Blog

“KAROSHI” IS A KILLER

March 11, 2017"KAROJISATSU"

I hope you are not a candidate for  “KAROSHI.”  There isn’t even a translatable word in English; closest we can come is to call it “death by overwork.”  “KAROSHI”, according to The International Labor Association, is Japanese and refers to actual death… or work disability… because of one kind of cardiovascular attack or another, like […]

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LOVE, POLITICS AND VALENTINE FANTASIES

February 12, 2017"cracked" communication

In her photo, she was in a sexy ice suit, climbing the glaciers in Patagonia. He swiped to the right. They met with what felt like instant chemistry; It was just after Christmas. Sugarplum dreams danced in her head, thinking that this VALENTINE’S DAY, finally, would be special. Here was a girl, he thought, who […]

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EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

July 30, 2016"cracked" communication

I bet you’ve known someone who was so needy that he or she seemed to want… no… demand… all of your attention. You felt tired, drained after almost every encounter.   You may have been… or are… the victim of an “EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE.”   These people can and will suck you dry, if you let them. If […]

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AT VERY LEAST… BUY A LOTTERY TICKET

June 4, 2016Blog

Forget about your age… I’d bet you have a dream. Everyone sort-of has one. What’s yours? Once you’ve identified it, you already know that magic wands rarely work and that to even give it a shot, you are going to need a really good road map. I was reminded again how enriching it is to […]

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WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

January 28, 2016Blog

Know any  “SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW” people? You know who I mean…. those   OPTIMISTIC souls, who like “Annie,” somehow manage to be happy anyway, even when things don’t seem to be going so well. Try not to hate them. Instead… learn from them.   Remember how everyone loved “Annie”? When life throws you a few […]

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A “BRUIN” IN BALANCE

October 11, 2015BALANCE

My sister’s hubby, a loyal  BRUIN, was one of my favorite people. Not because he’s bowled a 300 game. Never mind that he was professionally successful, adored by his family, proficient in most sports, maker of the best margaritas. He was a guy who knew how to be a good friend and how to have […]

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A FIRE ISLAND ESCAPE

September 23, 2015Blog

We wondered, my husband and I, what it must be like for our friends to live in Dallas, Texas, as gay democrats.   Paul and Jack lived together in a suburban neighborhood, which seemed to to us, to wreak of quintessential conservatism.                              […]

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EVERYONE HAS “EROGENOUS” ZONES

September 11, 2015Blog

The book Dr.Wayne Dyer wrote in the 70’s, had nothing to do with sex. Look fast and “ERRONEOUS” could READ, “EROGENOUS.”      The title is what sold this book… at least initially. Dr .WAYNE DYER   tricked us into paying attention. His book had absolutely nothing to do with sex. And then… we discovered that it […]

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MAUREEN SAYS SHE WANTS A DIVORCE

September 1, 2015Blog

A wife I’ll call “Maureen” told “Russell,” her husband of eighteen years, that she wanted a divorce… Only then did they make an appointment with this love doctor! They came in fighting. I could hear them through the walls, in my waiting room. I knew this wasn’t going to be much fun. They glared at […]

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CHEAPER THAN THERAPY

August 22, 2015Blog

Do you feel ignored by your wife? Do you feel like a nuisance around her? Perhaps your relationship has hit a giant snag? In case you haven’t noticed, romance busters are everywhere. Kid-problems and managing extended family relationships don’t inspire much passion. Perhaps, there are money challenges. Or maybe your issues have to do with […]

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dr. zhivago

Her “Dr. Zhivago” Guy on Tinder

August 9, 2015Blog

 August 9, 2015 Click on the green heart if you like how she looks… to the red “X” if you’re not interested. “Tinder,” the electronic dating app makes it so easy to find your soul mate… or someone you’d like to hang out with, anyway “Tricia” swooned when she looked at “Cameron’s” photo. “He looks […]

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manners

Learning Manners From a New Yorker?

July 12, 2015Blog

July 12, 2015 I couldn’t wait to share my city of origin with my seven-year-old grandson. Aidan with his giant back-pack, rolled his suitcase into our hotel in New York City, to begin our wonderful adventure. It was just the two of us. Which meant, of course, he needed to be in charge of some […]

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joyce

Why Would She Do That?

June 29, 2015Blog

June 29, 2015 A female tailor-shop instructor in a maximum-security jail, wooed by two convicted murderers, helped them with their plan to escape. She’s been charged with smuggling hack saw blades and other tools to the inmates inside of frozen hamburger meat. In the end, she sort of came to her senses and managed to […]

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jenner

Welcome Caitlyn

June 15, 2015Blog

June 15, 2015 At sixty-five, Bruce Jenner hasn’t done himself any favor by becoming Caitlyn. It’s tough being a sixty-five year old woman. I never fantasized about changing my sex, but I did recognize, even when I was very young, that boys had advantages that I didn’t have. They were stronger and had more freedom, […]

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nice guy

“Nice” Guys Have More Sex

June 7, 2015Blog

June 7, 2015 When’s the last time you winked at your spouse across the room? Or thanked him/her for all the things he does for you? Those would be really nice things to do. For marital happiness, I believe being “nice” is even more important than knowing the right way to “listen” and to communicate. […]

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wife

George’s Jealous Wife

May 26, 2015Blog

May 26, 2015 A man I’ll call “George,” called me several months ago. “Help,” he said. “My wife thinks I’m having an affair. She’s obsessed with everything I do. She checks out what I’m wearing. She checks out my underwear. No kidding. I bought new underwear because the old ones were tearing and she got […]

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bffs on the loose

BFF’s on the Loose in Montreal

May 3, 2015Blog

May 3, 2015 Not exactly “golden,” we’re no match – at least these days, for Carrie Bradshaw and her friends, which really has nothing to do with anything. In puffy coats and woolen scarfs, we four BFF’s brought our Southern California weather to Montreal. It was even fun to smile and take credit for the […]

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i'm the boss of me

From Brooklyn… Armed With Love

April 19, 2015Blog

April 19, 2015 Sunset. Gorgeous yachts. Paddle-boarders with long blond hair. Electric boats carrying waving children. Friends drinking wine, laughing, waving back. It all seemed surreal. How did I get here… this sort-of poor kid from Brooklyn? Do you ever think about things like that? I don’t, very often, but I did the other gorgeous […]

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too much texting

Etiquette For Over-Aged “Texters”

April 5, 2015Blog

April 5, 2015 “Carol,” 53, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she talked about how texting had almost led her to “romantic” folly. Newly single, “Carol” hadn’t been on a date for twenty-five years. . Then, walking her dog on Balboa Island, she met “Hal,” who invited her to coffee. She thought he […]

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divorce prediction

Can Divorce Really Be Predicted?

