Dr. Linda


November 15, 2018Love and Lies

Gentlemen: Would you ever go through a lady’s purse? Probably not. So why would you think it’s all right to check out her phone messages, her e-mails or her Instagram account? You better come up with a compelling excuse, should you be caught. She’s likely to be out-raged enough to re-think your relationship… especially if […]

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November 2, 2018Jerry Seinfeld

 Ever hear about the Marshmallow experiment. In the “DELAYED GRATIFICATION” study in the late 60’s, little kids were offered a choice between a small reward… one marshmallow, a pretzel, a cookie… or the promise of two treats, if they were only willing to wait for fifteen minutes. What choice would you have made at age 3? […]

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October 20, 2018For the Love of a city

Paul Simon ended what he called his “farewell tour” in Queens New York where we both grew up and went to Queens College. The NYT Metropolitan Diary column, with its delicious snippets of New York experience inspired this blog entry. Always a wonderful and nourishing read to start the day. I love where I live, […]

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October 4, 2018sexual abuse

One day after Judge Brett Kavanaugh was challenged by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford in front of a Senate Judiciary Committee, I went out to lunch with twelve women. We talked about these unfortunate “reality TV” hearings, as you may have been doing too.. An interesting conversation, for sure. … Eleven out of the twelve revealed […]

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September 21, 2018Uncategorized

Another year … full of adjustments and adventures, for sure, and as I have pledged, here is my 2018 love-letter to myself… including a self-portrait. Old age, is a gift “they” say, which not everyone gets. I suspect mine is on its way I wear my words… on a bracelet which reads “Grateful”, a gift […]

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September 7, 2018CHALLENGE AT 50

What makes Johnny run? John doesn’t think of himself as a jock or as a particularly passionate man… but he could have fooled me on both score At 49, he is in the 9thof 13 weeks of training for his first marathon. He figures that by race time he would have clocked 650 training miles. […]

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We all know the bleak stats. So why would anyone ever get married… or have kids… or love and/ or engage in any kind of committed relationship?  How does one muster up the nerve to take a chance and dare to choose a person… a PATH… and expect to walk on, straight ahead, with blinders, […]

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August 11, 2018Self esteem and kids

TV’s Mr. Rogers told a generation of children they were all special. Did he ruin these kids by giving them an unrealistic and inflated view of their own self-importance? Some people seem to think so. Really? Could this gentle advocate for children be to blame for all the coddling and free food that seems to […]

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“Ethan” and “Victoria,” once high school sweethearts, re-found each other in their thirties, after Ethan’s a contentious divorce. Now, after fifteen years of marriage they are flirting with the idea oft ending their own marriage. It was Ethan who called the question. “We NEVER have sex anymore. “ He hardly talks to me, Victoria said, […]

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The longer a couple is together, their number of shared smiles and laughs is likely to diminish.   This is not fake news.                                           It is, however,  a perfect set-up for what can become an UN-LOVEstory. […]

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June 29, 2018"CHARM"

“Dr. Joe,”an emergency room doctor, was referred by the Chief of Staff in his hospital for his “un-charming” behavior toward other staff members. His excellent record with patients justified a last ditch effort to help him to keep his job. The report from the Chief stated,“not a week goes by without the doctor losing his […]

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June 15, 2018"CHARM"

MARGERY WILSON, spent a lot of her energy thinking about the importance of “CHARM.”Born in 1896, she was an American actress, writer and silent film director. In her book, she reminds us that “CHARM” demands daily expression in your life or it dwindles.” Right on, Margery. “Practice CHARM and you will have the smooth, knowing grace […]

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June 2, 2018change

Challenged by Change? Perhaps you’ve just graduated from school, are jobless and you’re unhappy about living back in your childhood home… Or… you’ve recently moved to a new neighborhood, have retired or become empty-nested… Or… you’ve had to give up playing tennis, permanently, because of a bad back… Or… you’ve been laid off at work… […]

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May 19, 2018"Questions" for intimacy

 If you are craving more intimacy with the people in your life… and you are failing miserably…  one problem may be that you are asking the wrong questions and/or asking them at the wrong time. .  GENERIC QUESTIONS, like  “How are you?”  or     “How ARE you?” or “How are YOU?” are intimacy-busters and are […]

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May 5, 2018"cracked" communication

 “I hate my husband…. Now what should I do?” “Lori, once a college cheer leader, now a housewife, married for 22 years, wailed when she spoke about her “unfulfilling” marriage to “Tim” the once-captain of their college’s basketball team.  “We were destined for a ‘charmed’ life. At least that’s what I thought. That’s what he […]

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April 20, 2018Uncategorized

“Chad” and “Jen,” have gotten themselves into a destructive pattern… one that we’re yet to unravel. “Yes, of course I love him. At least I love him more than I did… yesterday.”   What did Chad do, yesterday? I asked. “He flirted with a waitress. OUTRAGEOUSLY. I felt this big,” she said, gesturing with her […]

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April 6, 2018"Play-dates" for your husband

  If you don’t actually make dates for your husband, I bet you’ve thought about it.  That is, of course, if you get annoyed… or at least concerned… about his lack of interest in staying in contact with those he insists are “friends.” “I don’t get it,” insists “Dana,” who has been married to ‘Brett’ […]

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March 24, 2018KEVIN LOVE

“Why would someone want to pay to talk to YOU?” Aidan, my nine-year-old grandson was helping me put the charges from my therapy practice through my credit card machine. He wasn’t being rude; he was trying to understand about my “job.” “Is psychology a business? he asked. Yes, I said. “Why do people go to […]

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March 10, 2018Algazi Family Counselig

Eighty years ago Dale Carnegie’s book, “HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE” was published. Since, tens of millions of copies have been sold. As a new subscriber to AUDIBLE, I was re-introduced and delighted by the voice version of what was may be the first self-help book. (1934) Some would call his premise “manipulative”… […]

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February 23, 2018Alain Botton

       IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU MARRY, according to philosopher Alain de Botton.  “If you like them at the beginning, you probably won’t like them at the end. And if you start off hating them, there’s always the chance you’ll end up thinking they’re all right.” IS HE A CYNIC? AN ANTI-ROMANCE KIND […]

