Commitment

LOVING COUPLES… WHO FIGHT

March 28, 2017Commitment

Couples who verbally fight with each other, seem to love more than couples who don’t ever seem to disagree.  “Really?” Really. Nobody agrees with anybody all of the time. JUST THINK ABOUT THIS: You have to really trust in the glue that binds you, in order to take on inevitable differences with someone you love. […]

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REAL FRIENDS SHOW UP

December 9, 2016Commitment

Joy’s friends have supported her during her physical challenges this year. She is my daughter-in-law and I am in awe of her and of her and of community of people who have stepped up to help. Look around in your own life to see who it is you trust most. Who are your friends ? […]

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THE BAD, BAD “D” WORD

September 7, 2016"fractured families

 (Take note:  This  bad, bad  “D” word  has nothing to do with the “Donald.”) There are certain things you should NEVER SAY to your spouse who you claim to love most of the time, even when you are over-the-top angry.  NEVER SAY:  “Whatever” … with that, you know the one… dismissive look on your face. […]

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NEVER LIE… “BELIEVE ME!”

August 25, 2016"BELIEVE ME"

 EVERYONE LIES. In fact, there are times lies… kind, “white” lies… can even serve you well. Like when you wife or your friend asks if you look “fat” in some new outfit. Or when the lady in the super market asks, “How are you?” Chances are, she really doesn’t want to know. There are those, […]

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WHEN FRIENDS DIVORCE

August 14, 2016"fractured families

When “Betsy” came in for her first appointment, she wore big sunglasses to hide her bigger tears. She finally composed herself enough to explain that her friends “Meg” and “Rory” were getting divorced. It is always hard to watch people you care about, in pain, I said. “THEY’RE NOT IN PAIN… I AM,” SHE SAID. […]

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“LUST” AT THE CAR WASH: A CAUTIONARY TALE

May 20, 2016challenged by your own moral compass

I spoke to a new dad who was challenged by his own moral compass, enough so, that he shared his story with me, which in turn, inspired me to write  a short, “cautionary” screenplay Everyone who has ever had a baby knows what is feels like to be too exhausted to do much more than […]

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JANUARY: “BREAK-UP” MONTH

January 17, 2016angry spouse

“Nicole” waited until January to ask her husband “Jason” for a divorce. “Nicole” is not alone… January is famous for being “BREAK-UP” month. Ask any family law attorney and you’ll hear about how calendars fill up after the holidays.  Same for marriage counselors, psychologists and love-doctors. The couples we see, though, are usually still open […]

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#2: LOVE YOUR PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE MATE?

January 3, 2016"Gotchas"

You’ve hidden his remote on purpose. UGH. Of course, he had no idea that you would do such a thing. But his passive aggressive quirks have finally got the best of you and you have stooped to fail, with your own set of “GOTCHAS”. Good for you that you’ve taken the first step by recognizing […]

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#1: PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE “GOTCHAS”

December 20, 2015"Gotchas"

                                                                       1. Does your spouse says or do mean things with a smile on his face? 2. Does your “loving” partner verbally comply with your requests but miss the mark, when it comes to follow-through? 3. Does he drive you crazy by consistently postponing or procrastinating doing something that he has promised to do? 4. […]

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FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS

November 22, 2015Commitment

 At it’s best, Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate family and love. It is also a time to remember and salute, those who are no longer with us, and on whose shoulders we stand. Today, I bow to my creative mom. She was a poet, of sorts, with not much of a filter and was […]

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“I’M SORRY”

November 10, 2015apology

You did something wrong, for sure… and you really are sorry. Perhaps you’ve gossiped without knowledge, broke a confidence, let somebody down, or acted selfishly. Maybe you’ve broken a promise. Not to worry; everyone’s been guilty. But for now what you want, is for whatever you did to go on automatic re-wind… and quickly. To […]

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A “BRUIN” IN BALANCE

October 11, 2015BALANCE

My sister’s hubby, a loyal  BRUIN, was one of my favorite people. Not because he’s bowled a 300 game. Never mind that he was professionally successful, adored by his family, proficient in most sports, maker of the best margaritas. He was a guy who knew how to be a good friend and how to have […]

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CHEAPER THAN THERAPY

August 22, 2015Blog

Do you feel ignored by your wife? Do you feel like a nuisance around her? Perhaps your relationship has hit a giant snag? In case you haven’t noticed, romance busters are everywhere. Kid-problems and managing extended family relationships don’t inspire much passion. Perhaps, there are money challenges. Or maybe your issues have to do with […]

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rail

Getting a Marriage Back on Track

September 15, 2014Blog

September 15, 2014 After reading my last blog entry, (Divorce Predictors, September 4th 2014), Hilda wrote: “I get that the marriages you describe are in jeopardy, but what now? Can these marriages ever be saved?” Sometimes they can, Hilda. Some people learn from their bad experiences and move on to healthier relationships with or without […]

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Goals

“Bah Humbug” To Resolutions?