March 22, 2015Blog

March 22, 2015 “Divorce can be predicted with 91% accuracy and in about five minutes,” says guru psychologist, Dr. John Gottman, who shares his secrets with other mental health professionals. Dr. Gottman’s research demonstrates that when a couple’s communication spirals down too far, certain types of “attacks,” can be so marriage – lethal, that he […]

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narcissist

Fifty Shades of Good Guy / Bad Guy

March 3, 2015Blog

March 3, 2015 “In a super-hero movie, its typically good guy and bad guy… and bad guy attacks. In real life, evil seduces.” —Joaquin Phoenix Not always, but sometimes, these evil seducers are narcissists with over-inflated ideas of their own importance and talents, like the fictional Christian Grey in the story, “Fifty Shades of Grey.” […]

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two karate chop break ups

Two “Karate Chop” Break-Ups

February 16, 2015Blog

February 16, 2015 More couples are likely to split up in January than in any other month. The resulting chaos is great for February magazines at super-market check-stands. “Un-love” stories of the 99% of us who aren’t especially tabloid-worthy can be just as devastating… we are just not as likely to hear about them. Unless […]

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Valentine's earthquake kit

Valentine’s “Earthquake” Kit

February 9, 2015Blog

February 9, 2015 This Love Doctor speaks with authority and is sure that romantic relationships are worth every bit of the trouble they cause. They do need to be cared for and cherished, however. If I made the rules, every single couple would have a piggy bank prominently displayed their home…. a special and unique […]

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Drama junkie

Drama “Junkies” and Their Partners

January 31, 2015Blog

January 31, 2015 “At midnight, on New Year’s Eve, my wife, the ‘Drama Queen’ kissed me passionately and then screamed, so loud that the whole neighborhood could hear. She told me that last year was the worst year of our marriage and that I should pack my things and leave. This wasn’t the first time. […]

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questions

36 Magic Questions

January 18, 2015Blog

January 18, 2015 Want to feel more connected to someone? Ask each other these 36 questions — but not all at once. Even if you are not currently coupled, it may serve you well to think about your own answers. And about how much you would be willing to share. 1. Given the choice of […]

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cuddles

“Cuddles For Hire” and January Drama

January 9, 2015Blog

January 9, 2015 This morning, “The Wall Street Journal” included a feature article about how the “Cuddle For Hire” business is taking off, even though — “clothes are staying on”. Really? The proponents insist their service has nothing to do with sex and that what they offer instead is hugs, nuzzles and tickles for about […]

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2015

“WOOP” It Up In 2015

December 29, 2014Blog

December 29, 2014 Do you “wish” some part of your life were different? Around the turn of a new year, most of us at least, think about, thinking about these kinds of things. Unless you believe in magic, you also know that you are going to have to do something different if you want things […]

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kissing

Kissing Lessons… Movies and Mistletoe

December 19, 2014Blog

December 19, 2014 “How to Kiss,” beat out “How to crochet,” barely, as the most frequent “how to” question asked, according to Google. “How to crochet” came in as a close second this year. I’m not making this up. With so much mistletoe around, I thought it was worth mentioning. Do people really need kissing […]

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bc

“Dr. Cliff Huxtable”

December 8, 2014Blog

December 8, 2014 “Dr. Cliff Huxtable” has become an iconic, American role model. His character, played by Bill Cosby, is lovable, sweet, vulnerable, funny and educated. Avuncular. I’ve always been a sucker for men like him.. “Dr. Huxtable” earns his living as an ob/gyn. I’ve also always thought there’s something to be said for men […]

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turkey

Tame Those Turkeys

November 24, 2014Blog

November 24, 2014 Have a relative you’re not looking forward to hanging out with this Thursday? You’re not alone. Maybe you even love that person, but his/her likely behavior when the family gathers, is intolerable to you. Here’s a few things you can do to make things better: 1. If Old Uncle What’s-His-Name starts in […]

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boss

*** “I’m The Boss of Me”

November 19, 2014Blog

November 19, 2014 SPOILER ALERT: People spend almost half of the time they are awake thinking about something other than what they are doing … and how often their mind drifts, is predictive of how happy or unhappy they are. No kidding. There is scientific research to support the notion that “mind-wandering” is a mood […]

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steamy

Ticket Back to Hot Sex

November 3, 2014Blog

November 3, 2014 Interested in hot sex? –“RE-KINDLING” has to come first. That is… if you’re thinking about having it with the same old partner. Think “campfire”. You have to start slow to reach the big flames. Talking is a very good place to start. Don’t roll you eyes, Gentlemen. Women are always claiming that […]

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girl

“Gone Girl” … A Mirror of Marriage

October 23, 2014Blog

October 23, 2014 “Gone Girl” was a smash hit as a book and now as a movie. Why do you think? The story is about a beautiful, once happily married wife, who mysteriously disappears on her fifth anniversary. We do get some early hints about “Amy’s” manipulation skills, but mostly, there is room for imaginations […]

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love

Love and Hope in New York City

October 3, 2014Blog

October 3, 2014 My credentials as a love doctor are stretched on every trip I make to New York. I’ve often been accused of having a love affair with this city, my original “hood.” There are lots people here who look, sound and dress like me. I see a reflection of myself everywhere. Can you […]

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rail

Getting a Marriage Back on Track

September 15, 2014Blog

September 15, 2014 After reading my last blog entry, (Divorce Predictors, September 4th 2014), Hilda wrote: “I get that the marriages you describe are in jeopardy, but what now? Can these marriages ever be saved?” Sometimes they can, Hilda. Some people learn from their bad experiences and move on to healthier relationships with or without […]