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February 9, 2018Alain Botton

   “Tall, dark and handsome?  Nice but not necessary. I’m fifty and single for the first time in twenty five years.” What is it you are looking for, I asked “Jennifer,” who owned up to searching for a new and perfect mate.  “He’s going to hate football, love the beach, detest camping, and … oh… […]

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Talk to the people who have failed to achieve their professional dreams and most likely, they’ll tell you about their bad luck and about how their failure had more to do with happenstance. Those who have been successful, on the other hand, take more credit for determining their own life paths. Turns out happy, successful […]

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January 12, 2018"PLAN" : NOT A BAD WORD

Making New Years Resolutions, at first thought, seems to be counter to the notion of mindfulness. “I don’t want a road map,” insisted forty-five year old “Josh. “For once, for now, at least, I want to throw away the road map… to just enjoy the moment. My wife doesn’t understand”. His wife, he said, was […]

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December 27, 2017#METOO

The latest flurry of no-fake news about powerful men, brought down by inappropriate behavior, inspired this week’s blog. Sexual harassment has toppled out of style with Harvey Weinstein’s accusers leading the canon-fire. I’m not exactly sure why this particular man’s creepy behavior caused the snowball effect; it does just seem like we have reached a […]

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December 15, 2017Algazi Family Counselig

Just finished reading WAKING THE TIGER: HEALING TRAUMA, by PETER LEVINE, who reminds us that individuals are often traumatized by incidents that may not even have had any significant impact on others. Which does not make my “trauma”… or yours… any less traumatic. LEVINE teaches us how to be prepared for the inevitable glitches that […]

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December 2, 2017CBT

If you are a psychology junkie or if you are just fascinated by our common human condition, put the old movie “ORDINARY PEOPLE” (1976) on your not-to-be-missed list. Through this wonderful, though sad story, we are reminded how the same events impact people in such different ways. “Conrad” suffers silently through massive emotional pain after […]

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November 15, 2017parenting

 “Going to Granny’s at holidays  Is not all its cracked up to be  Especially when Granny is me.  (MY MOM’S WORDS… IT’S HOLIDAY TIME AND I PROUDLY STAND ON HER SHOULDERS TODAY) “The family descends and expects the most And Grandpa and I play the gracious host  Never mind that we’re tired as can be. […]

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November 4, 2017"plastic" vs. "paper" relationships

I overheard a couple arguing at the check out stand in the market.   He said “paper”. She insisted on “plastic.” The checker was courteous as she waited for the verdict. His voice was louder; the “winner” was paper and she stormed away. The man behind them in line tried to be helpful.  “Not worth it […]

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October 22, 2017Uncategorized

Congrats to all those who spoke up on social media, in reaction to the most recent Hollywood sex scandal.   Now, I’m chiming in. I’ve never been raped, but like all women I do have stories to tell. I learned about what I call “the power of me…” from experience. Early on, I learned to […]

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October 14, 2017BOBBI GOLDMAN

 Today, in New York: Just saw the off- Broadway show called CURVY WIDOW.. The audience, mostly women of a certain age, rollicked with delight as Bobbi Goldman’s. post-menopausal, “sexy” memoir came alive in song and dance. Bobbi, the real life widow of Oscar-winning playwright and screenwriter,  James Goldman,. greeted giggling theater-goers in the lobby, before […]

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October 2, 2017BULLIES

 I never met Hugh Hefner which was fortunate because from all I know about him, I wouldn’t have liked him much. He wouldn’t have liked me either. For starters, I’ve been over 3o for some time now… and I’ve never been blond. If you are female, chances are he wouldn’t have liked you either… even […]

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September 23, 2017BEING GRATEFUL

  Once a year, like it or not, adjustment beckons. “Get used to the new number, girl.” True, I haven’t been a real “girl” for a while now…. but truth be told, I don’t know when that happened. I know enough, though, to be grateful. Old age, is a gift “they” say, which not everyone […]

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September 16, 2017"fractured families

You may hate me for this but there are other times when a lie… a little fib… may actually be justified and a good idea. Think of it as a survival skill. I’ll bet somebody once had you believe in the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus. Now you know they were lying. Stick with me… […]

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August 31, 2017"cracked" communication

I stand dinged. So many of you wrote that my last blog ,  “WATCH OUT FOR MARITAL TERMITES,” was a tease. You said I stopped too soon and didn’t offer enough about how to “termite- proof” a relationship. So, here goes… If you wish, take a moment or two, right now, to think about the […]

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 Ever hear of LINGCHI? I hadn’t either. It’s Chinese for “death by a thousand cuts,” the practice of which was outlawed, thankfully, in 1905.  ASK ANY LOVE DOCTOR. Marriages which fall apart, often do so, because of another a kind of LINGCHI. The culprits are a “thousand” little annoying “destroyers,” which can ultimately “termite” the […]

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August 3, 2017empowering yourself

WONDER WOMAN,  the fictional chick, with the perfect body who is out to save the world, relies on an arsenal of advanced technology which includes the Lasso of truth, a pair of indestructible bracelets and a head piece which serves as a projectile. Hard to believe she sprung from the brain of a man. (Then […]

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July 20, 2017love challenge

    This love doctor keeps her eye open for those people… couples… who seem to know how to take an extra bite out of life. I can’t help myself.  Maybe, I think, I’ll learn a few new tricks.  Haven’t you also noticed that people who are willing to seek out new experiences… just for […]

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July 9, 2017DATING

 “I’ve always believed in love at first sight. Please tell me it’s possible, doctor.” “Brianna” was crying. JOHN PERRY BARLOW, a one-time cynic, who wrote lyrics for the Grateful Dead, once said he was sure that the “”love at first sight” idea was invented by lady novelists from the South … with three names.”  There’s […]

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Following is a true “love-challenge” story,” I tuned into a screenplay, and almost sold several times. Finally, I learned how often it goes that way in show business. Then, last week, in a fancy eat-in super market, I witnessed a incident very much like the inspiration for my LOVE-CHALLENGE AT THE CAR WASH story. This […]

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June 8, 2017"Listen to Understand"

