Therapy Stories

THE FIFTH GRADE BULLY… AND YOU

February 28, 20165TH GRADE ANGST

I heard a man talking about his fifth grade “HERO” during a “MOTH RADIO HOUR.”  If you also felt that you were out-of-step with what you imagined you were supposed to be thinking or feeling, you’ll appreciate this story.  I’ve written before, about my fifth grade nemesis… the  “BULLY.” This time, I won’t use her […]

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EVERYONE HAS “EROGENOUS” ZONES

September 11, 2015Blog

The book Dr.Wayne Dyer wrote in the 70’s, had nothing to do with sex. Look fast and “ERRONEOUS” could READ, “EROGENOUS.”      The title is what sold this book… at least initially. Dr .WAYNE DYER   tricked us into paying attention. His book had absolutely nothing to do with sex. And then… we discovered that it […]

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nice guy

“Nice” Guys Have More Sex

June 7, 2015Blog

June 7, 2015 When’s the last time you winked at your spouse across the room? Or thanked him/her for all the things he does for you? Those would be really nice things to do. For marital happiness, I believe being “nice” is even more important than knowing the right way to “listen” and to communicate. […]

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wife

George’s Jealous Wife

May 26, 2015Blog

May 26, 2015 A man I’ll call “George,” called me several months ago. “Help,” he said. “My wife thinks I’m having an affair. She’s obsessed with everything I do. She checks out what I’m wearing. She checks out my underwear. No kidding. I bought new underwear because the old ones were tearing and she got […]

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too much texting

Etiquette For Over-Aged “Texters”

April 5, 2015Blog

April 5, 2015 “Carol,” 53, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she talked about how texting had almost led her to “romantic” folly. Newly single, “Carol” hadn’t been on a date for twenty-five years. . Then, walking her dog on Balboa Island, she met “Hal,” who invited her to coffee. She thought he […]

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two karate chop break ups

Two “Karate Chop” Break-Ups

February 16, 2015Blog

February 16, 2015 More couples are likely to split up in January than in any other month. The resulting chaos is great for February magazines at super-market check-stands. “Un-love” stories of the 99% of us who aren’t especially tabloid-worthy can be just as devastating… we are just not as likely to hear about them. Unless […]

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Drama junkie

Drama “Junkies” and Their Partners

January 31, 2015Blog

January 31, 2015 “At midnight, on New Year’s Eve, my wife, the ‘Drama Queen’ kissed me passionately and then screamed, so loud that the whole neighborhood could hear. She told me that last year was the worst year of our marriage and that I should pack my things and leave. This wasn’t the first time. […]

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cuddles

“Cuddles For Hire” and January Drama

January 9, 2015Blog

January 9, 2015 This morning, “The Wall Street Journal” included a feature article about how the “Cuddle For Hire” business is taking off, even though — “clothes are staying on”. Really? The proponents insist their service has nothing to do with sex and that what they offer instead is hugs, nuzzles and tickles for about […]

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steamy

Ticket Back to Hot Sex

November 3, 2014Blog

November 3, 2014 Interested in hot sex? –“RE-KINDLING” has to come first. That is… if you’re thinking about having it with the same old partner. Think “campfire”. You have to start slow to reach the big flames. Talking is a very good place to start. Don’t roll you eyes, Gentlemen. Women are always claiming that […]

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rail

Getting a Marriage Back on Track

September 15, 2014Blog

September 15, 2014 After reading my last blog entry, (Divorce Predictors, September 4th 2014), Hilda wrote: “I get that the marriages you describe are in jeopardy, but what now? Can these marriages ever be saved?” Sometimes they can, Hilda. Some people learn from their bad experiences and move on to healthier relationships with or without […]

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predictors

Divorce Predictors

September 4, 2014Blog

September 4, 2014 Once, Holly’s life with Jeff was enviable, filled with all kinds of adventure and anticipation. They invested an enviable amount of time in their relationship. “Once upon a time,” she says, “things were perfect.” These days,” she says, she feels like he’d rather be with anyone, but me. I have become a […]

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quote

He Can So Change

August 10, 2014Blog

August 10, 2014 “Larry,” 46, is on a mission of self discovery. A mid-life crisis? Maybe. In any event, his therapy has been centered around re-thinking his own self-image. I first met Larry six months ago. He was, by his own admission, twenty pounds, over-weight. His exercise program was “stalled,” he says, because of a […]

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scary

“Love” Can Be Scary

March 23, 2014Blog

March 23, 2014 “Love” is so powerful that it can turn your world upside down and inside out. It can be downright scary. When it works, though, there’s nothing quite like it and makes even a bumpy ride seem worthwhile. If you’ve ever loved, surely you agree. But should you become single again, chances are […]

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ghost stories

Ghost Stories of the Heart

October 30, 2013Blog

October 30, 2013 Maybe it’s because it’s Halloween. Or maybe not. Just seems that everyone has a ghost-sighting story to tell and that all too often, the stories have something to do with romance.. “Brett’s” mom died twenty years ago, but he insists she came to him in his sleep with a clear message: “Marry […]

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Private Eye

Need a Private Eye? Not So Fast

October 9, 2013Blog

October 9, 2013 A woman I’ll call “Molly” came to see me after spending a weekend at spa resort with her friend who I’ll call “Jody.” Their husbands were off playing in a golf tournament. Molly was upset because her friend revealed that her husband had asked for a vacation from their marriage. Jody’s husband […]

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Cultures

Delicious Cultural Differences

May 30, 2013Blog

May 30, 2013 A Chinese lady… a lovely, slender woman gave me a gift. It came wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of course.” Inside were 12 or so thin cookies wrapped in what looked like […]

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april 1st

April Fools

April 1, 2013Blog

April 1, 2013 “Jen” sort of cried, “Yes, I love him. For sure, more than I did yesterday. Yesterday, “Chad” was a jerk again.” What did he do? “He flirted with a waitress. I hate when that happens.” Maybe he was just being nice, “Jen.” Don’t you hate it when you see people acting “entitled” […]

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serious?