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predictors

Divorce Predictors

September 4, 2014Blog

September 4, 2014 Once, Holly’s life with Jeff was enviable, filled with all kinds of adventure and anticipation. They invested an enviable amount of time in their relationship. “Once upon a time,” she says, “things were perfect.” These days,” she says, she feels like he’d rather be with anyone, but me. I have become a […]

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robin

Robin Williams, My Friend Katy and What You Can Do

August 16, 2014Blog

August 16, 2014 Suicide sometimes looms like a permanent option for what usually turns out to be a temporary problem. How sad that is. The decision to take one’s life is usually made in a fuzzy brain state, colored by some event or disappointment that may seem insurmountable. “Life isn’t for everyone.” Robin Williams was […]

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quote

He Can So Change

August 10, 2014Blog

August 10, 2014 “Larry,” 46, is on a mission of self discovery. A mid-life crisis? Maybe. In any event, his therapy has been centered around re-thinking his own self-image. I first met Larry six months ago. He was, by his own admission, twenty pounds, over-weight. His exercise program was “stalled,” he says, because of a […]

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Judy Blume

Awe-Struck By Judy Blume, Shopping and “Hands-Up” Generosity

July 20, 2014Blog

July 20, 2014 I was in Santa Fe New Mexico to go shopping. Don’t smirk. The once a year International Folk Art Market gives enthusiasts like me a chance to feel good about spending money and I wasn’t alone. There were thousands of other visitors doing the same thing. An “Alliance” in Santa Fe takes […]

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13 and 23

Cool at 13, Adrift at 23

June 29, 2014Blog

June 29, 2014 It must be true… I read it in the newspaper: Thirteen-year-old middle school “stars,” who dabble in stuff that most parents don’t approve of, fall off the popularity wagon in fairly short order. You know who they are.. the ones who at thirteen, only hang with attractive people, have many “romances,” … […]

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friendships

Friendship On Fire

June 8, 2014Blog

June 8, 2014 I was challenged by a man who considers himself an expert when it comes to all things, romantic. “I want to know, how you, the ‘Love Doctor, define “Romantic Love.” He wasn’t talking about “family love, or brotherly love, about institutional love, or of the unconditional love we feel for our offspring.” […]

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What Happy People Don’t Do

May 23, 2014Blog

May 23, 2014 We look in awe at people who seem to be really happy. Are they messing with us? Not always. Some people know how to be happy and we can just wonder how they do that. Don’t hate them… learn from them. Happy people know how to laugh and relish a moment. They […]

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newport beach

An Affluent City On Trial… Again

May 10, 2014Blog

May 10, 2014 The “Prom Draft” at Corona del Mar High School has put Newport Beach, California, back in the news. That this story followed so closely behind the “cheating” scandal,” I think, made it sound worse than it really is. This time, I’m not sure, anyone at CDM did anything wrong. During the cheating […]

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paris

The Best City For Love: Paris? New York?

April 28, 2014Blog

April 28, 2014 Paris is the city of LOVE; I’m sure you’ve also read that somewhere. Paris is beautiful and inspiring … lovers can do well when they share the experience of what it has to offer. For me, when it comes to LOVE, however, New York is still the real deal. One sunny but […]

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scary

“Love” Can Be Scary

March 23, 2014Blog

March 23, 2014 “Love” is so powerful that it can turn your world upside down and inside out. It can be downright scary. When it works, though, there’s nothing quite like it and makes even a bumpy ride seem worthwhile. If you’ve ever loved, surely you agree. But should you become single again, chances are […]

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idea

What Awe-Inspiring Love Idea Did You Have Today?

March 1, 2014Blog

March 1, 2014 When daughters who say they are marriage-minded, get sick of hanging out with undependable, bad-boy, boyfriends, they’re likely to pay more attention to Mom’s advice: “In this turbulent ever-changing world, safe and predictable men have always made the best husbands.” Flash forward ten or twenty years and these same daughters (and some […]

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kids

Falling In Love With Her

January 10, 2014Blog

January 10, 2014 “HER” played in our local theater. When it was over, several of the moviegoers around me were quite vocal with their reviews. “Soooo romantic,” cooed one woman. Her friend agreed. “Samantha and Theodore seemed like the perfect couple.” For the uninitiated who haven’t seen this film, please note that “Samantha” is the […]

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wealthy

“Affluenza”

December 28, 2013Blog

December 28, 2013 Were you also outraged by the story about the “wealthy” teenager who will serve no prison time after getting drunk from stolen beer, and killing four people? Mostly, on this blog, I write about grownups and the best ways they can love each other. This time, however, I invite you to hear […]

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ny

New York, Salvation Army Ladies and Phony Weddings in Paris

December 8, 2013Blog

December 8, 2013 I’m on an airplane, on the way home from New York. Yes, again. The pull to spend time in my hometown remains persistent. For me, it is energizing to pound the pavement… beats a treadmill any day. I always expect something wonderful to happen. Sometimes it does. The Christmas windows at Bergdorf, […]

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Thanksgivakah

“Thanksgivukah”

November 30, 2013Blog

November 30, 2013 Jews celebrated Thanksgiving and Hanukah together this year. The Hebrew calendar just worked out that way. The second night of Hanukkah was dubbed, “Thanksgivakah” . At first, it all sounded too weird to think about. Especially since it has never happened before in my lifetime and is not about to happen again […]

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ghost stories

Ghost Stories of the Heart

October 30, 2013Blog

October 30, 2013 Maybe it’s because it’s Halloween. Or maybe not. Just seems that everyone has a ghost-sighting story to tell and that all too often, the stories have something to do with romance.. “Brett’s” mom died twenty years ago, but he insists she came to him in his sleep with a clear message: “Marry […]

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Private Eye

Need a Private Eye? Not So Fast

October 9, 2013Blog

October 9, 2013 A woman I’ll call “Molly” came to see me after spending a weekend at spa resort with her friend who I’ll call “Jody.” Their husbands were off playing in a golf tournament. Molly was upset because her friend revealed that her husband had asked for a vacation from their marriage. Jody’s husband […]

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ny ny

New York and Nude Models… With New Eyes

September 21, 2013Blog

September 21, 2013 Nude models… a young man and a young woman… a quartet playing soft background music, forty or so artists and some wannabees, sketching, a bar, snacks for sale and the most exquisite, illustrative art on the walls. A perfect New York experience. As a former New Yorker who can still fake it, […]

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coming of Age

Coming of Age… Sort of

August 22, 2013Blog

August 22, 2013 I was at the senior center, about to start a zumba dancing class and I had palpitations in the parking lot. The last time I had taken a dancing class, I cried… I was five years old and I made my mother promise me that I would never have to go back. […]

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Picture of Dr. Linda Algazi, Ph.D

Texting During Sex? Noooo!