  In feudal Japan, a “NINJA” was a covert agent, a mercenary. . With the aid of disguises and specific learned techniques, he gathered information about enemies Espionage was his mission. Ninjas had to learn to be great listeners. Their training prepared them to know when to keep their mouth shut and their minds open.   This […]

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May 27, 2017A TRIBUTE TO JOY

KINDNESS, LIKE HAPPINESS AND LOVE, IS LIKE THE SUNSHINE…. there really is ENOUGH TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYONE. In my last blog, I celebrated the short, but wonderful life of my daughter-in-law Joy, from whom I learned so much about emotional generosity. So many of you responded. “How can I improve?” It sounds like a […]

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 My sweet daughter-in law was the bomb. We always joked that we had a lot in common…. we loved the same man. I gained new respect for my son, Peter, because she married him… He knows that. Peter and Joy had an enviable connection. Maybe that’s why they made the best kids. For these past […]

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April 24, 2017"cracked" communication

On TV this morning, I heard Barack Obama address young leaders.  “Listen to understand… rather than listen to respond . It will keep you out of a lot of trouble in your marriage,” quipped Barack Obama. He was re-directing the comments of one young man addressing the importance of the right kind of open communication […]

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April 7, 2017Uncategorized

Who could blame me for my fantasy? Looking down at the front door of  NEIMAN MARCUS, seventeen floors below, framed by the Pacific Ocean and Newport’s skyline, I’m thinking “ZIP-LINING.” In my head, I see an invisible, straight line, directly between my hotel room on the 17th floor of the  ISLAND HOTEL in Newport Beach, […]

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March 28, 2017Commitment

Couples who verbally fight with each other, seem to love more than couples who don’t ever seem to disagree.  “Really?” Really. Nobody agrees with anybody all of the time. JUST THINK ABOUT THIS: You have to really trust in the glue that binds you, in order to take on inevitable differences with someone you love. […]

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March 11, 2017"KAROJISATSU"

I hope you are not a candidate for  “KAROSHI.”  There isn’t even a translatable word in English; closest we can come is to call it “death by overwork.”  “KAROSHI”, according to The International Labor Association, is Japanese and refers to actual death… or work disability… because of one kind of cardiovascular attack or another, like […]

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February 25, 2017BULLIES

Just ask the GIRL SCOUTS:  Turns out it’s more important to be kind than to be happy! At least, we know, that being “kind” is more likely to come first. Research suggests that caring, respectful and responsible adults are the ones who live the happiest and most successful lives … and even make the most […]

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February 12, 2017"cracked" communication

In her photo, she was in a sexy ice suit, climbing the glaciers in Patagonia. He swiped to the right. They met with what felt like instant chemistry; It was just after Christmas. Sugarplum dreams danced in her head, thinking that this VALENTINE’S DAY, finally, would be special. Here was a girl, he thought, who […]

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February 2, 2017Uncategorized

Michelle Obama was quick to discount the words of the person who called her husband a “LAME DUCK”. “No way,” she smiled. Apparently, no one has to teach Michelle that a man needs to feel ADMIRED by the woman he loves. Sweetly, she explained that he was her “SILVER FOX” Awww. Good job, Michelle. Casanova […]

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January 18, 2017CATFISH SCAMS

A woman I’ll call “Emily,” an otherwise sensible and responsible professional, told me she had been “EMOTIONALLY RAPED.”  Even she couldn’t believe that it had taken SIX MONTHS of fantasy-like, on-line communication, before she caught on to the scam. Now, she’s having recurrent nightmares. Her once-busy accounting practice is suffering. She hardly leaves the house […]

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January 5, 2017"fractured families

Since there is nothing like the high of a wonderful romance, when a relationship ends the fall from grace can feel catastrophic, even when it is ultimately for the best. Still, nobody likes giving up on a dream. Depending on how long you’ve been coupled, breaking up is much more than losing… or even dismissing… […]

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December 22, 2016BULLIES

My friend, Margie sent me a safety pin as a gift. What is this for? I asked. “Just a reminder to be nice…. a symbol that you stand with those who are most vulnerable. “It’s a declaration of sorts,” she continued. “A way of showing that if in spite of the upsurge of what seems […]

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December 9, 2016Commitment

Joy’s friends have supported her during her physical challenges this year. She is my daughter-in-law and I am in awe of her and of her and of community of people who have stepped up to help. Look around in your own life to see who it is you trust most. Who are your friends ? […]

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November 21, 2016giving thanks

Medical doctors do not enjoy the flu season. Now, a demoralizing election cycle has left so many people unhappy enough to seek psychological help for their pessimism about the future of our country. Psychologists are not pleased about this. I try to remain hopeful, though. This is a democracy after all. The things that bind […]

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November 12, 2016"cracked" communication

It was the top of the seventh in the third game of the world series. Her intentions may have been good, but her timing sucked. She said: “Honey, we need to talk.” He couldn’t believe his ears. He thinks, “Now? Really?” “I could be naked in front of that TV and you’d ask me to […]

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October 25, 2016BULLIES

The morbidly obese who have succeeded in losing weight with the help of BARIATRIC SURGERY, are all too often, put down by others, for “cheating” and for “taking the easy way out.” Consider that criticism of Weight Loss Surgery is just another form of vicious “Fat Shaming.”  Those who are one hundred pounds plus… or […]

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October 16, 2016"cracked" communication

AN APOLOGY DOESN’T STAND A CHANCE, IF IT IS NOT SINCERE.  When you do feel the need to apologize, chances are you have offended, disappointed or embarrassed someone enough to mess up his/her emotional equilibrium. And if it’s your spouse you’ve dissed, double OOPS. It’s harder when love is at stake, when one of you […]

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October 4, 2016angry spouse

If you’re talking to a MAN who you suspect feels hopeless and/ or over-whelmed, please, please, don’t ask him if he’s depressed. Because… chances are he’ll deny the possibility anyway.                                                             Men, as opposed to women, are much more comfortable focusing on the physical symptoms that accompanies their depression.  Statistics support the idea that women […]

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September 7, 2016"fractured families

