stop

You’ve hidden his remote on purpose. UGH.

Of course, he had no idea that you would do such a thing. But his passive aggressive quirks have finally got the best of you and you have stooped to fail, with your own set of “GOTCHAS”.

devilgirl

Good for you that you’ve taken the first step by recognizing how his words often don’t match his actions. His pattern has become predicable… he makes promises, placates, procrastinates and then complains about how he can never meet your unrealistic “demands”.

If you love your guy anyway, give him back the remote… and get your marriage heading in the right direction.

It’s a New Year, after all and your own crazy behavior will only make the problem worse.

TIPS FROM THE LOVE EXPERTS:

1. If after his passive “confrontation,” you find yourself feeling helpless, angry, and confused, commit to yourself to make some changes.

2. Give up on your own behaviors… that haven’t worked before you give up on him.

3. Your challenge, as difficult as it is, is to avoid saying or doing something else, which may escalate the problem.

4. Instead, take a deep breath and try to defuse the situation with love. Remain determined to focus on the real issue, whatever it may be.

5. Meditate. Count the ways your relationship does work and why you believe it is worth “fighting” for. Share some of your positive thoughts with him.

6. Consider that his passive aggressive “quirks” may contain an important message. A clue? Could he be so afraid of you that he will avoid all confrontation at any cost? Think about what you could do to help.

7. Don’t be so quick to fight back. Try inviting him to move your intimacy to a new level by speaking more directly to you. Tell him in a matter of fact way, that “hinting” hasn’t seemed to work so well. Be clear and re-assuring that you are ready to love him better too.

8. Make sure he knows that you have made a decision to lay off some of your nagging demands.

9. Catch him doing something right.

10. Of course, you can and must always have some limits of your own. For the moment though, tap into your optimism and recognize that he, like most people, is more likely to respond to loving reinforcement… especially if your relationship is in otherwise good shape.
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BOTTOM LINE:
If you choose to take this love -challenge, your spouse may recognize how being more direct with you, is really in his/her own best interests.


Thanks For Visiting,

Email Dr. Linda

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