Divorce

LOVE, POLITICS AND VALENTINE FANTASIES

February 12, 2017"cracked" communication

In her photo, she was in a sexy ice suit, climbing the glaciers in Patagonia. He swiped to the right. They met with what felt like instant chemistry; It was just after Christmas. Sugarplum dreams danced in her head, thinking that this VALENTINE’S DAY, finally, would be special. Here was a girl, he thought, who […]

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COPING WITH RELATIONSHIP BREAK-UPS

January 5, 2017"fractured families

Since there is nothing like the high of a wonderful romance, when a relationship ends the fall from grace can feel catastrophic, even when it is ultimately for the best. Still, nobody likes giving up on a dream. Depending on how long you’ve been coupled, breaking up is much more than losing… or even dismissing… […]

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WHEN MEN “STONEWALL”

November 12, 2016"cracked" communication

It was the top of the seventh in the third game of the world series. Her intentions may have been good, but her timing sucked. She said: “Honey, we need to talk.” He couldn’t believe his ears. He thinks, “Now? Really?” “I could be naked in front of that TV and you’d ask me to […]

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THE BAD, BAD “D” WORD

September 7, 2016"fractured families

 (Take note:  This  bad, bad  “D” word  has nothing to do with the “Donald.”) There are certain things you should NEVER SAY to your spouse who you claim to love most of the time, even when you are over-the-top angry.  NEVER SAY:  “Whatever” … with that, you know the one… dismissive look on your face. […]

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WHEN FRIENDS DIVORCE

August 14, 2016"fractured families

When “Betsy” came in for her first appointment, she wore big sunglasses to hide her bigger tears. She finally composed herself enough to explain that her friends “Meg” and “Rory” were getting divorced. It is always hard to watch people you care about, in pain, I said. “THEY’RE NOT IN PAIN… I AM,” SHE SAID. […]

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JANUARY: “BREAK-UP” MONTH

January 17, 2016angry spouse

“Nicole” waited until January to ask her husband “Jason” for a divorce. “Nicole” is not alone… January is famous for being “BREAK-UP” month. Ask any family law attorney and you’ll hear about how calendars fill up after the holidays.  Same for marriage counselors, psychologists and love-doctors. The couples we see, though, are usually still open […]

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MAUREEN SAYS SHE WANTS A DIVORCE

September 1, 2015Blog

A wife I’ll call “Maureen” told “Russell,” her husband of eighteen years, that she wanted a divorce… Only then did they make an appointment with this love doctor! They came in fighting. I could hear them through the walls, in my waiting room. I knew this wasn’t going to be much fun. They glared at […]

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divorce prediction

Can Divorce Really Be Predicted?

March 22, 2015Blog

March 22, 2015 “Divorce can be predicted with 91% accuracy and in about five minutes,” says guru psychologist, Dr. John Gottman, who shares his secrets with other mental health professionals. Dr. Gottman’s research demonstrates that when a couple’s communication spirals down too far, certain types of “attacks,” can be so marriage – lethal, that he […]

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two karate chop break ups

Two “Karate Chop” Break-Ups

February 16, 2015Blog

February 16, 2015 More couples are likely to split up in January than in any other month. The resulting chaos is great for February magazines at super-market check-stands. “Un-love” stories of the 99% of us who aren’t especially tabloid-worthy can be just as devastating… we are just not as likely to hear about them. Unless […]

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rail

Getting a Marriage Back on Track

September 15, 2014Blog

September 15, 2014 After reading my last blog entry, (Divorce Predictors, September 4th 2014), Hilda wrote: “I get that the marriages you describe are in jeopardy, but what now? Can these marriages ever be saved?” Sometimes they can, Hilda. Some people learn from their bad experiences and move on to healthier relationships with or without […]

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predictors

Divorce Predictors

September 4, 2014Blog

September 4, 2014 Once, Holly’s life with Jeff was enviable, filled with all kinds of adventure and anticipation. They invested an enviable amount of time in their relationship. “Once upon a time,” she says, “things were perfect.” These days,” she says, she feels like he’d rather be with anyone, but me. I have become a […]

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2 couples

When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You

September 18, 2012Blog

September 18, 2012 When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You – It just seemed weird. To celebrate their eleventh anniversary, a couple I’ll call “Steve” and “Anne” had dinner alone. The restaurant was rated with four stars; the food was fine. Each of them made a special effort to look attractive and well dressed […]

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al

The Successful Marriage of Al and Tipper Gore

June 7, 2010Blog

June 7, 2010 Is the The Gore’s marriage a failure? Really, now? Forty years together, raising a beautiful family, building a successful career, becoming Vice President and Second Lady of the United States, and making a significant mark on the world… that doesn’t sound like much a failure to me. You try being married for […]

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two hours

Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist

May 3, 2010Blog

May 3, 2010 Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist – A Chinese lady… a lovely, thin gentle Chinese woman gave me a gift today. It was carefully wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of […]

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annes story

Laura Learns From Anne’s Story

May 3, 2009Blog

May 3, 2009 Laura Learns From Anne’s Story – “Okay, I get it,” said Laura, after reading about Anne, who had been emotionally stuck in an ex-marriage which had ended so long ago.(Click here to read about Ann.) “Tom, my ex, has re-married and he and his wife have a new baby.” It’s done me […]

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ex-wife

The Ex-Wife Syndrome

April 23, 2009Blog

April 23, 2009 The Ex-Wife Syndrome – It was Anne’s first appointment with me and I knew nothing about her. I asked about her life. I’m miserable,” she said. “Sad all the time. Maybe Jack’s right. He says I’ve always been a downer.” Who is Jack? I asked. “Jack’s the man I married twenty-five years […]

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too soon

Too Soon For Marriage? Divorce?

April 5, 2009Blog

April 5, 2009 Too Soon For Marriage? Divorce? – Sometimes, a person makes a huge mistake by marrying someone they shouldn’t. This is more likely to happen when passionate commitments are made too soon. Sometimes people, driven by a passion of another sort, divorce too hastily. Often, these are the same people. Their smart divorce […]

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jerk

Was John Really the Jerk or Did Carol Just Not Like Him?

August 24, 2008Blog

August 24, 2008 So it turns out that John McCain already had his sights set on Cindy before he left Carol. Sounds to me, from way out here, that Carol was a nice lady, so that when John left her, it was easy to understand the wrath of friends like Ronald and Nancy. Especially since […]

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blogger

Welcome Me To The Electronic Age

May 25, 2008Blog

May 25, 2008 – Welcome me to the electronic age! Writing a blog is like having a few shots of mental botox… it makes me feel young, I’ll try to keep this interesting enough for you to check in from time to time. Thank you for listening… or whatever you call it.

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