 (Take note:  This  bad, bad  “D” word  has nothing to do with the “Donald.”) There are certain things you should NEVER SAY to your spouse who you claim to love most of the time, even when you are over-the-top angry.  NEVER SAY:  “Whatever” … with that, you know the one… dismissive look on your face. […]

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August 25, 2016"BELIEVE ME"

 EVERYONE LIES. In fact, there are times lies… kind, “white” lies… can even serve you well. Like when you wife or your friend asks if you look “fat” in some new outfit. Or when the lady in the super market asks, “How are you?” Chances are, she really doesn’t want to know. There are those, […]

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August 14, 2016"fractured families

When “Betsy” came in for her first appointment, she wore big sunglasses to hide her bigger tears. She finally composed herself enough to explain that her friends “Meg” and “Rory” were getting divorced. It is always hard to watch people you care about, in pain, I said. “THEY’RE NOT IN PAIN… I AM,” SHE SAID. […]

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July 30, 2016"cracked" communication

I bet you’ve known someone who was so needy that he or she seemed to want… no… demand… all of your attention. You felt tired, drained after almost every encounter.   You may have been… or are… the victim of an “EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE.”   These people can and will suck you dry, if you let them. If […]

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July 15, 2016Algazi Family Counselig

“Lisa” said she was appalled when she showed up, uninvited, to her friend “Marie’s” home and could barely get through the door. She hadn’t been there for a while. My last post was Part One of this series. You can read it by clicking here on <HOARDER OR COLLECTOR>. “Stuff was everywhere, and Marie was […]

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July 2, 2016Algazi Family Counselig

He, who looked like a weathered hippy with an infectious smile, helped the man I hired, the one with a big truck and a strong back, to unload my gift onto dollies. I was donating my entire psychology/love library, 2000 books or so, to the public library and I handed them over to the gentleman-volunteer […]

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June 18, 2016"fractured families

Amy Chau, the infamous  “TIGER MOM,” and contract lawyer from Yale University, has now presented her grown up kids with a “rental agreement.” Really??? Amy and her husband, Jed, the father of her daughters, live in the suburbs of New York and have a well-loved, pied-a terre in the city, which was once their first […]

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June 4, 2016Blog

Forget about your age… I’d bet you have a dream. Everyone sort-of has one. What’s yours? Once you’ve identified it, you already know that magic wands rarely work and that to even give it a shot, you are going to need a really good road map. I was reminded again how enriching it is to […]

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May 20, 2016challenged by your own moral compass

I spoke to a new dad who was challenged by his own moral compass, enough so, that he shared his story with me, which in turn, inspired me to write  a short, “cautionary” screenplay Everyone who has ever had a baby knows what is feels like to be too exhausted to do much more than […]

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May 6, 2016angry spouse

TRUMP aside, surely you know… or love… someone who you’d describe as cocky, arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding? Your mom may have told you that the bully-kid on the school playground… the one who bugged you… was just insecure and didn’t even believe his own bravado.  Turns out, your mom was wrong. That bully, a […]

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April 22, 2016"cracked" communication

At a point of anger, have you ever out and accused your spouse, or someone else close to you, of  “MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING?” Have you ever blown off a loved one, with a sarcastic, “GOOD LUCK,” to mean, that there would be nothing short of miracle that will make whatever he/she […]

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April 9, 2016"fractured families

I’ve dared to imply that over-indulged children may end up causing grief for other family members, as well as for themselves. In my mailbox were letters from so many parents. Perhaps it was the term,  “AFFLUENZA,” which attracted the attention. “Affluenza” is NOT a mental condition, at least, not yet. Never the less, it has […]

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March 25, 2016"cracked" communication

I must of hit a nerve with my post entitled, “I’VE DIVORCED MY DAUGHTER”. First to respond was my own daughter, who read it and called to ask if there was something we needed to talk about. I think she was kidding… but I reassured her anyway. Then the responses to my e-mail account poured […]

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March 12, 2016Bill of Rights For Parents

Surely, sometimes it is reversed, but when things are not right with one’s adult children, it too often, is more of a profound, life-changing disappointment to the elder generation.  Life throws us sucker punches for sure. But, could it be that there is nothing is more painful than being estranged from an adult child? After […]

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February 28, 20165TH GRADE ANGST

I heard a man talking about his fifth grade “HERO” during a “MOTH RADIO HOUR.”  If you also felt that you were out-of-step with what you imagined you were supposed to be thinking or feeling, you’ll appreciate this story.  I’ve written before, about my fifth grade nemesis… the  “BULLY.” This time, I won’t use her […]

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You know, and so does she, that it’s a  “Hallmark Holiday,” but when you love somebody, you probably pay attention to “VALENTINES DAY.” You don’t need this love doctor to tell you that it’s a good idea to give in to some romantic gesture. “I’ve included some quirky movie-picks which may inspire romance… but first: […]

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January 28, 2016Blog

Know any  “SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW” people? You know who I mean…. those   OPTIMISTIC souls, who like “Annie,” somehow manage to be happy anyway, even when things don’t seem to be going so well. Try not to hate them. Instead… learn from them.   Remember how everyone loved “Annie”? When life throws you a few […]

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January 17, 2016angry spouse

“Nicole” waited until January to ask her husband “Jason” for a divorce. “Nicole” is not alone… January is famous for being “BREAK-UP” month. Ask any family law attorney and you’ll hear about how calendars fill up after the holidays.  Same for marriage counselors, psychologists and love-doctors. The couples we see, though, are usually still open […]

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January 3, 2016"Gotchas"

You’ve hidden his remote on purpose. UGH. Of course, he had no idea that you would do such a thing. But his passive aggressive quirks have finally got the best of you and you have stooped to fail, with your own set of “GOTCHAS”. Good for you that you’ve taken the first step by recognizing […]

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December 20, 2015"Gotchas"

                                                                       1. Does your spouse says or do mean things with a smile on his face? 2. Does your “loving” partner verbally comply with your requests but miss the mark, when it comes to follow-through? 3. Does he drive you crazy by consistently postponing or procrastinating doing something that he has promised to do? 4. […]

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December 5, 2015Uncategorized

