Picture of Dr. Linda Algazi, Ph.D on June 30, 2008


A good friend confides in you. Now it feels like a burden because you’re dying to tell your husband (and your designated BFF) what you’ve just heard.

Can you keep a secret or do you end up telling, swearing others to secrecy and passing along that “burden?”

Take this test and check out your score to reveal your ability to be discreet

1. You’ve just turned 29 or 45:

  1. You tell everyone your age… proudly.
  2. You tell some people but there are times when you avoid the issue… or even lie a bit.
  3. You claim you don’t remember how old you are if anyone asks!
  4. You swear your family to secrecy when it comes to your age. You bribe your kid bro to claim he’s the older one.

2. You have three BFF’s:

  1. You tell them every detail about your marital love life and they tell you about theirs.
  2. You never share information about your intimacies with your husband or lover. You’re afraid of boring your pals.
  3. You share generalities about your love life, but only in the broadest terms. (We have a good time together.)
  4. You share info about all aspects of your relationship except about what happens in bed. You hold that information sacred.

3. You have a shady family history:

  1. You share your stories about drunk old uncle-so-n- so and his troubles with the law, or about your sister who ran off with the circus. You use humor expecting that others will laugh off your embarrassments.
  2. You are selective in who you tell.
  3. You lie about where you came from.
  4. You will admit that you are related to the old bum, if pressed. But otherwise, you keep it quiet.

4. You go to therapy:

  1. Your BFF’s all know about your journey. You share with them all your new insights on a session-by-session basis.
  2. You are selective in what you share with your pals.
  3. You are tight-lipped about your therapy. You are not ashamed to be seeing a therapist but you don’t want anyone to look at you funny and think you are neurotic.
  4. Everyone you know, and some you even don’t, know about your therapy. You feel that this is a good way to increase intimacy with others.

5. You and your spouse are suffering terrible financial difficulties:

  1. Your very best friend would know all the details and a few others would guess.
  2. No one, including your family would know anything about your finances.
  3. Your mom or your best pal would know about your income, but not about your money problems.
  4. Everyone would know, because you would tell them.

Count up your points as follows, get a total, and look to see how well you can keep secrets!
1. a.4   b.2   c.1   d.2
2. a.4   b.3   c.1   d,2
3. a.4   b.3   c.2   d.1
4. a.2   b.3   c.1   d.4
5. a.3   b.1   c.2   d.4

You can keep a secret! (The CIA might be a good career choice). It’s most likely, however, that friends will not confide in you. Why? Because you are so secretive about your own affairs, and the people who care about you may assume that you have little interest in what’s happening with them.
Dr. Linda says: Share a bit more about yourself, even when it’s not pretty. Your friendships may deepen!

Friends value your tactful ability to keep their confidences. Your loved ones know that you will never betray them even if you are off guard. You don’t bleed your own personal stuff inappropriately, but you have no trouble confiding in close friends. To be able to be both candid and discreet is a gift!
Dr. Linda says: Congratulations.!

You share a lot with your friends and in turn, they do the same with you. Your charming and open nature can get you in trouble when and if you just get carried away with the fun of delicious gossip. You are clever enough, however to cover up your slips.
Dr. Linda says: Think before you speak to avoid some remorse!

You like nothing more than telling a good story about yourself or other sometimes the yawn-factor takes over. It’s hard for you to keep a secret because enhancing a good tale with some juicy gossip may seem irresistible. Then what you say may be hard to fix.
Dr. Linda says: Avoid problems for yourself and others by not trusting your own intuition in telling a story. Edit them in advance and your friendships will get even better!

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