I overheard a couple arguing at the check out stand in the market.   He said “paper”. She insisted on “plastic.”

The checker was courteous as she waited for the verdict. His voice was louder; the “winner” was paper and she stormed away.

The man behind them in line tried to be helpful.  “Not worth it buddy,” he said to the man, who hinted at a truth.   It is good to learn to pick your fights.

Call it a leap, but I’d guess that couple could be struggling with other things as well.

(Funny how ove doctors think about things like this.)

We’ll never know but maybe, maybe, … they would identify as  “OPPOSITES”. And maybe that’s not even so bad.

 

For sure,  “OPPOSITES” attract… at least initially. It’s easy to be fascinated by those who are different from us just like it’s fascinating for me to make up stories about strangers in super markets.

 COULD ONE OF THEM BE:

  1. A vegetarian vs. a meat eater?
  2. An athlete vs. a couch potato?
  3. A morning person vs. a night owl?
  4. An introvert vs. an extrovert?
  5. impulsive vs. disciplined?
  6. A spender vs. a saver?
  7. A Republican vs. a Democrat?

 Everyone deals with versions of this. For some, though, there may be over-the–top, harder-to-cope-with differences.

You’ve met these people.   You’ve wondered, “How did they ever get together?”

Somehow, they did. And now they can either make each other crazy or learn to turn some of their challenges into advantages.

If you are in a  “OPPOSITES” relationship that could use some improvement…  and if you still value the excitement that brought you together… consider a little attitude-changing.

 THINK ABOUT THIS:

 Living happily with an “OPPOSITE” requires:

That you develop compromise skills beyond those necessary in less challenged unions. (What an opportunity to experience things you may never have thought about had you been with a more like-minded partner!)

  1. That you sharpen your debating skills to include focus on a happy resolution rather than on winning.
  2. That you do more listening than speaking.
  3. That you keep your mind open for a middle ground.
  4. That at times, you agree to disagree.
  5. That you recognize that your partner may offer valuable new insight in an “OPPOSITE”
  6. That you learn to take pleasure from the pleasure of your “OPPOSITE” and are willing to help your partner to recognize your own different sensitivities.
  7. That you concentrate on the values and interests you do share and put lots of energy into expanding options.

Conventional wisdom warns that too many differences between life partners… or even business partners… can make relationships unsustainable.

Which is probably true.

It’s also true, however, that if you were creative enough to get into an  “OPPOSITE”” kind of relationship in the first place, then learning to appreciate…  or at least to deal with your differences, may be more than worth it.

P.S. I hope that the couple in the super market think about investing in some canvas, re-useable bags.


Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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