August 3, 2013Blog

August 3, 2013 It must be true. I read it and  it wasn’t  even in the tabloids: Twenty percent of people under thirty-five text while having sex. Some older folks, apparently, are guilty too. I can’t vouch for what happens in the bedrooms of these people but I don’t think it could be very much […]

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broken

A Museum Dedicated to You and Me and Broken Love

July 18, 2013Blog

July 18, 2013 “BROKENSHIPS” is the name of the café in an award-winning museum in Croatia, called The Museum of Broken Relationships. A totally cool and brilliant idea. More than ever, museum professionals look for way to make exhibitions, their “wares” if you will, relevant to this latest generation who have been raised in a […]

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fireworks

Fireworks

July 3, 2013Blog

July 3, 2013 I’ve always loved fireworks on July 4th; so don’t call me a spoilsport as you read this. “Fireworks,” just takes on different meaning in the world of family counselors and psychologists. If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, you know what I mean. Could you do a better […]

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seniors

On Becoming an “Elderly, Optimistic Orphan”

June 10, 2013Blog

June 10, 2013 I’m working at becoming an “optimistic orphan.” My mom died last year, at ninety-five and a half, fifty years after my dad’s death. Most people would say she lived a long-enough life and that I should be grateful not only her longevity, but for the promise of my own. I am grateful. […]

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Cultures

Delicious Cultural Differences

May 30, 2013Blog

May 30, 2013 A Chinese lady… a lovely, slender woman gave me a gift. It came wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of course.” Inside were 12 or so thin cookies wrapped in what looked like […]

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Chalk on pavement

Never Trust a Woman

May 15, 2013Blog

May 15, 2013 It was a really bad week for women, at least in the movies. “The Great Gatsby,” Jay, is obsessed not only with his own image, but with vulnerable Daisy, the wife of wealthy, boorish and philandering Tom. Gatsby throws outrageous, over-the-top parties, mostly to attract Daisy’s attention. He’ll do anything to win […]

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Kick, Kick

Kick, Kick That “Bucket”

May 6, 2013Blog

May 6, 2013 I hate the idea that having a bucket-list implies that I expect to die any time soon. So, when I overheard two twenty-something girls in New York this week talking, arguing, about what sounded like bucket-list talk, I was curious. “I’m want to learn Italian,” said the first girl. “Me too. No […]

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Number 42

Jackie Robinson and Justin Bieber

April 14, 2013Blog

April 14, 2013 It was easy to imagine a bunch of teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert, waiting, waiting for their idol to come on stage. The electricity of anticipation, hung out, in the air. No roar of the crowd, though, only quiet anticipatory reminiscence by a bunch of over-the-top baseball fans. It was […]

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april 1st

April Fools

April 1, 2013Blog

April 1, 2013 “Jen” sort of cried, “Yes, I love him. For sure, more than I did yesterday. Yesterday, “Chad” was a jerk again.” What did he do? “He flirted with a waitress. I hate when that happens.” Maybe he was just being nice, “Jen.” Don’t you hate it when you see people acting “entitled” […]

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sports

Football, TV, Cell Phones or Me?

March 13, 2013Blog

March 13, 2013 Ladies: Ever hear of “Zeebox?” It’s an app which watches your TV shows, right along with you and offers the kind of chatter and gossip you may crave. Never will you get that kind of attention and companionship from your man. He’s not even interested in the shows you watch. Gentlemen: If […]

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serious?

How “Serious” is Your Relationship?

February 14, 2013Blog

February 14, 2013 Do you remember when you decided that your love relationship became “SERIOUS” Do you remember what you told your friends, your parents? By “SERIOUS,” I don’t think you meant “grave”, or “stern” or “humorless.” You were in love and it was fun. That’s what you were trying to communicate. “He’s special.” “She’s […]

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50 kisses

“Fifty Kisses” Screenplay Contest

January 31, 2013Blog

January 31, 2013 I’d love for you to read my Valentine’s script and give me some notes! “Fifty Kisses.” Think about it. I just couldn’t resist entering this contest because it felt like the perfect challenge for this love doctor, who also happens to be a closeted screenwriter. The task: To write a complete screenplay, […]

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Loehmanns

My Love Affair With a Store

January 25, 2013Blog

January 25, 2014 My name is Linda and I am a Loehmann’s junkie, now in a forced recovery. Loehmann’s is going out of business. For the uninitiated, Loehmann’s, has been a national chain of discount stores, specializing in high fashion at reduced prices. High fashion is in my blood. Scoring a find with a good […]

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My Valentine

To My Valentine

January 16, 2013Blog

January 16, 2013 Dear Valentine, I know you are worried about what to give me for Valentine’s Day, so let me give you a few hints. No chocolates, please. I love chocolates, and I will not be able to resist them. Save me from that. Please. I do not want cut flowers because they die […]

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Goals

“Bah Humbug” To Resolutions?