I’d bet there have been times when you’ve felt a bit like “Br’er Rabbit?” Like during the holidays, when you’ve been stuck with some relative with whom you cannot communicate. In case you don’t remember the story of “Br’er Rabbit” … it ‘s about a Fox who plays a trick on a Rabbit by making […]

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November 22, 2015Commitment

 At it’s best, Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate family and love. It is also a time to remember and salute, those who are no longer with us, and on whose shoulders we stand. Today, I bow to my creative mom. She was a poet, of sorts, with not much of a filter and was […]

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November 10, 2015apology

You did something wrong, for sure… and you really are sorry. Perhaps you’ve gossiped without knowledge, broke a confidence, let somebody down, or acted selfishly. Maybe you’ve broken a promise. Not to worry; everyone’s been guilty. But for now what you want, is for whatever you did to go on automatic re-wind… and quickly. To […]

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October 25, 2015BALANCE

  It took too many hours to get from Orange County, California to Canyon Ranch, Lenox, but it was worth it. The leaves had turned to the most wonderful colors. The weather was cold and crisp with sunny skies. The hotel/spa grounds are magnificent, decorated with good art from local artists. The activities, indulgences and side […]

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October 11, 2015BALANCE

My sister’s hubby, a loyal  BRUIN, was one of my favorite people. Not because he’s bowled a 300 game. Never mind that he was professionally successful, adored by his family, proficient in most sports, maker of the best margaritas. He was a guy who knew how to be a good friend and how to have […]

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September 23, 2015Blog

We wondered, my husband and I, what it must be like for our friends to live in Dallas, Texas, as gay democrats.   Paul and Jack lived together in a suburban neighborhood, which seemed to to us, to wreak of quintessential conservatism.                              […]

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September 11, 2015Blog

The book Dr.Wayne Dyer wrote in the 70’s, had nothing to do with sex. Look fast and “ERRONEOUS” could READ, “EROGENOUS.”      The title is what sold this book… at least initially. Dr .WAYNE DYER   tricked us into paying attention. His book had absolutely nothing to do with sex. And then… we discovered that it […]

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September 1, 2015Blog

A wife I’ll call “Maureen” told “Russell,” her husband of eighteen years, that she wanted a divorce… Only then did they make an appointment with this love doctor! They came in fighting. I could hear them through the walls, in my waiting room. I knew this wasn’t going to be much fun. They glared at […]

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August 22, 2015Blog

Do you feel ignored by your wife? Do you feel like a nuisance around her? Perhaps your relationship has hit a giant snag? In case you haven’t noticed, romance busters are everywhere. Kid-problems and managing extended family relationships don’t inspire much passion. Perhaps, there are money challenges. Or maybe your issues have to do with […]

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dr. zhivago

Her “Dr. Zhivago” Guy on Tinder

August 9, 2015Blog

 August 9, 2015 Click on the green heart if you like how she looks… to the red “X” if you’re not interested. “Tinder,” the electronic dating app makes it so easy to find your soul mate… or someone you’d like to hang out with, anyway “Tricia” swooned when she looked at “Cameron’s” photo. “He looks […]

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Learning Manners From a New Yorker?

July 12, 2015Blog

July 12, 2015 I couldn’t wait to share my city of origin with my seven-year-old grandson. Aidan with his giant back-pack, rolled his suitcase into our hotel in New York City, to begin our wonderful adventure. It was just the two of us. Which meant, of course, he needed to be in charge of some […]

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Why Would She Do That?

June 29, 2015Blog

June 29, 2015 A female tailor-shop instructor in a maximum-security jail, wooed by two convicted murderers, helped them with their plan to escape. She’s been charged with smuggling hack saw blades and other tools to the inmates inside of frozen hamburger meat. In the end, she sort of came to her senses and managed to […]

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Welcome Caitlyn

June 15, 2015Blog

June 15, 2015 At sixty-five, Bruce Jenner hasn’t done himself any favor by becoming Caitlyn. It’s tough being a sixty-five year old woman. I never fantasized about changing my sex, but I did recognize, even when I was very young, that boys had advantages that I didn’t have. They were stronger and had more freedom, […]

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nice guy

“Nice” Guys Have More Sex

June 7, 2015Blog

June 7, 2015 When’s the last time you winked at your spouse across the room? Or thanked him/her for all the things he does for you? Those would be really nice things to do. For marital happiness, I believe being “nice” is even more important than knowing the right way to “listen” and to communicate. […]

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George’s Jealous Wife

May 26, 2015Blog

May 26, 2015 A man I’ll call “George,” called me several months ago. “Help,” he said. “My wife thinks I’m having an affair. She’s obsessed with everything I do. She checks out what I’m wearing. She checks out my underwear. No kidding. I bought new underwear because the old ones were tearing and she got […]

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bffs on the loose

BFF’s on the Loose in Montreal

May 3, 2015Blog

May 3, 2015 Not exactly “golden,” we’re no match – at least these days, for Carrie Bradshaw and her friends, which really has nothing to do with anything. In puffy coats and woolen scarfs, we four BFF’s brought our Southern California weather to Montreal. It was even fun to smile and take credit for the […]

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i'm the boss of me

From Brooklyn… Armed With Love

April 19, 2015Blog

April 19, 2015 Sunset. Gorgeous yachts. Paddle-boarders with long blond hair. Electric boats carrying waving children. Friends drinking wine, laughing, waving back. It all seemed surreal. How did I get here… this sort-of poor kid from Brooklyn? Do you ever think about things like that? I don’t, very often, but I did the other gorgeous […]

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too much texting

Etiquette For Over-Aged “Texters”

April 5, 2015Blog

April 5, 2015 “Carol,” 53, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she talked about how texting had almost led her to “romantic” folly. Newly single, “Carol” hadn’t been on a date for twenty-five years. . Then, walking her dog on Balboa Island, she met “Hal,” who invited her to coffee. She thought he […]

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divorce prediction

Can Divorce Really Be Predicted?

