Take This Intimacy Challenge – It came straight from the mouth of this marriage counselor: Spend 12 hours of non-sleeping time in a room together, with no television, no computer and no reading material.
“No problem,” said the couple that I’ll call Bonnie and Scott.
Actually, I think any new-sounding proposal would have been welcomed as an antidote to the boredom which had become the recurring theme in their marriage.
As the #1 marriage wrecker, boredom often does a sneaky job. Bonnie and Scott can’t even pinpoint the time when theirs had become such a blah, ho-hum relationship. They each knew they were longing for the intimacy they once shared. Since neither wanted a divorce, they welcomed my suggestion.
After checking into the “No Tell Motel” at 10 o’clock in the morning, they vowed to remain awake and attentive until 10 o’clock that evening. Room service would provide food. They had no other props.
When the door closed, each looked at the other and laughed nervously.
Bonnie asked, “Did you remember to give your mom the medical release for the kids?”
“Yes,” said Scott.
“I can’t believe I forgot to remind Johnny to take his retainer.”
At the moment, Scott didn’t care about Johnny’s retainer. “Don’t touch that TV, “he said to Bonnie as she made a gesture toward turning it on.
“I forgot,” she said.
It was only 10:15 AM. They had 11 hours and 45 minutes to go.
When you are out of practice, intimate communication can be tough. Bonnie and Scott are not much different than the rest of us. Actually they’re ahead of most because they have been willing to risk the challenge to their marital boredom.
Interesting partnerships and exciting lives require creative problem solving and positive action!
Are you up for the challenge?
Bonnie and Scott survived their escapade. As the day wore on, their tensions eased. Before the 10 o’clock deadline had passed, they had made love twice and had indulged in hours of even greater intimacy, talking about the things that had really mattered to each of them.
Now its our turn.
Email Dr. Linda
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