January 6, 2013Blog

January 6, 2013 “Bah Humbug” To Resolutions? – Are you a New Years Resolver? Or do you declare “Bah humbug” and resolve never to make another resolution on New Years Day? Let me re-phase the question. Have you made a “promise” to yourself recently? Sometimes, it’s just easier to deal with a “promise.” In the […]

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love

“Amour”… About Love and the End of Life

December 26, 2012Blog

December 26, 2012 “Amour”… About Love and the End of Life – I think a lot about “love,” even when it’s not the holidays. I read a about relationships and seek out movies about people who care about each other. You’d probably agree that this is a good thing for the “love-doctor” to do. So, […]

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responses

Your Responses About the Connecticut Massacre

December 20, 2012Blog

December 20, 2012 Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the tragedy in Connecticut. Here is a sampling of the more than sixty responses  I received from family and friends: “Every American should fly a flag at half mast every day for one month, and then on the 14th day of every month until the […]

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half mast

Our Flags At Half Mast

December 16, 2012Blog

December 16, 2012 Our flags are at half-mast, as I write this. All in the name of love. Love for the innocent children as well as for the adults who lost their lives in this week’s horrific slaughter in Connecticut. Love for their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, children, teachers, classmates and friends. We lower […]

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one too many

Infidelity

November 17, 2012Blog

November 17, 2012 Infidelity – The conference at UCI last week-end was about “infidelity.” Not about how to do it, but how to avoid it and/or recover after it has happened. We react with reality TV- like interest and scorn, when national heroes, or our friends, are caught giving in to illicit passions. “How could […]

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sports

Sports, Men and Masculinity

October 25, 2012Blog

October 25, 2012 Sports, Men and Masculinity – I overheard a conversation between two special men in my life. My Uncle Jack, excited about his success, on the tennis court, bragged, “Three aces, against a woman who ALWAYS returns everything. It made my day,” he said. His energy soared through the speakerphone. “I’ll tell you… […]

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Dustin Hoffman

Husbands, Wives: Learn From Dustin Hoffman

October 10, 2012Blog

October 10, 2012 Husbands, Wives: Learn From Dustin Hoffman – Dustin Hoffman, the actor, said that Luciano Pavarotti, the famous classical singer and one-time insurance salesman, allegedly relied on encouragement from his wife to get out on the stage and perform. “My wife is also how I came to producing and directing in this time […]

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2 couples

When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You

September 18, 2012Blog

September 18, 2012 When Friends’ Divorce Is a Problem For You – It just seemed weird. To celebrate their eleventh anniversary, a couple I’ll call “Steve” and “Anne” had dinner alone. The restaurant was rated with four stars; the food was fine. Each of them made a special effort to look attractive and well dressed […]

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couple avoiding each other

Men and Women Avoiding Intimacy

August 18, 2012Blog

August 18, 2012 MEN AVOIDING INTIMACY – When and if a husband, like “Rob”, is tempted out of his “fidelity,” it is likely to be by some other woman who admires him and seems to find him irresistible, in person. She doesn’t have to balance a checkbook, keep the house neat or get along with […]

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bonding

Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding

July 7, 2012Blog

July 7, 2012 Forget “Bondage,” Love Has To Do With Bonding – Never mind the current best-selling trilogy of “mommy porn” fiction which I talked about in my last entry. (Click here on “Fifty Shades of Gray” to check it out.) I’m saying that if you really want to keep love hot, “bondage” doesn’t work. […]

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50

“Fifty Shades of Gray”

May 23, 2012Blog

May 23, 2012 “Fifty Shades of Gray” – They’ve been called “mommy-porn,” offering a release from chores associated with child care and housekeeping. And it’s not only young mommies who are reading it. By chance that you are not aware of this cultural phenomenon, “Fifty Shades Of Gray” is a trilogy of best selling, erotic […]

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dot and line romance

The Dot and the Line: A Romance

April 8, 2012Blog

April 8, 2012 The Dot and the Line: A Romance – “You are meaningless as a melon,” the “Dot” finally replied. “You are undisciplined, unkempt and unaccountable.” The “Dot” reminds girls like her to re-think their preference for bad “boys.” In the case of the Dot, her untidy and graceless “bad boy” was a “Scribble.” […]

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kiss

The “Kind Kiss”

February 19, 2012Blog

February 19, 2012 The “Kind Kiss” – Shakespeare wrote about the “kind kiss” as the ultimate demonstration of love. In the second part of King Henry VI, Act 1, Scene 1, said by Henry VI: “I can express no kinder sign of love, than this kind kiss.” “Kind,” I think is the operative word, whether […]

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victory Lap

Victory Lap Time

January 29, 2012Blog

January 29, 2012 Victory Lap Time – Unlike Betty White, I’m not quite old enough to brag about my age but I’ve decided that fifty years of marriage is worthy cause for celebration. Our kids apparently thought so too. I admit all this celebrating makes me a little uncomfortable. People whose pictures I see in […]

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Be Kind

Random Acts of Kindness

December 29, 2011Blog

December 29, 2011 Random Acts of Kindness – Seven out of ten pet owners bought their pets holiday gifts. It must be true because I read it on Facebook! I also read a story in the New York Times on Sunday, about a single mom and her teen age kids, all veterans of Christmas morning […]

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sign

When You Sense It’s Time To Move On

November 30, 2011Blog

November 30, 2011 When You Sense It’s Time To Move On – I’m buying a shiny, sleek, glamorous new car today and I feel terrible about it. This new car looks wonderful; it has not even one dent or nick. The leather seats are spotless because they have no history. No one I love has […]

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invisible in own home

Feeling Invisible in your Own Home

October 31, 2011Blog

October 31, 2011 “Old George” and His Wife in a State of “Irritated Retreat” – Husbands and wives continue to complain about feeling invisible in their own homes. If a guest comes to your door, you are likely to greet him or her with a hug or at least with a smile. You might offer […]

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cheesecake

Men, Plastic Surgery and Cheesecake

October 10, 2011Blog

October 10, 2011 Men, Plastic Surgery and Cheesecake – The New York Times reported that in this past year, there has been a 22 percent increase in the consumption of cheesecake. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons confirms that plastic surgery, and liposuction for fat reduction, rose between 14% and 20% percent last year. And […]

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Companion wanted

“Travel Companion Wanted”

August 12, 2011Blog

August 12, 2011 “Travel Companion Wanted” – “SENIOR retired bachelor lawyer who has traveled to Paris every spring and fall for many years, seeks a traveling companion.” The large ad appeared in today’s Daily Pilot and it was enough to catch my attention as I scanned through local news. Don’t miss this story! The advertiser […]

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director

Learn From Woody Allen!