March 22, 2015Blog

March 22, 2015 “Divorce can be predicted with 91% accuracy and in about five minutes,” says guru psychologist, Dr. John Gottman, who shares his secrets with other mental health professionals. Dr. Gottman’s research demonstrates that when a couple’s communication spirals down too far, certain types of “attacks,” can be so marriage – lethal, that he […]

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Fifty Shades of Good Guy / Bad Guy

March 3, 2015Blog

March 3, 2015 “In a super-hero movie, its typically good guy and bad guy… and bad guy attacks. In real life, evil seduces.” —Joaquin Phoenix Not always, but sometimes, these evil seducers are narcissists with over-inflated ideas of their own importance and talents, like the fictional Christian Grey in the story, “Fifty Shades of Grey.” […]

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two karate chop break ups

Two “Karate Chop” Break-Ups

February 16, 2015Blog

February 16, 2015 More couples are likely to split up in January than in any other month. The resulting chaos is great for February magazines at super-market check-stands. “Un-love” stories of the 99% of us who aren’t especially tabloid-worthy can be just as devastating… we are just not as likely to hear about them. Unless […]

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Valentine's earthquake kit

Valentine’s “Earthquake” Kit

February 9, 2015Blog

February 9, 2015 This Love Doctor speaks with authority and is sure that romantic relationships are worth every bit of the trouble they cause. They do need to be cared for and cherished, however. If I made the rules, every single couple would have a piggy bank prominently displayed their home…. a special and unique […]

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Drama junkie

Drama “Junkies” and Their Partners

January 31, 2015Blog

January 31, 2015 “At midnight, on New Year’s Eve, my wife, the ‘Drama Queen’ kissed me passionately and then screamed, so loud that the whole neighborhood could hear. She told me that last year was the worst year of our marriage and that I should pack my things and leave. This wasn’t the first time. […]

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36 Magic Questions

January 18, 2015Blog

January 18, 2015 Want to feel more connected to someone? Ask each other these 36 questions — but not all at once. Even if you are not currently coupled, it may serve you well to think about your own answers. And about how much you would be willing to share. 1. Given the choice of […]

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“Cuddles For Hire” and January Drama

January 9, 2015Blog

January 9, 2015 This morning, “The Wall Street Journal” included a feature article about how the “Cuddle For Hire” business is taking off, even though — “clothes are staying on”. Really? The proponents insist their service has nothing to do with sex and that what they offer instead is hugs, nuzzles and tickles for about […]

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“WOOP” It Up In 2015

December 29, 2014Blog

December 29, 2014 Do you “wish” some part of your life were different? Around the turn of a new year, most of us at least, think about, thinking about these kinds of things. Unless you believe in magic, you also know that you are going to have to do something different if you want things […]

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Kissing Lessons… Movies and Mistletoe

December 19, 2014Blog

December 19, 2014 “How to Kiss,” beat out “How to crochet,” barely, as the most frequent “how to” question asked, according to Google. “How to crochet” came in as a close second this year. I’m not making this up. With so much mistletoe around, I thought it was worth mentioning. Do people really need kissing […]

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“Dr. Cliff Huxtable”

December 8, 2014Blog

December 8, 2014 “Dr. Cliff Huxtable” has become an iconic, American role model. His character, played by Bill Cosby, is lovable, sweet, vulnerable, funny and educated. Avuncular. I’ve always been a sucker for men like him.. “Dr. Huxtable” earns his living as an ob/gyn. I’ve also always thought there’s something to be said for men […]

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Tame Those Turkeys

November 24, 2014Blog

November 24, 2014 Have a relative you’re not looking forward to hanging out with this Thursday? You’re not alone. Maybe you even love that person, but his/her likely behavior when the family gathers, is intolerable to you. Here’s a few things you can do to make things better: 1. If Old Uncle What’s-His-Name starts in […]

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*** “I’m The Boss of Me”

November 19, 2014Blog

November 19, 2014 SPOILER ALERT: People spend almost half of the time they are awake thinking about something other than what they are doing … and how often their mind drifts, is predictive of how happy or unhappy they are. No kidding. There is scientific research to support the notion that “mind-wandering” is a mood […]

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Ticket Back to Hot Sex

November 3, 2014Blog

November 3, 2014 Interested in hot sex? –“RE-KINDLING” has to come first. That is… if you’re thinking about having it with the same old partner. Think “campfire”. You have to start slow to reach the big flames. Talking is a very good place to start. Don’t roll you eyes, Gentlemen. Women are always claiming that […]

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“Gone Girl” … A Mirror of Marriage

October 23, 2014Blog

October 23, 2014 “Gone Girl” was a smash hit as a book and now as a movie. Why do you think? The story is about a beautiful, once happily married wife, who mysteriously disappears on her fifth anniversary. We do get some early hints about “Amy’s” manipulation skills, but mostly, there is room for imaginations […]

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Love and Hope in New York City

October 3, 2014Blog

October 3, 2014 My credentials as a love doctor are stretched on every trip I make to New York. I’ve often been accused of having a love affair with this city, my original “hood.” There are lots people here who look, sound and dress like me. I see a reflection of myself everywhere. Can you […]

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Getting a Marriage Back on Track

September 15, 2014Blog

September 15, 2014 After reading my last blog entry, (Divorce Predictors, September 4th 2014), Hilda wrote: “I get that the marriages you describe are in jeopardy, but what now? Can these marriages ever be saved?” Sometimes they can, Hilda. Some people learn from their bad experiences and move on to healthier relationships with or without […]

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Divorce Predictors

September 4, 2014Blog

September 4, 2014 Once, Holly’s life with Jeff was enviable, filled with all kinds of adventure and anticipation. They invested an enviable amount of time in their relationship. “Once upon a time,” she says, “things were perfect.” These days,” she says, she feels like he’d rather be with anyone, but me. I have become a […]

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Robin Williams, My Friend Katy and What You Can Do

August 16, 2014Blog

August 16, 2014 Suicide sometimes looms like a permanent option for what usually turns out to be a temporary problem. How sad that is. The decision to take one’s life is usually made in a fuzzy brain state, colored by some event or disappointment that may seem insurmountable. “Life isn’t for everyone.” Robin Williams was […]