January 6, 2013Blog

January 6, 2013 “Bah Humbug” To Resolutions? – Are you a New Years Resolver? Or do you declare “Bah humbug” and resolve never to make another resolution on New Years Day? Let me re-phase the question. Have you made a “promise” to yourself recently? Sometimes, it’s just easier to deal with a “promise.” In the […]

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love

“Amour”… About Love and the End of Life

December 26, 2012Blog

December 26, 2012 “Amour”… About Love and the End of Life – I think a lot about “love,” even when it’s not the holidays. I read a about relationships and seek out movies about people who care about each other. You’d probably agree that this is a good thing for the “love-doctor” to do. So, […]

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one too many

Infidelity

November 17, 2012Blog

November 17, 2012 Infidelity – The conference at UCI last week-end was about “infidelity.” Not about how to do it, but how to avoid it and/or recover after it has happened. We react with reality TV- like interest and scorn, when national heroes, or our friends, are caught giving in to illicit passions. “How could […]

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2 couples

When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You

September 18, 2012Blog

September 18, 2012 When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You – It just seemed weird. To celebrate their eleventh anniversary, a couple I’ll call “Steve” and “Anne” had dinner alone. The restaurant was rated with four stars; the food was fine. Each of them made a special effort to look attractive and well dressed […]

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sign

When You Sense It’s Time To Move On

November 30, 2011Blog

November 30, 2011 When You Sense It’s Time To Move On – I’m buying a shiny, sleek, glamorous new car today and I feel terrible about it. This new car looks wonderful; it has not even one dent or nick. The leather seats are spotless because they have no history. No one I love has […]

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Be nice and then some

Being Nice is Not Good Enough

January 3, 2011Blog

January 3, 2011 Being Nice is Not Good Enough – Pity the woman who marries a man thinking she can sculpt him in a direction in which he doesn’t want to go. Pity the man who marries a girl, hoping she will never change and stay cast in stone, except when she’s in bed, of […]

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not even Valentine's day

It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2010Blog

February 16, 2010 It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day – On a more ordinary Wednesday, John asked his girlfriend, Susan to play hooky from work and to meet him at a favorite spot near the beach. “Bring a picnic lunch,” he said. “I’ll bring the champagne.” When Susan arrived at the designated corner, she found John […]

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annes story

Laura Learns From Anne’s Story

May 3, 2009Blog

May 3, 2009 Laura Learns From Anne’s Story – “Okay, I get it,” said Laura, after reading about Anne, who had been emotionally stuck in an ex-marriage which had ended so long ago.(Click here to read about Ann.) “Tom, my ex, has re-married and he and his wife have a new baby.” It’s done me […]

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march madness

March Madness and Marriage

March 25, 2009Blog

March 25, 2009 March Madness and Marriage – The basketball frenzy of “March Madness” will go on for another weekend. Most men and some women will indulge, at the expense of other things, like their relationship with less-interested-in-such-things spouses. “I could lay down, nude, in front of the TV this week, and he wouldn’t notice,” […]

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older couple

How To Be Successful In This Marriage or Your Next One

February 18, 2009Blog

February 18, 2009 I’m having post-Valentine’s thoughts. Last week I wrote about my visit to a famous “OC” mall where I conducted a love survey. I remain amazed about what some people will tell an absolute stranger in a mall! One man, who was sort of hanging around and listening to what I was doing, […]

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old friend

Learning About Love From an Old Friend

January 19, 2009Blog

January 19, 2009 Learning About Love From an Old Friend – An old friend gave himself a birthday party this weekend, It was a celebration of love and accomplishment. At the risk of sounding sentimental and icky, I was happy to be included and I’ll admit it… I cried. He and his wife have remained […]

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chance

Is Taking a Chance on Love Really Worth It?

January 10, 2009Blog

January 10, 2009 Of course! Love is worth everything … and I say this knowing how risky falling in love deeply and passionately can be. Falling in love implies vulnerability. That means when we trust another with our heart, we are, indeed, opening ourselves up to being hurt, disappointed and devastated. It’s scary. So why […]

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couple

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

October 12, 2008Blog

October 12, 2008 Can This Marriage Be Saved? – When a person is desperate and unhappy, when things don’t seem to him to be going his way, when he feels irrelevant, unloved, unimportant and hopeless, what he does next is not necessarily a description of his real character. No, I’m not excusing murder, mayhem, slander, […]

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commitment

Personal Commitment Worth Cheering

September 28, 2008Blog

September 28, 2008 Personal Commitment Worth Cheering – Run your first marathon and you’re a hero. Pump enough iron and you’ll be admired. Beat your golf handicap and others will bow. Hooray for your commitment! That kind of commitment is very much in style. It’s troubling though, when commitment to one’s exercise program seems to […]

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blogger

Welcome Me To The Electronic Age

May 25, 2008Blog

May 25, 2008 – Welcome me to the electronic age! Writing a blog is like having a few shots of mental botox… it makes me feel young, I’ll try to keep this interesting enough for you to check in from time to time. Thank you for listening… or whatever you call it.

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