a problem, I hope you resolve to think before you speak, even in the height of your anger or disappointment.
“Right,” you say. “Lots of luck.”
Remember, nasty words can continue to resonate long after you’ve recovered.
In the heat of the moment, except, of course, when there is a threat of physical danger, resist walking away from your loved one until some sort of decision has been made. . Even if it is to postpone a more reasonable conclusion to some specific time, when each of you has had a time to calm down.
After you take a run or play with your kids… you’re likely to come back with a fresh perspective.
Always honor your promise to continue the conversation.
Then at the designated resolution time, if you still can’t agree, “trade” to get some satisfaction in another area.
An altercation is an opportunity to improve communication and to learn to love each other more effectively.
Kiss and make up, do it again and then talk about what happened; how you can do it better next time. This conversation will serve you well.
No “fireworks” in your relationship? None? Uh oh. Somebody’s lying. Or somebody doesn’t care enough.
Sweet sharing is like “money” in an “emotional bank account”. You can save it up for when the going gets tough.
Happy Fourth!
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