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He Can So Change

August 10, 2014Blog

August 10, 2014 “Larry,” 46, is on a mission of self discovery. A mid-life crisis? Maybe. In any event, his therapy has been centered around re-thinking his own self-image. I first met Larry six months ago. He was, by his own admission, twenty pounds, over-weight. His exercise program was “stalled,” he says, because of a […]

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Judy Blume

Awe-Struck By Judy Blume, Shopping and “Hands-Up” Generosity

July 20, 2014Blog

July 20, 2014 I was in Santa Fe New Mexico to go shopping. Don’t smirk. The once a year International Folk Art Market gives enthusiasts like me a chance to feel good about spending money and I wasn’t alone. There were thousands of other visitors doing the same thing. An “Alliance” in Santa Fe takes […]

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13 and 23

Cool at 13, Adrift at 23

June 29, 2014Blog

June 29, 2014 It must be true… I read it in the newspaper: Thirteen-year-old middle school “stars,” who dabble in stuff that most parents don’t approve of, fall off the popularity wagon in fairly short order. You know who they are.. the ones who at thirteen, only hang with attractive people, have many “romances,” … […]

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Friendship On Fire

June 8, 2014Blog

June 8, 2014 I was challenged by a man who considers himself an expert when it comes to all things, romantic. “I want to know, how you, the ‘Love Doctor, define “Romantic Love.” He wasn’t talking about “family love, or brotherly love, about institutional love, or of the unconditional love we feel for our offspring.” […]

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What Happy People Don’t Do

May 23, 2014Blog

May 23, 2014 We look in awe at people who seem to be really happy. Are they messing with us? Not always. Some people know how to be happy and we can just wonder how they do that. Don’t hate them… learn from them. Happy people know how to laugh and relish a moment. They […]

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newport beach

An Affluent City On Trial… Again

May 10, 2014Blog

May 10, 2014 The “Prom Draft” at Corona del Mar High School has put Newport Beach, California, back in the news. That this story followed so closely behind the “cheating” scandal,” I think, made it sound worse than it really is. This time, I’m not sure, anyone at CDM did anything wrong. During the cheating […]

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The Best City For Love: Paris? New York?

April 28, 2014Blog

April 28, 2014 Paris is the city of LOVE; I’m sure you’ve also read that somewhere. Paris is beautiful and inspiring … lovers can do well when they share the experience of what it has to offer. For me, when it comes to LOVE, however, New York is still the real deal. One sunny but […]

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“Love” Can Be Scary

March 23, 2014Blog

March 23, 2014 “Love” is so powerful that it can turn your world upside down and inside out. It can be downright scary. When it works, though, there’s nothing quite like it and makes even a bumpy ride seem worthwhile. If you’ve ever loved, surely you agree. But should you become single again, chances are […]

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What Awe-Inspiring Love Idea Did You Have Today?

March 1, 2014Blog

March 1, 2014 When daughters who say they are marriage-minded, get sick of hanging out with undependable, bad-boy, boyfriends, they’re likely to pay more attention to Mom’s advice: “In this turbulent ever-changing world, safe and predictable men have always made the best husbands.” Flash forward ten or twenty years and these same daughters (and some […]

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Falling In Love With Her

January 10, 2014Blog

January 10, 2014 “HER” played in our local theater. When it was over, several of the moviegoers around me were quite vocal with their reviews. “Soooo romantic,” cooed one woman. Her friend agreed. “Samantha and Theodore seemed like the perfect couple.” For the uninitiated who haven’t seen this film, please note that “Samantha” is the […]

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December 28, 2013Blog

December 28, 2013 Were you also outraged by the story about the “wealthy” teenager who will serve no prison time after getting drunk from stolen beer, and killing four people? Mostly, on this blog, I write about grownups and the best ways they can love each other. This time, however, I invite you to hear […]

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New York, Salvation Army Ladies and Phony Weddings in Paris

December 8, 2013Blog

December 8, 2013 I’m on an airplane, on the way home from New York. Yes, again. The pull to spend time in my hometown remains persistent. For me, it is energizing to pound the pavement… beats a treadmill any day. I always expect something wonderful to happen. Sometimes it does. The Christmas windows at Bergdorf, […]

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November 30, 2013Blog

November 30, 2013 Jews celebrated Thanksgiving and Hanukah together this year. The Hebrew calendar just worked out that way. The second night of Hanukkah was dubbed, “Thanksgivakah” . At first, it all sounded too weird to think about. Especially since it has never happened before in my lifetime and is not about to happen again […]

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ghost stories

Ghost Stories of the Heart

October 30, 2013Blog

October 30, 2013 Maybe it’s because it’s Halloween. Or maybe not. Just seems that everyone has a ghost-sighting story to tell and that all too often, the stories have something to do with romance.. “Brett’s” mom died twenty years ago, but he insists she came to him in his sleep with a clear message: “Marry […]

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Private Eye

Need a Private Eye? Not So Fast

October 9, 2013Blog

October 9, 2013 A woman I’ll call “Molly” came to see me after spending a weekend at spa resort with her friend who I’ll call “Jody.” Their husbands were off playing in a golf tournament. Molly was upset because her friend revealed that her husband had asked for a vacation from their marriage. Jody’s husband […]

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ny ny

New York and Nude Models… With New Eyes

September 21, 2013Blog

September 21, 2013 Nude models… a young man and a young woman… a quartet playing soft background music, forty or so artists and some wannabees, sketching, a bar, snacks for sale and the most exquisite, illustrative art on the walls. A perfect New York experience. As a former New Yorker who can still fake it, […]

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coming of Age

Coming of Age… Sort of

August 22, 2013Blog

August 22, 2013 I was at the senior center, about to start a zumba dancing class and I had palpitations in the parking lot. The last time I had taken a dancing class, I cried… I was five years old and I made my mother promise me that I would never have to go back. […]

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Picture of Dr. Linda Algazi, Ph.D

Texting During Sex? Noooo!