June 15, 2011Blog

June 15, 2011 Learn From Woody Allen! – If you believe in love, and if a flight of fantasy appeals to you, go see Woody Allen’s new movie, “Midnight in Paris.” It’s not only a cheap vacation to a wonderful and oh-so-romantic city, but it’s a coming of age story. I believe Woody has finally […]

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men who cheat

Men Who Cheat

May 29, 2011Blog

May 29, 2011 Men Who Cheat – A man told me he’s been faithful to his wife since his 45th birthday. How old are you? I asked. “Forty-five and two weeks,” he answered. What’s really up when a man cheats on his wife? Sometimes, not much, according to at least one survey, which by the […]

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prince william

Prince William as a Married “NF”

April 9, 2011Blog

April 9, 2011 Prince William as a Married “NF” – Although Prince Charles did not wear a wedding ring when he married Diana, rumor has it that he wears a hidden one, under his signet ring, since he has been married to Camilla. (Think what you will, about that.) Now, his son William has announced […]

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barbie and ken

Barbie and Ken Have Reconciled

March 6, 2011Blog

March 6, 2011 Barbie and Ken Have Reconciled – When Barbie left Ken around Valentines Day in 2004, I was really sad. She had “been” with the guy for forty-three years and there were at least some happy fantasies about lasting love and having fun. Then Barbie left Ken for Blaine, a much younger surfer-dude. […]

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grinch

The “Grinch” Who Stole Valentine’s Day

January 28, 2011Blog

January 28, 2011 Ever hear of Bugs Moran? He was one of the seven guys killed in the 1929 massacre. The one masterminded by Al Capone in Chicago, on Valentine’s Day! Capone had arranged for the “special valentine” to be delivered to his rival gang. Moran and his men were riddled with bullets from a […]

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Be nice and then some

Being Nice is Not Good Enough

January 3, 2011Blog

January 3, 2011 Being Nice is Not Good Enough – Pity the woman who marries a man thinking she can sculpt him in a direction in which he doesn’t want to go. Pity the man who marries a girl, hoping she will never change and stay cast in stone, except when she’s in bed, of […]

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optimism

Optimism Intact

December 23, 2010Blog

December 23, 2010 Optimism Intact – I’m a morning person. I wake up every day, okay almost every day, full of hope. I like to think I don’t exactly sit around waiting; I’ve lived long enough to know better. I work hard at my optimism. Now, just like you, I face a new year and […]

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promises

Forget Wishes: Make a Promise Instead

November 24, 2010Blog

November 24, 2010 Forget Wishes: Make a Promise Instead – For better and worse, tomorrow is Turkey Day. Families and friends gather to mark another year, celebrate, feast and give thanks. People often reminisce on Thanksgiving. As a child, I also loved this holiday. It was a time to get dressed up, and mingle with […]

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friends

RX For Making Friends

November 2, 2010Blog

November 2, 2010 What Really Makes You Happy? – “Mark,” 43, a usually successful man, had always identified himself as a “happy introvert.” Now, in an economic crisis, he has begun to re-think his need for others. He says he really needs a friend and that his wife is no help because she is too […]

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Pugs make me happy

What Really Makes You Happy?

October 16, 2010Blog

October 16, 2010 What Really Makes You Happy? – Some scrooge-like outliers seem to get off on never finding peace or joy in anything or anybody. That seems to make them as happy as they are capable of being. Most everyone else searches for another way. Does being married make you happy? If you’re in […]

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Married Woman

Why Married Women Flirt

August 31, 2010Blog

August 31, 2010 Why Married Women Flirt – Suppose you were at a party with your beautiful wife, who you notice had made more extraordinary efforts than usual to look great. She wore tight jeans, a top, cut just a little too low for your taste, and shoes you had never seen before. “Jimmy Choo’s,” […]

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When Harry Met Sally

July 25, 2010Blog

July 25, 2010 When Harry Met Sally, they disagreed. Harry said that men and women could never really be “friends” because sex always gets in the way. Sally was outraged. “I’ve always had men friends,” she insisted. What’s behind Harry’s thinking? Harry would say that it all depends on what you mean by friendship. Certainly […]

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advice

Mostly Bad Advice for Single Men

July 6, 2010Blog

July 6, 2010 Mostly Bad Advice for Single Men – Everyone seems to have advice for men about how to treat women. Especially when they are single and motivated, men tend to listen to anybody, from any source. Some of the advice has merit for sure, but some of it makes me cringe. Following are […]

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al

The Successful Marriage of Al and Tipper Gore

June 7, 2010Blog

June 7, 2010 Is the The Gore’s marriage a failure? Really, now? Forty years together, raising a beautiful family, building a successful career, becoming Vice President and Second Lady of the United States, and making a significant mark on the world… that doesn’t sound like much a failure to me. You try being married for […]

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two hours

Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist

May 3, 2010Blog

May 3, 2010 Two Hours in the Life of a Psychologist – A Chinese lady… a lovely, thin gentle Chinese woman gave me a gift today. It was carefully wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of […]

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cat

When a Woman Trivializes a Men’s Sexuality

March 21, 2010Blog

March 21, 2010 When a Woman Trivializes a Men’s Sexuality – The biggest complaint that men have about their wives has to do with a lack of interest in sex. For good reason. Women are often guilty of trivializing their husband’s need for more and better intimacy. “He’s ridiculous!” she says. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong […]

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not even Valentine's day

It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2010Blog

February 16, 2010 It Wasn’t Even Valentine’s Day – On a more ordinary Wednesday, John asked his girlfriend, Susan to play hooky from work and to meet him at a favorite spot near the beach. “Bring a picnic lunch,” he said. “I’ll bring the champagne.” When Susan arrived at the designated corner, she found John […]

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widow

It’s Football Season: “Widows” Beware

January 11, 2010Blog

January 11, 2010 It’s Football Season: “Widows” Beware – Some men love their families, their wives and their sports in equal amounts, or so it seems. Some wives are afraid to ask where they rank relative to say, the football season. They accuse their husbands of being “addicted” to the rush they get from spectator […]

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woman

When a Wife is Too Special For Sex

November 6, 2009Blog

November 6, 2009 When a Wife is Too Special For Sex – Although it’s usually men who complain about not getting enough attention in bed, sometimes it’s a woman who has the complaint. When he says something like, “I’ve got a headache,” and she accuses him of “giving at the office.” Love Doctors like me […]