How “Serious” is Your Relationship?

February 14, 2013Blog

February 14, 2013 Do you remember when you decided that your love relationship became “SERIOUS” Do you remember what you told your friends, your parents? By “SERIOUS,” I don’t think you meant “grave”, or “stern” or “humorless.” You were in love and it was fun. That’s what you were trying to communicate. “He’s special.” “She’s […]

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2 couples

When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You

September 18, 2012Blog

September 18, 2012 When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You – It just seemed weird. To celebrate their eleventh anniversary, a couple I’ll call “Steve” and “Anne” had dinner alone. The restaurant was rated with four stars; the food was fine. Each of them made a special effort to look attractive and well dressed […]

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couple avoiding each other

Men and Women Avoiding Intimacy

August 18, 2012Blog

August 18, 2012 MEN AVOIDING INTIMACY – When and if a husband, like “Rob”, is tempted out of his “fidelity,” it is likely to be by some other woman who admires him and seems to find him irresistible, in person. She doesn’t have to balance a checkbook, keep the house neat or get along with […]

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men who cheat

Men Who Cheat

May 29, 2011Blog

May 29, 2011 Men Who Cheat – A man told me he’s been faithful to his wife since his 45th birthday. How old are you? I asked. “Forty-five and two weeks,” he answered. What’s really up when a man cheats on his wife? Sometimes, not much, according to at least one survey, which by the […]

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friends

RX For Making Friends

November 2, 2010Blog

November 2, 2010 What Really Makes You Happy? – “Mark,” 43, a usually successful man, had always identified himself as a “happy introvert.” Now, in an economic crisis, he has begun to re-think his need for others. He says he really needs a friend and that his wife is no help because she is too […]

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Married Woman

Why Married Women Flirt

August 31, 2010Blog

August 31, 2010 Why Married Women Flirt – Suppose you were at a party with your beautiful wife, who you notice had made more extraordinary efforts than usual to look great. She wore tight jeans, a top, cut just a little too low for your taste, and shoes you had never seen before. “Jimmy Choo’s,” […]

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two hours

Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist

May 3, 2010Blog

May 3, 2010 Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist – A Chinese lady… a lovely, thin gentle Chinese woman gave me a gift today. It was carefully wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of […]

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not even Valentine's day

It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2010Blog

February 16, 2010 It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day – On a more ordinary Wednesday, John asked his girlfriend, Susan to play hooky from work and to meet him at a favorite spot near the beach. “Bring a picnic lunch,” he said. “I’ll bring the champagne.” When Susan arrived at the designated corner, she found John […]

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annes story

Laura Learns From Anne’s Story

May 3, 2009Blog

May 3, 2009 Laura Learns From Anne’s Story – “Okay, I get it,” said Laura, after reading about Anne, who had been emotionally stuck in an ex-marriage which had ended so long ago.(Click here to read about Ann.) “Tom, my ex, has re-married and he and his wife have a new baby.” It’s done me […]

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ex-wife

The Ex-Wife Syndrome

April 23, 2009Blog

April 23, 2009 The Ex-Wife Syndrome – It was Anne’s first appointment with me and I knew nothing about her. I asked about her life. I’m miserable,” she said. “Sad all the time. Maybe Jack’s right. He says I’ve always been a downer.” Who is Jack? I asked. “Jack’s the man I married twenty-five years […]

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too soon

Too Soon For Marriage? Divorce?

April 5, 2009Blog

April 5, 2009 Too Soon For Marriage? Divorce? – Sometimes, a person makes a huge mistake by marrying someone they shouldn’t. This is more likely to happen when passionate commitments are made too soon. Sometimes people, driven by a passion of another sort, divorce too hastily. Often, these are the same people. Their smart divorce […]

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control

To Control Jealousy, Look to Yourself

January 26, 2009Blog

January 26, 2009 To Control Jealousy, Look to Yourself – A man I’ll call “George,” who I had never met, called me several months ago. “Help,” he said. “My wife thinks I’m having an affair. She’s obsessed with everything I do. She checks out what I’m wearing. She checks out my underwear. I’m not kidding. […]

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old friend

Learning About Love From an Old Friend

January 19, 2009Blog

January 19, 2009 Learning About Love From an Old Friend – An old friend gave himself a birthday party this weekend, It was a celebration of love and accomplishment. At the risk of sounding sentimental and icky, I was happy to be included and I’ll admit it… I cried. He and his wife have remained […]

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ceo

‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged

October 21, 2008Blog

October 21, 2008 ‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged – News Flash: How much you suffer from these unsettling times depends not only on the value of your portfolio. Real survivors are those who are  insulated by things, other than financial! I know a man I’ll call, “John Doe.” Along with the rest of us, John […]

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couple

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

October 12, 2008Blog

October 12, 2008 Can This Marriage Be Saved? – When a person is desperate and unhappy, when things don’t seem to him to be going his way, when he feels irrelevant, unloved, unimportant and hopeless, what he does next is not necessarily a description of his real character. No, I’m not excusing murder, mayhem, slander, […]

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