August 3, 2013Blog

August 3, 2013 It must be true. I read it and  it wasn’t  even in the tabloids: Twenty percent of people under thirty-five text while having sex. Some older folks, apparently, are guilty too. I can’t vouch for what happens in the bedrooms of these people but I don’t think it could be very much […]

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A Museum Dedicated to You and Me and Broken Love

July 18, 2013Blog

July 18, 2013 “BROKENSHIPS” is the name of the café in an award-winning museum in Croatia, called The Museum of Broken Relationships. A totally cool and brilliant idea. More than ever, museum professionals look for way to make exhibitions, their “wares” if you will, relevant to this latest generation who have been raised in a […]

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July 3, 2013Blog

July 3, 2013 I’ve always loved fireworks on July 4th; so don’t call me a spoilsport as you read this. “Fireworks,” just takes on different meaning in the world of family counselors and psychologists. If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, you know what I mean. Could you do a better […]

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On Becoming an “Elderly, Optimistic Orphan”

June 10, 2013Blog

June 10, 2013 I’m working at becoming an “optimistic orphan.” My mom died last year, at ninety-five and a half, fifty years after my dad’s death. Most people would say she lived a long-enough life and that I should be grateful not only her longevity, but for the promise of my own. I am grateful. […]

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Delicious Cultural Differences

May 30, 2013Blog

May 30, 2013 A Chinese lady… a lovely, slender woman gave me a gift. It came wrapped in a Saks Fifth Avenue box with a grosgrain ribbon. “I hope you will enjoy these,” she said. May I open it? I asked. “Of course.” Inside were 12 or so thin cookies wrapped in what looked like […]

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Chalk on pavement

Never Trust a Woman

May 15, 2013Blog

May 15, 2013 It was a really bad week for women, at least in the movies. “The Great Gatsby,” Jay, is obsessed not only with his own image, but with vulnerable Daisy, the wife of wealthy, boorish and philandering Tom. Gatsby throws outrageous, over-the-top parties, mostly to attract Daisy’s attention. He’ll do anything to win […]

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Kick, Kick

Kick, Kick That “Bucket”

May 6, 2013Blog

May 6, 2013 I hate the idea that having a bucket-list implies that I expect to die any time soon. So, when I overheard two twenty-something girls in New York this week talking, arguing, about what sounded like bucket-list talk, I was curious. “I’m want to learn Italian,” said the first girl. “Me too. No […]

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Number 42

Jackie Robinson and Justin Bieber

April 14, 2013Blog

April 14, 2013 It was easy to imagine a bunch of teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert, waiting, waiting for their idol to come on stage. The electricity of anticipation, hung out, in the air. No roar of the crowd, though, only quiet anticipatory reminiscence by a bunch of over-the-top baseball fans. It was […]

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april 1st

April Fools

April 1, 2013Blog

April 1, 2013 “Jen” sort of cried, “Yes, I love him. For sure, more than I did yesterday. Yesterday, “Chad” was a jerk again.” What did he do? “He flirted with a waitress. I hate when that happens.” Maybe he was just being nice, “Jen.” Don’t you hate it when you see people acting “entitled” […]

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Football, TV, Cell Phones or Me?

March 13, 2013Blog

March 13, 2013 Ladies: Ever hear of “Zeebox?” It’s an app which watches your TV shows, right along with you and offers the kind of chatter and gossip you may crave. Never will you get that kind of attention and companionship from your man. He’s not even interested in the shows you watch. Gentlemen: If […]

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How “Serious” is Your Relationship?

February 14, 2013Blog

February 14, 2013 Do you remember when you decided that your love relationship became “SERIOUS” Do you remember what you told your friends, your parents? By “SERIOUS,” I don’t think you meant “grave”, or “stern” or “humorless.” You were in love and it was fun. That’s what you were trying to communicate. “He’s special.” “She’s […]

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50 kisses

“Fifty Kisses” Screenplay Contest

January 31, 2013Blog

January 31, 2013 I’d love for you to read my Valentine’s script and give me some notes! “Fifty Kisses.” Think about it. I just couldn’t resist entering this contest because it felt like the perfect challenge for this love doctor, who also happens to be a closeted screenwriter. The task: To write a complete screenplay, […]

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My Love Affair With a Store

January 25, 2013Blog

January 25, 2014 My name is Linda and I am a Loehmann’s junkie, now in a forced recovery. Loehmann’s is going out of business. For the uninitiated, Loehmann’s, has been a national chain of discount stores, specializing in high fashion at reduced prices. High fashion is in my blood. Scoring a find with a good […]

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My Valentine

To My Valentine

January 16, 2013Blog

January 16, 2013 Dear Valentine, I know you are worried about what to give me for Valentine’s Day, so let me give you a few hints. No chocolates, please. I love chocolates, and I will not be able to resist them. Save me from that. Please. I do not want cut flowers because they die […]

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“Bah Humbug” To Resolutions?

January 6, 2013Blog

January 6, 2013 “Bah Humbug” To Resolutions? – Are you a New Years Resolver? Or do you declare “Bah humbug” and resolve never to make another resolution on New Years Day? Let me re-phase the question. Have you made a “promise” to yourself recently? Sometimes, it’s just easier to deal with a “promise.” In the […]

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“Amour”… About Love and the End of Life

December 26, 2012Blog

December 26, 2012 “Amour”… About Love and the End of Life – I think a lot about “love,” even when it’s not the holidays. I read a about relationships and seek out movies about people who care about each other. You’d probably agree that this is a good thing for the “love-doctor” to do. So, […]

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Your Responses About the Connecticut Massacre

December 20, 2012Blog

December 20, 2012 Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the tragedy in Connecticut. Here is a sampling of the more than sixty responses  I received from family and friends: “Every American should fly a flag at half mast every day for one month, and then on the 14th day of every month until the […]

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half mast

Our Flags At Half Mast

December 16, 2012Blog

December 16, 2012 Our flags are at half-mast, as I write this. All in the name of love. Love for the innocent children as well as for the adults who lost their lives in this week’s horrific slaughter in Connecticut. Love for their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, children, teachers, classmates and friends. We lower […]

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one too many


November 17, 2012Blog

November 17, 2012 Infidelity – The conference at UCI last week-end was about “infidelity.” Not about how to do it, but how to avoid it and/or recover after it has happened. We react with reality TV- like interest and scorn, when national heroes, or our friends, are caught giving in to illicit passions. “How could […]

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