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lipstick

Old Fantasies Never Die

September 29, 2009Blog

September 29, 2009 Old Fantasies Never Die – “I’m going to call John Thompson and find out if his wife is dead, said ”Maryann who had just finished seeing the movie, “Elsa and Fred.” The movie is about an old man who moves into an apartment next door to to an old lady, and about […]

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talking too much

Telling Too Much in the Name of Intimacy

August 29, 2009Blog

August 29, 2009 Telling Too Much in the Name of Intimacy – Holly and Todd met three months ago on an airplane, somewhere between Los Angeles and Boston. Kismet ruled and they were seated next to each other for the five-hour trip. Todd, a marketing executive on a business trip and Holly, en route to […]

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addicted

Amy’s Addicted to Jason

July 26, 2009Blog

July 26, 2009 Amy’s Addicted to Jason – Never mind that Jason says he loves Amy one minute and that he disappears the next. No matter that since he’s been in her life, Amy feels anxious and uncomfortable almost all of the time. And that the closer she tries to get to him, the more […]

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soul mates

“Soul-Mates”

July 4, 2009Blog

July 12, 2015 I couldn’t wait to share my city of origin with my seven-year-old grandson. Aidan with his giant back-pack, rolled his suitcase into our hotel in New York City, to begin our wonderful adventure. It was just the two of us. Which meant, of course, he needed to be in charge of some […]

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Cheap Psychotherapy for You and “O.C. Legs”

June 3, 2009Blog

June 3, 2009 Cheap Psychotherapy for You and “O.C. Legs” – I think the girl I met at the gas pump yesterday had a lot of spunk. She was wearing high heels and a short skirt. And the license plate on her flashy car read “OC Legs.” Maybe she was a district attorney or a […]

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bad-guy

Are Bad Guys Really More Attractive?

May 14, 2009Blog

May 14, 2009 Are Bad Guys Really More Attractive? – Every good man and woman who knows she should make better choices, should watch some episodes of HBO’s “No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency”. The stories are based on Alexander McCall Smith’s charming novels about life in Botswana. In one, Precious, our heroine, becomes engaged to her […]

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annes story

Laura Learns From Anne’s Story

May 3, 2009Blog

May 3, 2009 Laura Learns From Anne’s Story – “Okay, I get it,” said Laura, after reading about Anne, who had been emotionally stuck in an ex-marriage which had ended so long ago.(Click here to read about Ann.) “Tom, my ex, has re-married and he and his wife have a new baby.” It’s done me […]

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ex-wife

The Ex-Wife Syndrome

April 23, 2009Blog

April 23, 2009 The Ex-Wife Syndrome – It was Anne’s first appointment with me and I knew nothing about her. I asked about her life. I’m miserable,” she said. “Sad all the time. Maybe Jack’s right. He says I’ve always been a downer.” Who is Jack? I asked. “Jack’s the man I married twenty-five years […]

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too soon

Too Soon For Marriage? Divorce?

April 5, 2009Blog

April 5, 2009 Too Soon For Marriage? Divorce? – Sometimes, a person makes a huge mistake by marrying someone they shouldn’t. This is more likely to happen when passionate commitments are made too soon. Sometimes people, driven by a passion of another sort, divorce too hastily. Often, these are the same people. Their smart divorce […]

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march madness

March Madness and Marriage

March 25, 2009Blog

March 25, 2009 March Madness and Marriage – The basketball frenzy of “March Madness” will go on for another weekend. Most men and some women will indulge, at the expense of other things, like their relationship with less-interested-in-such-things spouses. “I could lay down, nude, in front of the TV this week, and he wouldn’t notice,” […]

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gold digger

Rich Old Guys and Young Beautiful Girls

March 1, 2009Blog

March 1, 2009 I was with a group of people in a restaurant where we witnessed an older gentleman with a woman who qualified as an “armpiece.” He was 70 or so and she was about 35. He was balding and overweight. She was perfect. “Now how did those two meet?” asked one friend, noticing […]

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older couple

How To Be Successful In This Marriage or Your Next One

February 18, 2009Blog

February 18, 2009 I’m having post-Valentine’s thoughts. Last week I wrote about my visit to a famous “OC” mall where I conducted a love survey. I remain amazed about what some people will tell an absolute stranger in a mall! One man, who was sort of hanging around and listening to what I was doing, […]

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vlaentine

Why Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day?

February 4, 2009Blog

February 4, 2009 Why Do Men Hate Valentine’s Day? – Men hate Valentine’s Day because it feels contrived and because it feels like it calls for some arbitrary display of love by which he will be judged. So why do women love Valentine’s Day? Because, even if it is contrived, it represents another opportunity to […]

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control

To Control Jealousy, Look to Yourself

January 26, 2009Blog

January 26, 2009 To Control Jealousy, Look to Yourself – A man I’ll call “George,” who I had never met, called me several months ago. “Help,” he said. “My wife thinks I’m having an affair. She’s obsessed with everything I do. She checks out what I’m wearing. She checks out my underwear. I’m not kidding. […]

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old friend

Learning About Love From an Old Friend

January 19, 2009Blog

January 19, 2009 Learning About Love From an Old Friend – An old friend gave himself a birthday party this weekend, It was a celebration of love and accomplishment. At the risk of sounding sentimental and icky, I was happy to be included and I’ll admit it… I cried. He and his wife have remained […]

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chance

Is Taking a Chance on Love Really Worth It?

January 10, 2009Blog

January 10, 2009 Of course! Love is worth everything … and I say this knowing how risky falling in love deeply and passionately can be. Falling in love implies vulnerability. That means when we trust another with our heart, we are, indeed, opening ourselves up to being hurt, disappointed and devastated. It’s scary. So why […]

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resolution

A New Kind of Resolution

December 29, 2008Blog

December 29, 2008 Want to have a perfectly happy 2009? Yes, I am talking about New Year’s resolutions… just not the kind you’re thinking about. How did you measure up this last year? Like it or not, New Years Day comes around on a regular basis to remind us of our successes, accomplishments and of […]

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betray

Can Friendship Betray Marriage?

December 14, 2008Blog

December 14, 2008 Can Friendship Betray Marriage? – Carol tells Betsy and Betsy tells Carol all the intimate details of their lives. All in the name of friendship. Carol insists – and so does Betsy — that her good mental health depends of this kind of sharing relationship. “Betsy accepts me just as I am,” […]

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lingerie

MEN: Don’t You Buy Lingerie for Her

November 17, 2008Blog

November 17, 2008 Someone I love sent me a Thanksgiving reminder. The message was to remember to live each day, each hour, to the fullest. And to not put off the good stuff. It didn’t exactly say to eat dessert first … but it was implied. The message was full of encouragement to never save […]

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intimacy

Take This Intimacy Challenge

November 15, 2008Blog

November 15, 2008 Take This Intimacy Challenge – It came straight from the mouth of this marriage counselor: Spend 12 hours of non-sleeping time in a room together, with no television, no computer and no reading material. “No problem,” said the couple that I’ll call Bonnie and Scott. Actually, I think any new-sounding proposal would […]

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two wolves

The Two Wolves Inside of Us

November 1, 2008Blog

November 1, 2008 The Two Wolves Inside of Us I’ve had this profound incredible love experience! When my grandson Aidan was born six months ago, I learned about still another kind of ecstasy; I thought I had that part of my life covered until I hugged that child. Love… romantic or parental … comes with […]

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ceo

‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged

October 21, 2008Blog

October 21, 2008 ‘CEO’ DOE: Guilty as Charged – News Flash: How much you suffer from these unsettling times depends not only on the value of your portfolio. Real survivors are those who are  insulated by things, other than financial! I know a man I’ll call, “John Doe.” Along with the rest of us, John […]

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couple

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

October 12, 2008Blog

October 12, 2008 Can This Marriage Be Saved? – When a person is desperate and unhappy, when things don’t seem to him to be going his way, when he feels irrelevant, unloved, unimportant and hopeless, what he does next is not necessarily a description of his real character. No, I’m not excusing murder, mayhem, slander, […]

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commitment

Personal Commitment Worth Cheering

September 28, 2008Blog

September 28, 2008 Personal Commitment Worth Cheering – Run your first marathon and you’re a hero. Pump enough iron and you’ll be admired. Beat your golf handicap and others will bow. Hooray for your commitment! That kind of commitment is very much in style. It’s troubling though, when commitment to one’s exercise program seems to […]

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jerk

Was John Really the Jerk or Did Carol Just Not Like Him?

August 24, 2008Blog

August 24, 2008 So it turns out that John McCain already had his sights set on Cindy before he left Carol. Sounds to me, from way out here, that Carol was a nice lady, so that when John left her, it was easy to understand the wrath of friends like Ronald and Nancy. Especially since […]

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frustrated

What’s a Frustrated Husband To Do?

July 29, 2008Blog

July 29, 2008 Suppose you are a married man who feels like you are misunderstood and under-appreciated. You say that all your wife does is complain about what you do wrong. She pushes you away when you approach her to make love. She makes excuses to do her own thing. She acts like she doesn’t […]

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bankruptcy

Is Your Marriage at Risk of ‘Bankruptcy’

July 20, 2008Blog

July 20, 2008 ALERT: Not recognizing your partner’s efforts and concentrating only on what he/she does wrong, can “bankrupt” your marriage. The final message on the TV screen in front of my seat on a jet Blue flight, right before take off was, “Thank you for being such a good reader.” Wow! Everyone around me […]

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secret

Can You Keep Secrets?

July 13, 2008Blog

July 13, 2008 A good friend confides in you. Now it feels like a burden because you’re dying to tell your husband (and your designated BFF) what you’ve just heard. Can you keep a secret or do you end up telling, swearing others to secrecy and passing along that “burden?” Take this test and check […]

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poodle

Re-Union

June 30, 2008Blog

June 30, 2008 There was a girl I didn’t recognize in a flare pink flare skirt with a poodle on it, who seemed to love when the rock and roll music started. Another man showed off in our school colors, with orange and blue tennis shoes. We all wore nametags with pictures of ourselves at […]

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straight gay

What Straight Couples Can Learn From Gay Relationship

June 23, 2008Blog

June 23, 2008 An article in The New York Times said that “in same sex relationships, housework chores are typically divided evenly! What a concept! This really got the attention of over-worked heterosexual wives! Men have a hard time understanding how or why helping out at home, without being asked, is “foreplay.” The New York […]

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what why

Ask ‘What, Not Why’

June 22, 2008Blog

June 22, 2008 Love doctors like me are always asked to explain “Why?” As in: Why did he fall out of love with me? Why did I fall out of love with him? Why did he cheat? Why did she get so fat? Why doesn’t she want to have sex with me? Why does she […]

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85

What Can We Learn From Jack at 85?

June 18, 2008Blog

June 18, 2008 I went to a birthday party for “the mayor” of my street… or maybe of the whole neighborhood. Jack, a retired pilot, has lived in the same house for 37 years. He turned 85 this week. His backyard was filled with well wishers, mariachis and waiters serving margaritas, burritos and other goodies. […]

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brides

Brides Beware!

June 8, 2008Blog

June 8, 2008 The Los Angeles Times devoted it’s entire Magazine Section to Love and Marriage a couple of weeks ago. Following is my letter to the editor, published last Sunday: Letters June 1, 2008 A Message for Brides Brides, no matter how well-educated or how much they are in love, have no idea how […]

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bt

Botox – Blatant Lifting of Good Lines

June 1, 2008Blog

When I wrote last week that “blogging” for me was like botox for the mind, my funny friend Nancy asked, “Does that mean that blogging makes your mind go all numb and expressionless?” No, Nancy. Actually it’s the opposite. Doing something new takes away wrinkles of the mind. Nancy also said the definition of “blog” […]

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blogger

Welcome Me To The Electronic Age

May 25, 2008Blog

May 25, 2008 – Welcome me to the electronic age! Writing a blog is like having a few shots of mental botox… it makes me feel young, I’ll try to keep this interesting enough for you to check in from time to time. Thank you for listening… or whatever you call it.

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